Would this bother you? Books on "tape" in the car?

[bisous]

My kids and I are in the car often as I'm a SAHM and tasked with ferrying them around to school and their various activities. So we have been listening to books on CD and we love doing it. We insist on waiting for the whole group to be in the car and we're on the 7th book of Spirit Animals. It is fun because we'll pause it and give "hypotheses" about what might happen or point out things in the story that seem like hints, etc. It is just fun.

But DH is not amused with our passion. He dislikes listening to books on tape. He's actually really funny about. He likes listening to books on tape BY HIMSELF but NOT with other people. Now I understand why he might not want to listen to a random story that he hasn't been following so I suggested getting a book on CD that we could listen to only when DH is with us so he could join in our experience. But he won't have it.

I'm torn. The whole car enjoys the story thing EXCEPT him. He wants to listen to his own music with is fine for me but nothing exciting. Otherwise he'll just put in earbuds while I drive and listen to his own stuff.

Well, we're driving down to Disney soon (2 hour drive nothing huge) and I'd like to listen to something fun while I wrangle the LA traffic. The kids definitely prefer listening to stories than to nothing or DH's music. Is it really inconsiderate to listen to the book on tape while DH zones out with his own stuff? There is no consoling DH. I feel like he's being stubborn and obnoxious.

Honestly I'm not really sure that I'm NOT being obnoxious about this. DH and I butt heads on trivial stupid things like this often and I feel like I've lost my sense of perspective and fairness when it comes to DH. Also, full disclosure my step dad does absolutely whatever my mom asks him to whenever. She rides right over any opinions he has, lol. I'm glad she's a strong female example but I am also always surprised whenever DH has his own opinion. I don't want to be like my mom and insensitive to DH's perspective but I also think DH can be pigheaded.

So I'm asking you guys--who is "right" here?

[SnuggleBuggles]

Easy enough to compromise. Listen 1 way and not the other.
Or, go with majority rules.


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[123LuckyMom]

This doesn't seem to be an issue of right or wrong. While I'd be disappointed that DH didn't want to join in the fun, if it isn't fun for him, and he doesn't mind the rest of the family enjoying themselves while he listens to his own music, what's the harm of his doing his own thing? It would be better to find an activity that's fun for all of you to do together, but if that's not possible, at least you can all be happy together while doing your separate activities. That seems like the next best thing.

BTW, I do not enjoy trying to guess what will happen next and the like-- all the things that make your group listening so much fun. My sister makes fun of me for this, but I find that kind of thing highly irritating! I just want to keep listening to the story and find out rather than speculating. I understand that speculation is half the fun for most people, though, so when DS "wastes" reading time speculating, I smother my urge to roll my eyes and push him to continue and instead try to giggle a bit at my own stick-in-the-muddiness. I can see why your DH might find your group listening irritating, though. I might feel the same way!


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[rlu]

We did sing-a-longs when my sis and I were young with my mom leading (dad always drove, always). Once I hit the tween years, we switched to the kids listening to their walk-mans (I'm old) with headphones while my folks talked. We didn't have a built-in tape player in the car so radio was the only choice so not terribly relevant to your options today but the point is that at some point my folks gave up on the "family" experience in trade for peace.

DS mostly likes the music DH and I listen to on trips but we tailor our choices to cds we know he likes (or tolerates).

Is there anything you all like? Otherwise I'd drop the cd altogether and see if the kids can self-entertain. It would bother me if DH was not engaged with me in the car, but then DH and I have always relied on each other for entertainment (and staying awake) while driving (it is 2.5 hours to MIL and we've been married nearly 20 years so that is a lot of driving).

[o_mom]

Driver chooses here. So...if you are driving then choose what you want. He is welcome to bring headphones and listen to his own thing as a passenger. Obviously the driver can't use headphones, so they control the radio.

Now...I cannot for the life of me understand anyone who doesn't want to listen to something that keeps four kids quiet on a 2 hr car ride.

[mmommy]

Driver chooses here. So...if you are driving then choose what you want. He is welcome to bring headphones and listen to his own thing as a passenger. Obviously the driver can't use headphones, so they control the radio.

Now...I cannot for the life of me understand anyone who doesn't want to listen to something that keeps four kids quiet on a 2 hr car ride.

[DualvansMommy]

Driver chooses here. So...if you are driving then choose what you want. He is welcome to bring headphones and listen to his own thing as a passenger. Obviously the driver can't use headphones, so they control the radio.

Now...I cannot for the life of me understand anyone who doesn't want to listen to something that keeps four kids quiet on a 2 hr car ride.

Another one from me who doesn't see it as a big deal? honestly, you and DH have 4 KIDS with you the majority of time spend with them. So, anything for a quiet/drama free car rides rules my family. If it's you driving then do the books on CD and let DH listen to his own music with ear buds or read kindle. But if it is DH driving, then i can see where it gets tricky....just do what my DH do; he lets our kids pick the kids songs to play on the car CD and DH listen to his own music from his phone with earbuds while driving.

[blisstwins]

We do books on tape or NPR here for a while I felt guilty automatically changing the stations in my husbands car from sports to our stuff. My children just applied to middle school and they used so much of what they listened to on their applications and interviews that even my husband is glad I was pushy about using our time well in the car. Your listening habits with your kids is educational and for us that trumps all.

[Simon]

We all love audiobooks and the kids and I listen often in the car, but I can sympathize with your Dh because I strongly dislike listening to music of any kind in the car. It really just sets me on edge and there is not middle ground for me (it doesn't help if I like it or its quiet; back speakers only is the best compromise for me). I think its fine for audiobooks to be for just you and the kids. I don't think he should have to like them.

That said, I would expect him to sometimes just put in his ear buds so the rest of you can listen to a book OR for him to be engaged with the kids in conversation, singing, a game, etc. if he is taking away their main entertainment. If what he really wants is just to turn off the audiobook so he can replace it with his music or sports radio, then I think he's being obnoxious.

[o_mom]

.just do what my DH do; he lets our kids pick the kids songs to play on the car CD and DH listen to his own music from his phone with earbuds while driving.

It is not legal for a driver to use earbuds in OP's state.