Should I go? How much money will it take?

[o_mom]

Just have a minute here but some things I want to clarify:

First, my sister and I are close but we aren't close to any of my parents extended family and they won't be there. We all live pretty close together except my sister in DC who comes here for all major holidays and my sister in TX who might not be able to be in Vancouver either.

Second, my sister who is getting married does not like kids. She's perfectly kind to mine but I don't think she'd really want kids at her reception. So that's something I need to think about if I go there.

Third, I don't think I'd mind driving to Vancouver if I had the time and if I had DH with me. I don't think we could do the drive straight, we'd need to break it up a little bit and I'm a little nervous about doing that alone. Plus, while DH does have some vacation time that he can use, he'll be using two weeks in a row to attend Scout Camp and then for our already planned family vacation the week immediately after. He probably could get the time but I can see him balking at the idea of taking the whole family. I don't know, it still sounds fun to me.

Fourth, I feel like a brat complaining about not traveling. I've done a lot in my life and I have a vacation almost every year. It isn't Switzerland but it is fun. I do think I need to be practical at some point. Going to Switzerland sounds fun to me because it seems like getting know the people that are close to my future BIL sounds like an experience I'll never be able to replicate. But the bottom line is that I don't NEED to go but I do NEED to start saving. It is hard to say!

I think I might just run the numbers and scenarios. I want to see the cost of a flight to Vancouver and how close I can time it, run the estimate of the gas and lodging if we did it as a family vacation, see if any flights can be obtained for Switzerland with miles, play with Air BnB, talk to my sister about the plans, see if DH can take vacation, etc.

There is still a lot up in the air but I appreciate all the ideas and thoughts.

Given all of this - I would see if you can make a solo trip to Vancouver. Save Europe for when you have saved enough to make a proper vacation out of it.

Maybe DH can manage going on the day camp starts and arranging one day/night of childcare for the kids?

[abh5e8]

You said you won't go if you have to go into debt, but with student loans, you ARE in debt. I would pay off debts first before a European vacation.

[bisous]

You said you won't go if you have to go into debt, but with student loans, you ARE in debt. I would pay off debts first before a European vacation.

Our debts are higher than mortgages in many states...

[jgenie]

I would do the solo trip to Vancouver if you can swing it. You can't afford the trip to Switzerland even if you try to do it on a budget. If you think you need time away with your DH, you can plan something nearby that will better fit your budget.

[bisous]

I think I figured out a solution. We will have our federal student loans paid off in about a year and a half. After that, while we'll still owe a lot, our monthly payment will be less than half and I feel like that feels like something we can celebrate. That sounds like a better plan for Europe. If we plan for it and we save aggressively (like we would have for the summer but we'll have longer) then I'll feel much better about it. I'm still sad we'll miss out on the celebration but oh well. I just can't rationalize going.

Of course, I'm still stuck with nobody to watch my kids if I do Vancouver. Sigh.

I just found out that DH's parents will be at a large cabin in SLC the week before and that they invited us to join them but DH declined without even talking to me. I'm wondering if a roadtrip to Utah (12 hours and doable in a day, plus I'm super familiar with the drive as I used to attend school nearby) is possible. We could do a little mini-vacation and then I can fly from SLC to Vancouver and the kids can stay with the grandparents....But then what would I do with DS1 (who needs to leave for Scout Camp). So complicated!

[Liziz]

I think I figured out a solution. We will have our federal student loans paid off in about a year and a half. After that, while we'll still owe a lot, our monthly payment will be less than half and I feel like that feels like something we can celebrate. That sounds like a better plan for Europe. If we plan for it and we save aggressively (like we would have for the summer but we'll have longer) then I'll feel much better about it. I'm still sad we'll miss out on the celebration but oh well. I just can't rationalize going.

Of course, I'm still stuck with nobody to watch my kids if I do Vancouver. Sigh.

I just found out that DH's parents will be at a large cabin in SLC the week before and that they invited us to join them but DH declined without even talking to me. I'm wondering if a roadtrip to Utah (12 hours and doable in a day, plus I'm super familiar with the drive as I used to attend school nearby) is possible. We could do a little mini-vacation and then I can fly from SLC to Vancouver and the kids can stay with the grandparents....But then what would I do with DS1 (who needs to leave for Scout Camp). So complicated!

I think your plan for the European vacation is a great one! You will have much more time to save and I think you'll enjoy the trip and stress about money a lot more. And this way you get even longer to look forward to the trip! You'll also be able to customize more to the exact parts of Europe you care about the most.

I think your SLC trip idea is a pretty good one! Can't your DS1 just stay with your DH the whole time (like go early with DH if he insists on going early?) for scout camp? I do understand that if this camp is a major big deal and your DH is an organizer it's hard for him to just drop it, even for a family wedding....but it's not fair for you to go through these massive hurdles to accommodate kids going multiple directions by yourself just so you can attend your sister's wedding, either.

ETA: Oh, and for the people saying "no vacations until school loans are paid off" -- I'm normally in the camp of "get rid of debt before big trips" too for sure, but in this case as long as it's done responsibly (i.e. - vacation is being funded from alternate means while you continue to pay down your loan each month as usual) I think you should do it. It sounds like you have massive loan debt, and to pay it off entirely is a LONG way in the future....to me, you also need to find ways to enjoy the present or you get too dragged down and the debt can just take over your life. If we were talking about credit card debt or something that's a different story.

[bisous]

ETA: Oh, and for the people saying "no vacations until school loans are paid off" -- I'm normally in the camp of "get rid of debt before big trips" too for sure, but in this case as long as it's done responsibly (i.e. - vacation is being funded from alternate means while you continue to pay down your loan each month as usual) I think you should do it. It sounds like you have massive loan debt, and to pay it off entirely is a LONG way in the future....to me, you also need to find ways to enjoy the present or you get too dragged down and the debt can just take over your life. If we were talking about credit card debt or something that's a different story.

Thank you. I feel like this plan could work. And I really love what you said above because that's where we are right now. Our spending right now is a little bit more than how it was when we were in school and REALLY poor and trying to keep costs down. I try to keep a moderate approach and spend a small but sensible amount for fun money. Part of it is that we have kids who will be grown and I want them to have some experiences and some things that won't benefit them at all if we wait. It is hard to be moderate though, so occasionally DH and I both need to just reflect on the effects of our spending and rein it in a little bit. Getting advice here is the best!