DS2 was diagnosed last week by private Dr. as having ASD and ADHD. We've also been pursuing the school assessments, and have the first IEP meeting at school next week. We haven't notified the school yet of the diagnoses. We also haven't yet told DS2 his diagnoses, but he's told me a few times that he's been visiting the school psychologist office during the day. The IEP paperwork says we may bring DS2 to the meeting, but I'm not sure if we should. He's 8, in 3rd grade, and he only knows we've been meeting doctors and the school to help him "not get in trouble at school anymore". I don't want him to feel we're talking over him, nor that we're vilifying him. Did you take your DC to first meeting?