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  1. #1
    flashy09 is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Default Fertility in late 30's

    So DH and I went out last night, had some wine, and for the first time since DD2 was born had a unprotected night of "passion"....and it was day 14. I am not sure how I am feeling about this today! We are not trying for a 3rd, but it's been floating around my mind a little, although I am unsure if it's just nostalgia seeing my kids grow up or if I actually want to start over. Last night apparently starting over was fine, now I am a little freaked out!

    Anyway, I got pregnant first try with DD2, she was truly a one shot wonder. I was 34. Now I have just turned 39 - how much difference does that make? It's a 4 yr difference ( I was almost 35 with DD2). Are my chances quite low? My greatest fear about having a third is that I am messing with a good thing - two healthy kids, healthy mother. I am scared of something going terribly wrong during delivery for some reason. I have big babies, especially for my size, I am 5'3 100 lbs and my kids were 7.13 and 8.11 with vacuum delivery on #1 and a bit of shoulder dystocia on #2.

    Just trying to figure how excited/nervous I should be over the next two weeks! DD2 is screaming in timeout right now and I am more on the nervous side!
    DD1 9 yrs old 12/2011
    DD2 7 yrs old 01/2014

  2. #2
    SnuggleBuggles is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    I know plenty of people that got pregnant in their late 30s. Get an IUD so you can always be spontaneous.
    Good luck!!!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  3. #3
    jgenie is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Default Fertility in late 30's

    I was 36 with DS1 and 38 with DS2. DS2 was a one shot wonder. Hope it goes the way you want.


    Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains

  4. #4
    doberbrat is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles View Post
    I know plenty of people that got pregnant in their late 30s. Get an IUD so you can always be spontaneous.
    This except I know plenty of people who got pregnant in their mid 40s even .... If the thought of freaks you out, you can get a morning after pill .... I think you have 72h to do it thought the sooner you get it the better.

    Of course, many many women have to try for months to get pg so 1 time is not a guarantee or anything. it will work out as its supposed to.

    and ditto on the IUD. best thing I ever did for myself
    dd1 10/05
    dd2 11/09
    and ... a mini poodle!

  5. #5
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    I got pregnant with #3 at 38/39 on my third month. It was the first try with #2 when I was 34/35.
    DD (3/06)
    DS1 (7/09)
    DS2 (8/13)

  6. #6
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    Yeah, I had my oops baby at 39. 6 years younger than my middle, 9 years younger than my oldest. It was definitely a mindshift, we had to start all over with all the baby stuff. Now my two oldest are in college and she is starting 7th grade. On the one hand, we could be empty nesters now, and on the other hand we adore her and she keeps us young!

    I hope it all works out for the best for you!
    Last edited by pinkmomagain; 09-17-2017 at 09:21 PM.
    DD1 - 1996
    DD2 - 1999
    DD3 - 2005

    Surfaces are for working, not for storing. - Peter Walsh

  7. #7
    Simon is offline Ruby level (4000+ posts)
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    I don't think you would be out of place to feel worried/nervous/excited. 2/3 of my kids were one-shot wonders. In my late 30s, we played a bit fast and loose with BC because we were not wanting to "try" but were not totally opposed to adding one more to our family. Given my history and the results, I think my fertility really did drop off. Once I decided I really did not want to start over with the baby stage, I got an IUD.
    Ds1 (2006). Ds2 (2010). Ds3 (2012).

  8. #8
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    I would not be particularly concerned. I mean, even a couple with normal fertility can take up to a year to conceive TRYING to get pregnant and it's still considered normal.

    That being said, one of my very good friends had had multiple IVF's, etc. and had given up on conceiving again when she turned 40...the next month she got pregnant, completely on their own.

  9. #9
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    JBaxter is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Baby 3 at 35 had unprotected sex for a month. Baby I miscarried we had unprotected sex for a couple weeks at 38. Baby 4 we didn't use any protection after the m/c and I got pregnant at 40
    Jeana, Momma to 4 fantastic sons

    Everything happens for a reason, sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions

  10. #10
    acmom is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkmomagain View Post
    Yeah, I had my oops baby at 39. 6 years younger than my middle, 9 years younger than my oldest. It was definitely a mindshift, we had to start all over with all the baby stuff. Now my two oldest are in college and she is starting 7th grade. On the one hand, we could be empty nesters now, and on the other hand we adore her and she keeps us young!

    I hope it all works out for the best for you!
    My oops baby was at 39 too - definitely a one shot wonder, and at a time we thought we were in the clear!
    My older 2 were 6 and almost 8 when she was born. We had always thought about #3 but could never convince ourselves to go for it bc of all my bad pregnancy history. I was a wreck at first when I found out I was pregnant...so worried about both how the pregnancy would go and baby would do, but also about the change for our family. But shortly there after, we realized it was truly a blessing for us and meant to be. We love her to pieces and it truly feels like she completes our family.

    Hope things work out for whatever is best for you and your family!

    ETA: Of my 4 pregnancies, 3 were one shot wonders, so we shouldn't have been so surprised I guess...
    Last edited by acmom; 09-17-2017 at 09:49 PM.

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