My Turn for an IL Vent

[PZMommy]

My in laws pretty much pay no attention to my kids. Ironically, my boys are the only ones to carry on the family last name. All the other grandkids are in college or teenagers. Their excuse isn’t that we live too far away (15 minutes compared to the rest of their kids/grandkids that live 5 minutes away. They’ve never attended a birthday party, or even sent a birthday card, or any other important event. Every year we have to get together at Christmas Eve. Every year I sit and watch as presents are being passed out to grandkids, and my kids don’t get any from my inlaws. Usually my SIL gets them a nice gift, but she was sick this year and didn’t come. Therefore my kids got sit and watch everyone but them open presents. It really sucked!!! I have known for years how they play favorites, but my kids were pretty oblivious to it, until this year. My 8 yr old was polite, but my 6 year old has no filter and said, “why didn’t you get a present for us?” My inlaws had no response, but my 8 yr old said, “it’s okay because grandma and grandpa (referring to my parents who live across the country) sent us presents that we can open tomorrow.” My kids would have been happy with a hotwheel car from the 99 cents store. I just don’t understand how grandparents can show such blatant favoritism.

But the best part is, yesterday on Christmas Day, my MIL called DH to ask if there was a second card for them that might have been misplaced, because the Christmas card he gave them only had a gift card to a place they go to daily for coffee in it. My MIL and FIL always want cash for birthday, holidays, etc. My MIL thought maybe DH forgot to give them a second card that had cash in it.

My DH has spent years trying to make excuses for their behavior, but even he is getting to the point that he can’t justify their behavior any longer.

[petesgirl]

Wow. I hope your 6 yr old's question will give them a clue for next year! And how could they even ask that of your DH? I would have been tempted to say they could have their gift when they gave gifts to my kids.

[niccig]

Good for your 6 year old. Maybe his comment will shame them into behaving better.


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[sariana]

I'm so sorry your kids had to deal with that. I agree--good for your 6 year old for speaking up.

And your 8 year old is awesome and I want to be his best friend. What a great brother and genuinely good person to be able to find the positive like that.

[HannaAddict]

I’m so sorry. You don’t have to subject them to that treatment though. And there would be no more gift cards of any type if they seriously don’t get one set of grandkids presents. That really is awful.


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[trcy]

Good for your 6 year old. Maybe his comment will shame them into behaving better.


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ITA. DD (newly 7) would have said something similar. I would secretly want to high five her, lol.


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[BunnyBee]

Why would you make the kids sit through that? What awful people!

[Corie]

I would stop taking my kids to see the ILs on Christmas Eve. I just couldn't let my kids suffer through that behavior each year.
And, I would stop sending them a Christmas gift.

Life's too short.

[PZMommy]

Why would you make the kids sit through that? What awful people!

Believe me, I don’t go by choice. My DH keeps hoping his parents will get them a gift. Usually one of his sisters does get them a gift, so they have something to open. Then they are too busy opening/playing with that to notice. But since she was sick this year and not in attendance, there was nothing to distract them. I’m hoping to use this as leverage for next year. At the very least I will bring a small gift for each of them to open if need be.

My parents will be coming to visit next week, so they will get lots of love and attention from grandparents who actually care about them!

[PZMommy]

Double post