Should I go? How much money will it take?

[bisous]

My sister is getting married in a totally private ceremony in a month or two. But she's having two receptions in the summer time and DH and I are invited to attend either. One is in Vancouver. This is the one most of our family will attend. The only problem is that DH can't go due to a commitment at Scout Camp and I have almost nobody in town to watch my kids. My family will be in Vancouver and DH's family will all be traveling. I may be able to make this one work if I get tickets that get as close to the time of the reception as possible. This will not be too expensive to afford. It will cost me just the cost of the flight and possibly an evening stay at a hotel. I haven't ruled attending in Vancouver out, it is just getting more complicated by the day!

The second reception is at a much better time...but it is in Switzerland. Her fiance is Swiss. DH and I have been wanting to take a big trip and we've been setting aside some miles and some money with thoughts that when it was really and truly the right time financially we'd go but we were really trying to make it happen. We're wondering if we should seize this opportunity to go to Europe! I think the fact that it will be a family event makes it more appealing but my mom disagrees. DH is totally in but he's terrible about money and not thinking of that consideration at all. We'd be all set for childcare. All of our family should be around that weekend. Even my parents aren't going because it is too expensive for them (they don't prioritize travel).

Which leads me to my next question. How much do you think it will cost? It would be the cost of two flights to Switzerland (we have 70,000 miles and I don't think that's enough but I haven't checked), plus possibly lodging plus possibly Inter-European travel once we get there. We don't mind being cheap but we don't want to be the pitied poor relations though that make people feel bad, lol. We want to be self-sufficient but we're fine with budget accommodations and eating sandwiches for every meal.

We wouldn't go unless we could pay for it all without going into debt. It makes me want to work really hard to get there! At the same time, I feel some guilt because there are other things that are more practical for us to spend that money on. We are doing really well at paying down our school debt but we could definitely build up our savings and we dream of saving for a down payment on a house but haven't saved one penny towards that. I'm also taking a trip in October to the DC area with DS1 to do a big tour of important American History and government sites. My sister predicts that that will cost us less than $1000 and I have $450 saved. So there is also that!

WWYD?

WWYD?

[AnnieW625]

I would plan on going to Vancouver and would save Switzerland for another time when you are both able to go without debt. I am sure your sister and her fiancé will understand. If the wedding were in Switzerland then I would go because I wouldn't miss (my sister's) wedding for anything even if i had to put myself in debt to do it (using a 0% interest card for 24 months to pay it off).

I hate to be the buzz kill, but imho paying off school loans is more important than vacation, and I would rather take my kids on a school related trip at this age vs. leaving them at home to go to Europe with DH (but we are the type that take our kids with us everywhere....our last true weekend away was in 2008; but that doesn't bother us)


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[bisous]

Thanks Annie. I appreciate your perspective. Yes, if it were a wedding I'd feel differently about it! The Vancouver solution is possible, just tricky.

I do like to go on vacations with my DH but not at the expense of vacations with my kids. DS1 and I are heading to DC in October and we're almost there with funds! Just waiting for my tax rebate.

This extra trip, I'm just not sure how to think of it. Part of me thinks that if I don't go now I never will. ANother part wants to save. Still, I'm not sure how much it will ultimately cost us. I'm thinking maybe 2-3 grand? That seems like so much for a vacation, a non-necessary expense and yet so, so little for savings in a place like California. That you understand I'm sure!

[SnuggleBuggles]

You only live once. Splurge a little. Just be thoughtful with paying it off. Some experiences are just worth it and come before you might be totally ready for them.


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[smilequeen]

How long would you be in Switzerland? It sounds like only a weekend, which would be a big huge NO on spending the money for that short of a trip. I'd save up for a REAL European vacation. If it's longer, that changes my answer if you really can pay for it.

I'd just go to Vancouver. I'm assuming kids are not invited? And that if you took the kids, your oldest would not be able to babysit at the hotel for the reception time? Vancouver would make a decent weekend trip with a few cool things to do with the kids (like the aquarium and a trip to Victoria...those were our favorites).

