Fertility in late 30's

[KpbS]

My pregnancy in my early thirties was the same as my one in my late thirties. My OB said most of his patients had no increased complications whatsoever post 35. I love having 3. If I could go back in time and start earlier I would have had more most likely.

[ourbabygirl]

I definitely felt older the third time around, but #3 has been a complete joy and blessing.

[ilfaith]

Tried to get pregnant for two years before conceiving DS1. Took two months of TTC for DS2. DS3 was kind of an oops...and born a month before my 40th birthday. I could easily pinpoint when DS3 was conceived, because DH was traveling for work all that month...except for that one night. I call him the "bonus baby."

[dogmom]

The general rule is fertility drops by half by age 35, down to around 20% by age 40, and off a cliff after 45. Your partner's fertility also drops, but not as fast. Additionally, risks for adverse pregnancy related outcomes climb markedly with age, and I don't just mean things like premature birth. I mean bad outcomes for the mother. I think it is equally important for women to choose highly effective birth control as they age as when they are very young. I think it's easy to say, "Well, it's unlikely I will get pregnant, but if I do I'm sure we can make it work." Most married women I know would not choose to terminate an unplanned pregnancy, but I don't think people think through every thing that can happen. I've had two people I work with have to go through the agonizing choice of being told they had unplanned later in life pregnancies that had trisomy 18 and the babies would never survive and what to do about it. I've seen women go through life threatening complications of pregnancy, some left permanent disabilities, some died. These outcomes effects the entire family, not just the women, which is why it's called family planning. Our society tends to romanticize the pregnancy/mother/baby thing and not talk about the unpleasant stuff. In chose the Mirena for a while after 40 and my last child, then after 45 I had tubal ligation. It wasn't like I was thrilled with it, it did bring up emotions. But I knew, if I was honest, I wanted no more children and I felt it was irresponsible to have me and my family exposed to that risk.

[JBaxter]

OP why doesn't your DH have a vasectomy if you are done with your family? Then you get to have unprotected sex all you want

[acmom]

My pregnancy in my early thirties was the same as my one in my late thirties. My OB said most of his patients had no increased complications whatsoever post 35. I love having 3. If I could go back in time and start earlier I would have had more most likely.

Me too!

[dogmom]

My pregnancy in my early thirties was the same as my one in my late thirties. My OB said most of his patients had no increased complications whatsoever post 35. I love having 3. If I could go back in time and start earlier I would have had more most likely.

That's lovely your OB thinks that and once a woman comes in pregnant I get it, why freak her out. But the reality is complications, including serious complications, go up for both mom and baby. I feel like we love to stick our head in our sand about this stuff in our culture. The women and know that had issues have all felt completely unprepared and feel like they are the ONLY ones that have ever gone through it, which just isn't true. After 40 is a huge difference. I think it's like decrease in fertility as you age. I don't think it should be the overriding decision, for example I need to find a husband right now and have kids right away because I just turned 30. But I think people need to be realistic and not look at 49 yo celebrities having babies and think, Oh, it's fine.

[pinkmomagain]

OP why doesn't your DH have a vasectomy if you are done with your family? Then you get to have unprotected sex all you want

In her original post she said that she had been floating around the idea of a 3rd and she was both excited and nervous about the possibility of being pregnant. So it sounds as if the decision to be done with the family was not fully made.

[jren]

Just wishing you the best with whatever outcome OP. As someone who struggled with infertility, I know that chances of PG decrease rapidly at 35, but it sounds like you're starting out at a higher fertility rate. I have known women who've had perfectly healthy babies in their 40s and women who've had babies born with chromosomal issues in their 20s.


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[speo]

I have tried and gotten pregnant 4 times on the first month trying. The pregnancies at age 29 and 31 ended with my boys. And the ones at ages 40 and 41 ended as miscarriages at 10 weeks due to chromosomal abnormalities. So for me my chances of getting pregnant didn't change, but my chances of giving birth did. We stopped trying after the 2 because it was just too difficult and I didn't want to continue with the obvious increase in chances of genetic abnormalities. Good luck with whatever you decide.