Sick of being the one who does stuff

[hillview]

DH doesn’t know how to start or run the snowblower
DS2 doesn’t get up to get a towel when he spills a whole glass of milk at the table (no one does)
DH and DS1 do nothing when the washer is sounding out of balance “I didn’t know what that [loud thumping] noise was”

All of these things have been explained and shown and helped with. So my day is spent saying things like “whe we spill something we leap up to get a towel” and “when you hear that loud noise you get up and fix it”

Just so so sick of doing stuff or telling other people what to do. Some days I just feel like I’m the only one who can execute.

[elephantmeg]

Oh my goodness... me too! You have my sympathy!

[boogiemom]

Um. That would not fly at my house. I’d lose it. How old are DS1 & DS2? I can’t think of a single thing at my house that I do that my DH doesn’t also know how to do. He handles snowblowing because I hate snow. If he is out of town, as he often is, DS1 does it. DS1 is now 16 but has been using the snowblower for maybe 3 or 4 years. Before he used the snowblower, he shoveled. DS2, 12, shovels. DH, DS1, & DS2 all do laundry. DH does ours if I haven’t and DS1 & DS2 do their own.

I’d lose my cool if someone spilled something at the table and didn’t jump up to clean it up. Truly. I don’t know how you deal. My DS2 tends to do things slowly or not the way I think they should be done. I just tell him that tells me he needs more practice. He is painfully slow with dishes. Drives me nuts. But, because DS2 clearly needs more practice, DS1 rarely does dishes now. :-)

Sounds like your guys need lots of practice handling day to day tasks. Life skill training. It’s important that they get good at it all those pesky chores. I see that training as part of my job. They get lots of practice. ;-)
Train early & often!

I’m really sorry they are so frustrating. You aren’t the only one who CAN execute but it sounds like you are the only one volunteering.


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[hellokitty]

I totally get it. I have actually stopped doing some things (and yes, it makes me cringe to let it go), bc then they (husband and kids finally realize the consequences). When I went back to work fulltime after 10 yrs as a sahm, my husband, who was convinced that I, "didn't do anything" as a sahm, got a rude awakening. I let a lot of things go and bc some magical fairy didn't show up, he had to do it. Some tasks, I could have showed him how to do it, I just let him learn on his own. I cannot be the brain for 5 people all of the time. I would like the other 4 people, one who is an ADULT, to use their brains too. Dropping the rope can do wonders, but you have to be able to grit your teeth through watching things slide...

[ett]

You have my sympathy too! I was just telling DS1 yesterday that when he spills water he needs to clean it up himself immediately. (This is after he spilled his 40oz water bottle on my hardwood floors! I asked DH to help DS1 wipe that up immediately!) A few months back I found DS1's water bottle in a puddle of water in the living room. I asked him why it's there and his answer was I told you I spilled the water. Uggh! Is it not obvious to clean up spilled liquids immediately?

[georgiegirl]

I feel for you. I really do.

Reminds me of the time when DH was watching DS2 all day when I was at a swim meet with the older two and he wasn’t able to leave the house to run errands. Why? Because he couldn’t figure out how to tighten the straps on the car seat. It wasn’t a new car seat. It wasn’t our first child. (This happened this summer and my oldest is 11. DS1 had sat in it recently so the straps were really long). It was the standard “pull the tail between the legs” method of tightening straps that I’m pretty sure all car seats have. And then he couldn’t even properly google how to do it. He was googling “how to adjust car seat straps,” which of course showed him how to rethread the straps.




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[ellies mom]

You just come hang out with me. I'll buy you a drink. I've got no advice just commiseration. And this video. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-_kXIGvB1uU


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[umsh]

I totally get it. I have actually stopped doing some things (and yes, it makes me cringe to let it go), bc then they (husband and kids finally realize the consequences). When I went back to work fulltime after 10 yrs as a sahm, my husband, who was convinced that I, "didn't do anything" as a sahm, got a rude awakening. I let a lot of things go and bc some magical fairy didn't show up, he had to do it. Some tasks, I could have showed him how to do it, I just let him learn on his own. I cannot be the brain for 5 people all of the time. I would like the other 4 people, one who is an ADULT, to use their brains too. Dropping the rope can do wonders, but you have to be able to grit your teeth through watching things slide...

So letting things go actually worked for you? When I went back to work for a few months, I let everything go, and nothing was picked up...I’m now in fear of going back full time Bc I don’t see how our family will be able to function...

OP, you have my sympathy, and sadly, it looks like you’re not alone.


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[AngB]

Preach!

The other day DH asked me "are you sure you want me to load the dishwasher? I always do it wrong." I think it was MAYBE the 3rd time he's loaded dishes since we moved into this house 1.5 yrs ago. [So I have definitely not criticized his dish-loading abilities, although they are assinine and I'm pretty sure he did it on purpose. No honey, one skillet pan cannot/should not be put in there so it takes up 1/2 of the lower dishwasher!...I let him load it his way then moved stuff around later when I needed to fit a normal amount of dishes in.]

I refuse to work full time because there's no way.

I have found it helpful lately to get DH to do stuff by saying "okay, do you want to do dishes or give DS1 a bath now?" like he's a 2 yo asking the green shirt or the blue shirt... whereas before I would do the dishes and then give baths all myself and be pissed about it. It actually works pretty well albeit it's ridiculous.
Maybe try "do you want to figure out how to work the snowblower or just shovel the snow?"

[sunnyside]

I'm sorry. That is really not fair. My 7yo (oldest other person in the house) can be very clueless (maybe all 7yos are...) and I feel it frustrating me and have been formulating a plan. I hope they will get it together for you!