People are people so...

[lkoala]

It is past 2 in the morning but this is bugging me so much I can’t sleep and I promised DH not to retaliate on Facebook so here I am. To preface, we live in a heavily LDS area. I have some wonderful neighbors and some not so great ones... like the rest of the world. So today was the first day of Girl Scout cookie season. It is DD’s first year of selling cookies and she is very excited to do so. We set up her webpage, she made a video and I thought I would post it on my Facebook page and the neighborhood Facebook page and add that DD would be happy to come take anyone’s orders if they wanted. I figured it was ok since people are always posting things they are selling as well as asking for and getting recommendations on local merchants to use for various things. In fact, just today one person was looking for a box spring and another had one to which the original poster asked how much she wanted for it. Well, a few hours later, I get a message from the admin saying she deleted my post because it is not a yard sale group and that I should post at a local yard sale group, or something, instead. She said she was putting that info in the about section of the groups page. She also posted a reminder to the group about it.

I am rather upset since there are many instances of people selling things like dressers, jackets, etc on that group’s page and I feel it was unfair of her to single me out. Another thing upsetting was that a person who i thought was a friend actually ‘liked’ the admin’s post. I was upset so I left the group. I wanted to respond to the admin but DH said there’d be nothing to gain by starting a fight with neighbors. I was curious about who the admin is so I checked out her Facebook profile. Her last post today was of her daughter’s Girl Scout cookie website. Maybe I am being uncharitable but I can only surmise that she did not want the competition.

Feeling very unwanted in this community because we are not of the predominant faith. So sick of the games people play.

[nfceagles]

That is very annoying. Do you think the admin is LDS? I ask because when I was growing up Girls Scouts was not very popular with the LDS crowd.

Do you think there's any chance the friend who liked the reminder hadn't seen your post to know that the admin was referring to you?


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[jgenie]

Are you saying the admin posted about her daughter’s cookie page then told you you couldn’t post about cookie sales? If so, that stinks!


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[TwinFoxes]

Okay, I know it's the BP....feel free to ignore. But how do you know the Admin didn't contact the people who put other things on sale? And even if she didn't, I can totally understand why she deleted a GS Cookie post, there are probably 100s of scouts with parents in the group (including the admin, apparently), if she let your daughter post, she'd have to let everyone post. I have two Girl Scouts, so I'm totally.sympathetic to wanting to sell, but I wouldn't post in our neighborhood FB page. If you're feeling disconnected from the community, I don't think quitting the local FB page is a good move.

Are you saying the admin posted about her daughter’s cookie page then told you you couldn’t post about cookie sales? If so, that stinks!


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The admin posted on her personal page.

[lkoala]

That is very annoying. Do you think the admin is LDS? I ask because when I was growing up Girls Scouts was not very popular with the LDS crowd.

Do you think there's any chance the friend who liked the reminder hadn't seen your post to know that the admin was referring to you?


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Yes, she is LDS. I agree, there isn’t a large GS presence here. The friend is also an admin of that group, the possibility is there but I think they are close enough that she would ask what prompted the notice.

I am just annoyed at the hypocrisy of it and that it is directed towards my DD’s activity.

[HannaAddict]

Our neighborhood page would not allow an actual GS cookie selling page either and honestly, it would be super annoying. And potential for a dozen more if she left it up. Ours still has items for sale and people looking for items, but not actual sale pages. Our admin contacts people vi message usually if they post something not allowed vs publicly. I don’t think it is religiously based or hypocritical since the admin posted about cookies on her own page, not the neighborhood page. I’m sorry you feel disconnected but try to not take this personally or read more into it than there is - the no sale page is totally what the rule is on every neighborhood board I’ve seen, even our local buy sell group (on that you can post an item but not a sale page for your products). Hang in there.


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[lkoala]

Our neighborhood page would not allow an actual GS cookie selling page either and honestly, it would be super annoying. And potential for a dozen more if she left it up. Ours still has items for sale and people looking for items, but not actual sale pages. Our admin contacts people vi message usually if they post something not allowed vs publicly. I don’t think it is religiously based or hypocritical since the admin posted about cookies on her own page, not the neighborhood page. I’m sorry you feel disconnected but try to not take this personally or read more into it than there is - the no sale page is totally what the rule is on every neighborhood board I’ve seen, even our local buy sell group (on that you can post an item but not a sale page for your products). Hang in there.


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Thanks guys, this makes me feel better. I need a thicker skin and need to just make the most of what opportunities there are. On the bright side all our immediate neighbors bought cookies!

