Husband wants a dog; I do not

[azzeps]

DH and I are at an impasse. He wants to get a dog, and I really don't want the extra responsibility. I have trouble keeping up with all my other responsibilities - the house (almost always a wreck), the kids, work, laundry, dishes, the list goes on and on. He isn't able to help around the house as much as I need because he has back problems. So most of this is on me. He also suffers from anxiety/depression, so he thinks a dog will help him with that. I just don't know. He travels for work a lot, so I couldn't just say that the dog was his to manage. He wants to get on a wait list for a Cavapoo puppy, and I told him we needed to take care of all the credit card debt first, before we add another financial responsibility to our plate. I know there would be some nice things about having a dog, even though I'm not a "dog person" I don't hate them or anything. Just not my thing. He just left in a huff because he really, really wants this. Am I right to stand my ground? Or am I making more out of puppy raising and dog ownership than I should be?

[SnuggleBuggles]

My friend strung her kids along for 2 years by offering to dog sit for friends. They hosted different dogs for weekends to make sure everyone pitched in. They eventually started having the dogs for 1-2 week stints. Could you do that?


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[georgiegirl]

No dog. Stand your ground. I'm sorry he's putting so much pressure on you. Sounds like you would be the main person responsible for the dog, and it's unfair to get a dog without your consent and blessing. I haven't had a dog as an adult, but I know several people who have recently added a puppy to their homes and everyone says it's a lot of work...a lot.


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[azzeps]

Hmmm, that's an interesting idea... my best friend has two dogs (one grown and one a puppy).... maybe we could dog-sit for her when she travels for work.

[azzeps]

No dog. Stand your ground. I'm sorry he's putting so much pressure on you. Sounds like you would be the main person responsible for the dog, and it's unfair to get a dog without your consent and blessing. I haven't had a dog as an adult, but I know several people who have recently added a puppy to their homes and everyone says it's a lot of work...a lot.


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Yes, this is what I'm hearing - that puppies are a lot of work, and he is gone a lot. What would I do with the puppy when I have to leave the house for work (8:00-2:30)???

[smilequeen]

You will end up doing most of the work, so you have to want the dog too.

There is a lot of return on the work you have to put in. That dog will love you possibly more than anyone else in the house. I'm the alpha to the dogs...they adore me. They drive me nuts but I get lots of doggie snuggles and it's an excuse to get out and take a walk when I'd rather sit down and veg.

I think dog sitting would be a great intro. AND...if you decide to get a dog, I'd adopt an older already potty trained dog instead of a puppy. Having a puppy is like having a newborn. You REALLY REALLY have to want that.

[doberbrat]

There IS alot of return on the work with dogs.... that being said, if you dont want one, do NOT get one. ESP a puppy. A small dog will live 15-20yrs. thats a LONG time to be annoyed with something.

A puppy is exactly like having a newborn. Right down to the fact that they do not sleep through the night. You have to be around to feed it (3-4x a day for a small puppy) When its more grown up, you will still have to feed it 2x a day, groom it daily, walk it multiple times a day (a dog that small can be a potential snack for a hawk) and clean up the yard from it. Food is expensive and vet bills can be huge.

I love them but even I get annoyed at the work.

DEFINITELY dog sit if you can to get a feel for it..... and make sure your dh is around to do the work.

ETA: You might even consider being a foster home for a dog/puppy that way if/when it doesnt work out, you can send it on its way with a clear concience.

[mom2binsd]

Nope, nope, nope.

I think he's using the anxiety/depression to guilt you. Is he looking at other means to cope with these????

If he can't help you to keep on top of all the regular household chores, why is it fair to add a dog (and yes they are a lot of work). Your kids aren't quite old enough to take a dog for walks yet are they? Who picks up the poop? What about when you go away for a week vacation (boarding isn't cheap). So many things to think about and it certainly sounds like you have enough on your plate.

Financially, they can be expensive, talk to anyone who has paid a vet bill lately. A dog is a luxury item and if you have debt, take care of that first.

If and when your whole family is ready, I'd also look at the local rescue's, there are so many amazing animals available locally, and you can get a dog past the puppy stage.

[Liziz]

Add me to the chorus! Stand your ground. Especially in this case where most of the work will fall on you. Dogs are a lot of work. We have two and I love them, but it can be hard many a day to make sure they are well cared for (good walks, etc.) while also juggling my kids and everything else. I love having our dogs, but it only works for our family because DH and I are BOTH fully committed to it and BOTH participate fully in their care. I think the fostering or dog sitting are great ideas as a place to start (or stay!)

[twowhat?]

Stand your ground!!!! We love dogs and our house will always have one (or two) but only because everyone is on the same page! And I'm sorry but paying for a cavapoo when there is credit card debt? Why not pay less than $100 to get a perfectly nice dog from a shelter?

Anyway, I like some of the PP ideas to dog-sit - maybe that will make him realize how much work they are and how it would fall all on you because of his back problems.