My IL vent

[basil]

DH's family comes every Christmas. Usually, his sister/BIL/nephew stay with us and his parents and brother stay in a hotel. I can't really take more house guests than that. This year, my brother/SIL/niece were set to be away in Europe for the time they were going to be here.

So MIL asked DH if they could stay at my brother's house instead of renting a hotel (he lives <1 mile from my house). The 3 night hotel stay wouldn't stretch their budget, but whatever. So I ask my brother, and he's pretty chill and pretty neat, but still has to spend a day cleaning his house for people he doesn't even know staying there. While also trying to get ready to travel to Europe with an 11 month old. But whatev.

So they get a complete VRBO for free. They have crib for my nephew and 2 queen beds, and I set the whole place up with an air mattress for my DH's brother, sheets, towels, blankets, food, etc.

Then, DH's sister says she would rather just stay with us (in a single guest room with a pack and play for their 22 month old). But I already offered our guest room for Christmas Eve to my 96 year old grandmother so she can spend Christmas Eve with us and not have to travel 1 hour each way to come back for Christmas Day. She is pissy about that. Again, whatev.

I tell them about the air mattress. They say that DH's brother is just going to stay in a hotel because they didn't realize we could provide an air mattress. So why are you staying at my brother's house anyway then?? Again, whatev.

Christmas comes. Somehow, unobserved by either me or DH, my 3 year old DD gets a giant bruise on top of her foot. She says MIL did it. MIL denies it. DH suspects MIL did it somehow intentionally in the 30 minutes or so she spent alone with DD and DS in our playroom out of sight. DD does NOT like MIL. NOT whatev. But DH and I don't know what more to do about this and figure on zero unsupervised time with his mother and our kids.

The day after Christmas MIL shows up wearing my brother's wife's boots. Who does that???

They leave and I go over to my brother's house to change his sheets, since I don't want him coming home exhausted from Europe to dirty sheets. They left a Hershey bar on the counter with a note saying "thanks for letting us stay here". And the peanut brittle that my mother gave them! With the tag removed! As if my brother wouldn't recognize his own mother's peanut brittle and figure out the regift!

There is so much more I could add to this story. But thank goodness they're gone and thank goodness they don't live closer.

[StantonHyde]

Oh dear God. I would have left several nice bottles of wine. As I said, my new mantra is "you just can't explain some people".

[hellokitty]

Ugh, they sound horrible. I've dealt with people like this, it doesn't matter what you do, they are going to be ungrateful and PITA. Consider this a lesson learned. Your brother was very nice to let them stay at his house for free, but it's still weird that they felt at liberty to ask him of such a big favor, esp if they don't know him well. Ick.

[MMMommy]

Wow. 😲😲😲 I'm speechless reading this. For MIL to even ask to use your brother's home is in and of itself quite the imposition. Then MIL wears your sister in law's boots????? Seriously? Boundaries. MIL seems to lack common courtesy and good judgment.

[California]

Did your SIL check to make sure she has all her clothes and boots? Sort of joking but kind of not joking, too! Sounds like your SIL learned her attitude straight from her mom. Save the peanut brittle and regift it to them on Mother's Day.

[Pear]

The situation with your brother’s house is awful, but I can’t believe that is the focus here. You think MIL intentionally injured your child?!?!? That needs a bigger response than not allowing unsupervised interactions.

[basil]

The situation with your brother’s house is awful, but I can’t believe that is the focus here. You think MIL intentionally injured your child?!?!? That needs a bigger response than not allowing unsupervised interactions.

But what? We only see them once a year at the holidays.

[Pear]

For assault, I would stop seeing them at all. I mean really think about it. You believe that this person is horrible enough to intentionally injure a 3yo. This isn’t a grey area where they do things differently because of generational differences.

[MMMommy]

Pear is right, I just realized I didn't even comment on the bruising! What did DD say about how MIL caused the bruise? She says that MIL did it, but did she clarify at all what or how?

[basil]

MIL abused DH when he was a child, so it's not really all that surprising. She did not like how DD didn't talk to her.

DD said MIL hurt her foot with the seesaw thing we have in the playroom. The bruise was pretty consistent with the seesaw landing on her foot but must have been a fair amount of weight on it. DH said it was similar to how she treated him as a child. Could have been an accident, never would be proven. I blame myself for not realizing she was alone up there