[khm]

It is past 2 in the morning but this is bugging me so much I can’t sleep and I promised DH not to retaliate on Facebook so here I am. To preface, we live in a heavily LDS area. I have some wonderful neighbors and some not so great ones... like the rest of the world. So today was the first day of Girl Scout cookie season. It is DD’s first year of selling cookies and she is very excited to do so. We set up her webpage, she made a video and I thought I would post it on my Facebook page and the neighborhood Facebook page and add that DD would be happy to come take anyone’s orders if they wanted. I figured it was ok since people are always posting things they are selling as well as asking for and getting recommendations on local merchants to use for various things. In fact, just today one person was looking for a box spring and another had one to which the original poster asked how much she wanted for it. Well, a few hours later, I get a message from the admin saying she deleted my post because it is not a yard sale group and that I should post at a local yard sale group, or something, instead. She said she was putting that info in the about section of the groups page. She also posted a reminder to the group about it.

I am rather upset since there are many instances of people selling things like dressers, jackets, etc on that group’s page and I feel it was unfair of her to single me out. Another thing upsetting was that a person who i thought was a friend actually ‘liked’ the admin’s post. I was upset so I left the group. I wanted to respond to the admin but DH said there’d be nothing to gain by starting a fight with neighbors. I was curious about who the admin is so I checked out her Facebook profile. Her last post today was of her daughter’s Girl Scout cookie website. Maybe I am being uncharitable but I can only surmise that she did not want the competition.

Feeling very unwanted in this community because we are not of the predominant faith. So sick of the games people play.

I am sorry this is bugging you!! Was your actual post called out and your friend liked the comment to your actual post? Or, did your friend like the generic reminder post? Because, I've totally Liked posts reminding our group about things I see repeatedly, but I don't know the "straw that broke the camel's back" post that preceded it.

In our town swap group, we have a huge rule about the items being sold need to be physically swapped in our town. It got completely overloaded with people selling crap from far and wide and saying Pick up in their "Town 20 Miles Away". The group was started for our town, we want to buy/sell stuff easily in our town. Not wade through page after page of sale stuff too far away to be worth the trip. Those folks need to be on their own town's swap to sell their $10 item, not clogging up our page for stuff ain't no one is driving that far for. Our admin had a friendly reminder post about this and I liked that. I have no idea the post that prompted her to post that, but it happens multiple times a day. These sellers just joined every group within 50 miles it seems, not considering the effect it has on the ability to use the sites like they are intended.

Gently, I honestly think you are reading too much into your situation. Group Admins have a thankless job dealing with the same issues over and over and over. I can see a difference between "does anyone have an extra bed frame they are looking to get rid of" vs. wanting to nip a dozen GS cookie moms from hitting the site. Putting that on one's own page is what is expected in the groups I am in. Same with real estate agents and MLM home based sellers.

I don't think anyone is thinking badly of you! I think they just are trying to keep their site a certain way. Please try and read it in a gentler tone, because I believe that is how it was intended. (hug) I know how hard it is to feel like you don't fit in!

[California]

This is a bitching post, so feel free to ignore this: Sounds like you and your DH are experiencing a classic gender difference in how we view potential criticism. Your DH is seeing the admin as criticizing the situation. You are seeing the admin as criticizing you, personally. We women (and our daughters) are also very good at taking a small comment (in this case an email) and adding all sorts of negative thoughts on to it, and then stewing over it for hours. I catch myself doing this. So does my oldest daughter. We're very quick to drive ourselves a little nuts with our own negative assumptions.

If you can reframe it, you can probably come up with scenarios where the admin did not mean anything personal by this and was simply thinking about the situation. As PP mentioned, she may have feared an avalanche of cookie posts and wanted to nip them in the bud. Nothing personal to you at all. She followed her own rule by only posting cookie sale info on her own personal page. The thought that this is something negative about you is just a thought- that's all. Notice it, notice how it makes you feel, and then don't feed into it and let it go.

And good luck to your DD on her first cookie season!

[doberbrat]

2 things - one, our neighborhood page would not allow GS cookies either - apparently, its predominantly to post about lost/found cats, people who dont pu after their dogs and people looking for dog sitters honestly, I just roll my eyes and move on.

2nd, some people 'like' FB posts all the time w/o reading them properly. I have a good friend wh 'liked' her friend's post about her mother dying..... to this day, a year later, she STILL feels horrible about it and talks about it. It happens. So yes, it might be a personal slight, but it also might not.

I'm sorry you're feeling disconnected.