how to tell DS about changing to different school?

[DualvansMommy]

I'll preface this by saying I KNOW i am overthinking this too much. Still want your feedback on suggestions in sharing the news to DS1 he'll be attending different school this Fall as a 1st grader, instead of continuing on at his current private school.

The new school is literally around the corner from me, and he'll remain there as a student through 3rd grade before changing to different school across town for later grades. DS1 will get to ride in the school bus (something he always wanted to do but couldn't with his current school cuz too far out to be eligible for it)

How to frame the conversation in such a way to make DS1 feel excited about the new change vs over something to be anxious over? also, DH and i can't seem to agree on the timing to share the news; he feels it's better for DS1 to be aware of it not long after his current school finishes up for the summer (June 7th in our case) DH thinks it'll be good for him to feel included early on, as DS1 is the type that likes to KNOW what is going on, be given plenty of notice and not dropped with the news suddenly.

i feel it's better to tell him sometime around early August cuz by then he'll already have had his 5-6 weeks of rec camp in our town where all of those campers attend the same new school he's going this fall. This way, during the news, i can spin it by saying you can get to go the new school with "James from camp" etc. Also, It's enough time to be aware of the news and think about it without dwelling on it ALL summer long. DS1 won't start his first day till after Labor weekend so that's still a good 4 weeks of time if we tell him in early August vs early June.

TIA!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Can he go on a visit now?


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[Philly Mom]

I would tell him now and build it up especially if there is a spring open house. We are moving our kid for 1st as is half her class. We are moving our 3 yo too. They both know. The 3yo expressed some anxiety so I changed the subject. Talking up the school bus is huge. Talking about neighbors going to same school has helped. We have also done play dates with future school mates.


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[niccig]

We told DS before end of the school year so he could say goodbye to the teachers. He was a 2nd grader and had been at the school since pre-k. We talked about making friends locally, went to the Spring Open House at the new school so he was familiar with the campus. He knew some kids from soccer and baseball so that helped as he saw some of them at the Open House and 2 of them were in his 3rd grade class.


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[KpbS]

I would tell him the next to last week of school so he can say goodbye to his classmates and teachers. He won't be the only one changing, kids change schools, move away, etc. all the time. Also by telling before summer camp, he can invest more in those friendships of future classmates on the front end.

I wouldn't have a problem with telling him now either--esp if there is an open house or you want him to go and shadow for a day (also a good option).

[essnce629]

Yes, I would definitely tell him before the end of this school year so he can say goodbye to friends and teachers.

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[JElaineB]

Frankly, I would just tell him now. Don't make it a big deal, just slip it into conversation, and talk about it casually when the opportunity arises. Then it becomes a family "story" that he can tell so at the end of the school year he knows how to tell friends he won't see them at school next year.

[klwa]

I'm not quite sure how I would phrase it, so I'll leave that to others. However, I would say that he should know before school ends this year so he can say "goodbye" to his friends.

[DualvansMommy]

OP here; our open house at the new school isn't till this September, few days before his official first day.

I completely failed to think of that angle in telling DS1 BEFORE his current year ends, so he could say his byes to friends. Ugh, I was so wrapped up in the TELLING aspect of this. I do definitely want him to have his opportunity to do that, in fact there is a fun kindergarten picnic day before his last day at a nearby park near the school. I think that'll be the perfect setting to do his goodbyes, cuz the actual last day is probably hectic.

That answers my question on the when then!


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[rin]

I would definitely tell him now. I think it would be awful to have that news sprung at the end of the summer, especially to find out that your parents had known all summer long and had let you leave school without saying goodbye to friends, etc. Particularly given what you describe about your DS's personality, I think he'll be much happier with you telling him now.

As far as how to play it, I'd just play up the bus aspect, the fact that he'll meet a lot of the same kids at the rec camp, and that he can stay in touch with his old friends through playdates etc. Kids have to move schools all the time and (at least in our area) a lot of kids move after kindergarten, I'd be surprised if there weren't a few kids in his class doing the same thing!