My IL vent

[jgenie]

MIL abused DH when he was a child, so it's not really all that surprising. She did not like how DD didn't talk to her.

DD said MIL hurt her foot with the seesaw thing we have in the playroom. The bruise was pretty consistent with the seesaw landing on her foot but must have been a fair amount of weight on it. DH said it was similar to how she treated him as a child. Could have been an accident, never would be proven. I blame myself for not realizing she was alone up there

I’m sorry but this wouldn’t fly in my house. I would not have my children in the company of a person they could not safely be alone with. As you’ve seen, it only takes a moment and you can’t undo what’s been done. I would cut off contact completely or at restrict to meals out at a restaurant where you can make a hasty exit if adult behaviors aren’t what they should be.

[basil]

I’m sorry but this wouldn’t fly in my house. I would not have my children in the company of a person they could not safely be alone with. As you’ve seen, it only takes a moment and you can’t undo what’s been done. I would cut off contact completely or at restrict to meals out at a restaurant where you can make a hasty exit if adult behaviors aren’t what they should be.

it's not really that easy. but that's why we only see his whole side of the family once a year, and another reason why they don't stay with us.

[jgenie]

it's not really that easy. but that's why we only see his whole side of the family once a year, and another reason why they don't stay with us.

Hugs to you. I know it’s always easier to offer advice from the sidelines.


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[Peaches Keane]

You might want to consider getting security cameras in place for when she is around. I really like our Arlo cameras.

I also wouldn't let them near the children, but that's easier said than done, sometimes.

[Pear]

I understand this is hard. I have family that I can trust for 30 minutes in another part of the house, but would never leave Dd with because I need to be around to be sure there is no drinking. I don’t think these family members really are fully aware of all the restrictions we have placed, but they have at least noticed they don’t babysit. It can be awkward because these are people we actually love who have never harmed Dd, but I know better than to ever trust them.

You have a situation where you can’t leave your child in the room with a relative. That means if you run to the bathroom she needs to come with. It means if she wakes up early from a nap and finds grandma first you have a problem. She needs to never be unsupervised, even for a second, even in an emergency. It may be you can pull that off in a controlled setting once a year, it may be you can’t.