[mmsmom]

70,000 miles will get you one ticket. (They are usually 60,000 miles). I would plan on the ticket you buy being around $1000. Cheap Hotel $100-150/night. If you are in one place an Air BnB may be slightly less. For food I would calculate what you spend here but plan on it being more expensive there. You can look up train cost and also think about things like museum admission, subway/bus fare, etc.

Personally It does not sound enjoyable to me to go on a trip where I would worry about every expense. It's just not the way I like to travel. It doesn't have to be fancy but I don't think traveling all that way to sit in a hotel eating sandwiches is worth it.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Personally It does not sound enjoyable to me to go on a trip where I would worry about every expense. It's just not the way I like to travel. It doesn't have to be fancy but I don't think traveling all that way to sit in a hotel eating sandwiches is worth it.

yes, this, exactly! I love to travel but would not go if I had to worry so much about what I was spending.

I didn't quite get from the OP, are both weddings no-kids weddings? If it were me, i just would go to the one in Vancouver and I would tell DH to say he couldn't go to the Scouting thing..sorry, but IMO a wedding of close family member trumps that sort of thing (I would not let something like that prevent me from going to the wedding of DH' s sister, if he had one). Though if it's a no-kids wedding I can see how that would make it really hard if you had no one to watch all your DC that weekend.

[SnuggleBuggles]

yes, this, exactly! I love to travel but would not go if I had to worry so much about what I was spending.

I didn't quite get from the OP, are both weddings no-kids weddings? If it were me, i just would go to the one in Vancouver and I would tell DH to say he couldn't go to the Scouting thing..sorry, but IMO a wedding of close family member trumps that sort of thing (I would not let something like that prevent me from going to the wedding of DH' s sister, if he had one). Though if it's a no-kids wedding I can see how that would make it really hard if you had no one to watch all your DC that weekend.

I skimmed too quickly and missed the eating sandwiches bit. Yeah, if you really can't afford it to that extreme AND it would be a very short trip, go to Vancouver instead. I think your dh can give enough notice to find a Scout replacement. But, since this is a family wedding, could you just go solo? I like the idea of bringing the kids and having ds1 babysit but I imagine if flying to Switzerland was too $$ then flying 5 people to Vancouver would be a concern as well.

[HannaAddict]

I doubt 70,000 miles will get you one ticket (or barely one) to Europe during the summer. Most air rewards for Europe are long gone. It will thousands to do Switzerland even on a budget. I would do Vancouver and plan out a European vacation in advance. Vancouver BC is a fun city with kids and the US dollar is strong right now. We love Vancouver. Sorry to put a damper on Switzerland this summer. Great place but expensive.
ETA There are good, background checked nanny services in Vancouver too and if had to attend an event for a couple of hours would do that. I know many on this board freak at the thought of "strangers" watching their kids but thought OP had older kids too and statistically kids are safer with a background checked nanny than a friend or family member.


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[bisous]

Just have a minute. Thank you to all your replies!

So a few things I wanted to mention. First, I don't think I'd be inclined to bring the kids to vancouver as that would great increase the cost of the excursion, although making it a family vacation makes that a lot more appealing.

I DEFINITELY think DH should just bail on the scout thing. He'd only have to go AT MOST one day late. As it is, he's planning on going two days early and that's why there is the problem with the date! This is a point of contention between us. He's in charge and planned this six months ago and he feels responsible. I don't think he'd feel the same if it was his sister!

Although we'd do Europe on a budget, and might eat only sandwiches, we'd plan it in such a way to get the absolute most out of it. We'd want to see things and experience museums, gardens, etc. I'm definitely thinking that it would be worthwhile to extend the trip to a week but I'm not sure how much we could afford. We do great, really affordable (but cheap) vacations in the US. I'm not sure how plausible that is in Europe because it is my understanding that lodging can be really expensive.