Thank you etiquette.

[Chitowngirl]

My DS has a name that is an uncommon spelling of a common name (think Marc instead of Mark).

Anyway, a good friend just gave DS a monogrammed gift. This has happened before, and I'm still not sure the best way to handle it. I definitely plan to send a thank you for the thoughtful gift, but should I point out the spelling of his name? I don't want her to waste her money anymore, but I don't want to seem ungrateful or seem like I'm asking her to send more gifts.


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[BunnyBee]

How good of a friend? Good enough so that you could ask if the company monogrammed it incorrectly? Especially if it was sent to you by the company. Do you mean it's happened before from the same person? If she's not close enough to ask, I'd just send a thank you note that uses his name and not mention it.

Some monograms are easier to remove than others. If your DH has an electric beard trimmer or if you have a pet groomer, you can buzz the backside of the stitches. Sometimes a seam ripper works fairly easily. Go through the white bobbin threads on the backside. If it's washable, washing and drying often seals up the holes. If it's not, a hair dryer on warm can sometimes seal them in vinyl. Or an embroidery place can make you a patch. (If you want to try to salvage the item.)

[lalasmama]

I wouldn't point out the mistake. Just thank her for the thoughtful gift.

DD's birth mom spelled DD's name in a non-traditional way (ending in "ee" instead of "ie" or "y"). We received many things spelled wrong, and I just explained to DD that it's the thought that counts, and it's hard for people to remember the spelling of non-traditionally-spelled names. ... In our case, when we adopted DD, we gave her a traditional spelling of a traditional name, and then gave her a simple last name no one can spell correctly, lol!

[mackmama]

I have a similar issue with my own name and received (and still receive) misspelled things. I wouldn't point it out. Just write the correct spelling in the thank you card. Example: "Many thanks, Susan (you) and Marc (son)"

[Chitowngirl]

The funny thing is that when we named my DS, neither my husband or I realized we had picked the uncommon spelling. We saw it on a baby list and liked it. It was only after he was born that we realized. I've even had people ask "why did you choose a "k"". Ummmm - cause I wanted too...

This friend is a college roommate. So, used to be super close but rarely speak anymore due to busy lives, distance, ect. I do think there is a fair chance she will send another monogrammed gift cause that's sort of her "thing" if you know what I mean.

Thanks for the advice on how to salvage the gift. I hadn't thought of them. It was a PBK duffel bag. I really like it. I think I will see if we can get a patch so we can still use it.


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[klwa]

My name is one that people regularly misspell & I've gotten monogrammed items with my name incorrect. I agree with PP who said don't point out the misspelling, but sign the note with his name spelled correctly. Not that it'll change how they spell it the next time. It's never changed how people spell mine or DD1s name.

[egoldber]

Since it came from PBK, I would call them and see what can be done. This must happen a lot. Maybe they will even let you exchange it?

[HannaAddict]

Simple thank you and I don't think It is probably pottery barn's fault. Doesn't sound like a mistake but just misspelling on sender's behalf so I wouldn't try and return it or exchange it (they won't be reselling it). Sorry it was misspelled and hope you can still use it.


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[egoldber]

FYI, I didn't think it was their fault. But this must be a common problem, so they may have a process already in place where they may exchange it (if it was a gift) or you pay a small fee and they will re-monogram it. Also, it seems like they would be able to do a much more expert "repair" vs. a home repair. It doesn't hurt to check with them. If it were an Etsy type thing, I wouldn't have even thought about it. But we had something similar happen with a personalized item from LLBean and they fixed it, but all they had to do was add a missing letter.

[123LuckyMom]

FYI, I didn't think it was their fault. But this must be a common problem, so they may have a process already in place where they may exchange it (if it was a gift) or you pay a small fee and they will re-monogram it. Also, it seems like they would be able to do a much more expert "repair" vs. a home repair. It doesn't hurt to check with them. If it were an Etsy type thing, I wouldn't have even thought about it. But we had something similar happen with a personalized item from LLBean and they fixed it, but all they had to do was add a missing letter.

I agree that it's worth checking with the company to see if they can change it. Often companies will allow gift returns for store credit even on monogrammed items, so they will probably do an exchange. I would definitely check before trying to fix the item yourself. If the store can correct it, it gives you a really good opportunity to include in the thank you note that the company was willing to correct its spelling mistake. Of course, it wasn't the company's mistake, but your friend might remember to spell the name correctly going forward if you can include that information. If not, I agree to just send the thank you note with his name spelled correctly at least three times. It probably won't help, but it's worth a shot. I have an unusual name that is often misspelled. It makes me a little nuts when people respond to an email, for example, where my name is RIGHT THERE in front of them, yet they still misspell. I even had a teacher in high school who pronounced my name incorrectly even in conversations with my own mother! I guess he felt my mother was wrong about the pronunciation of my name! There's only so much you can do, but I would at least try to fix the duffel bag AND let your friend know the correct spelling by spelling his name yourself. I would only refer to the mistake, though, if you can tell her the situation was corrected and blame the mistake on the company. Otherwise she'll feel bad, and that's not the point of a thank you note.


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