Your vote for funeral attire

[MelissaTC]

I wore a pair of black dress pants and a dressy sweater with flats to the last cold weather funeral I attended. I also wore my nicest wool coat since it was pretty cold at the cemetery.

I went to a wake this summer and everyone was dressed up. My husband wore a suit and so did most of the men there. I wore a black skirt, dark top and flats. Most of the women were in dresses or skirts but very few heels. This group was predominantly Catholic (many knew the deceased through a Catholic fraternal organization) and are typically more formal in general.

[specialp]

I try to avoid wearing heels to funerals because we often accompany the remains to the cemetery where everyone a)stands and b)sinks into mud or grass.

Agreed. I never wear heels unless they are chunky. I did, one time, to DH's grandfather's funeral and I was fine walking tiptoe across, but as soon as I had to stay still I would sink and get stuck.

I think every funeral I've ever been to has had a mix of more formal and more casual enough that nobody stood out.

[gymnbomb]

I would wear a dress or skirt if it was warm, and nice pants (probably black trousers) and top or a pants suit if it was cold. I would wear either flats or very small heels because heels and I do not get along. But I think either of those choices would be appropriate year round.

[SnuggleBuggles]

It never even occurred to me that we might be outside for a burial. Maybe due to time of year, maybe just forgetting on my part. The only graveside services I've been to have been for my grandparents and my father-in-law. I would have thought dressy boots would have been a popular choice at the funeral, for fashion and practicality, but no one was wearing them.

I feel like flats might be dressier than even dressy boots. Boots change the look of an outfit, flats just kind of blend.


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[jren]

I don't remember what I wore at my dad's funeral, nor what anyone else wore. Just being there for support is enough. We stood beside the casket at the wake for over 5 hours as a steady stream of visitors came through. It was pouring outside and there was a line around the block to get in. I would agree no heels!


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[jren]

Another thought is the unexpected nature of the death. When we flew in from out of town the night of the accident, we didn't pack planning on a funeral. Had no idea of extent of injuries, etc. After 8 days in an ICU waiting room with minimal sleep and wearing the same clothes (since we had no idea we'd be there that long), we then had to go shopping for funeral attire. I may have worn pants. I don't know. We just grabbed what we could find. My dad was a prominent figure in his small town and many came in work boots and work clothes because that's all they had. I wouldn't judge.


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[minnie-zb]

The last funeral I went to was about 5 years ago, it was in the winter and it was for my grandmother. I know I wore black slacks and flats for the same reasons other people mentioned -- I didn't want to sick into the grass. As far as what the guests wore? It was a mixed bag, but it didn't even register, I was just happy to see them and appreciated people attending.

And, I lie. That wasn't my last funeral. My last funeral was for a little girl who passed away from cancer. There was a huge attendance and it was a very mixed assortment of attire. Many of her close friends wore her favorite color at the request of the mom. I wore a dress and cardigan, but did not go all black as it just didn't seem appropriate for this little girl.

[gamma]

Unfortunately, I have been to 3 funerals lately. Two were for very young people with young children, the other was 92, all family members. I live in North Jersey, near NYC. During the funerals which I have attended, the family all wore black dresses, black dress pants with dressy tops, men in suits. Funeral visitation hours have changed recently. Traditionally, visitation was from 2-4 and 7-9pm, giving a break for dinner and to rest your feet! In our area, that has changed to 3-8pm or 4-8pm straight through, so many hours on your feet and no time to eat. At one funeral, we had the elderly and young children eating in vehicles in the parking lot, since the hours went straight through dinner. So, I think the choice of flatter heeled shoes has changed for this reason and so not to sink in the dirt in the cemetery.

[lizzywednesday]

I've worn a dress/skirt to every funeral I've ever attended or sung at regardless of the weather. I've worn heels more often than not, simply because I don't have dress flats.

It was absolutely frigid for the last two - one in February 2009, the other in December 2013. I only attended the graveside service for one, though.

[abh5e8]

Like Lizzywed, I've worn heels, black dress or black skirt/sweater if nursing and dh wears his black suit, to every funeral I've been to. Wedges for a long visitation and a black dress coat to keep warm.