If this were your DC, would you want me to say something?

[SnuggleBuggles]

OP, your inner voice seems to want you to intervene quite often on things. Occasionally I’ve agreed with you but more often, I think you should quiet that voice. Step back and think through what you hope to gain as well as what could go wrong with your intervention.


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[candaceb]

I know you're a single parent family, so I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I think that this is the kind of thing that goes on in a 2 parent household all the time. I bet there are many times when DH is out with DS and they get ice cream right before dinner and say "don't tell mom!". Totally normal for a kid to think like that.

[mackmama]

First, I hope "Adele" isn't her first name and isn't close-sounding to her real name. Second, I wouldn't mind if someone told me about this about my DC since getting feedback about my DC doesn't rile me up - but no I wouldn't say something in terms of raising a red flag. Sounds like normal kid behavior. Kids want sweets and can be manipulative to get it.

Personally it kind of sounds like you are (subconsciously?) pigeon-holing/looking for aberrant behavior in Adele knowing she already has some other issues.

[bisous]

I know you're a single parent family, so I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I think that this is the kind of thing that goes on in a 2 parent household all the time. I bet there are many times when DH is out with DS and they get ice cream right before dinner and say "don't tell mom!". Totally normal for a kid to think like that.

See this would be really weird in my family (and we're a two parent family). I can see why OP is concerned. It seems purposefully deceptive. If it were my sister, I might make a mention of it as an FYI but I wouldn't be overly concerned. My kids don't personally struggle with this issue (yet! an ever important qualifier with kids, lol) but it doesn't seem too serious.

[jgenie]

See this would be really weird in my family (and we're a two parent family). I can see why OP is concerned. It seems purposefully deceptive. If it were my sister, I might make a mention of it as an FYI but I wouldn't be overly concerned. My kids don't personally struggle with this issue (yet! an ever important qualifier with kids, lol) but it doesn't seem too serious.

In our house it would be innocent fun accompanied with giggles and sideway glances and filling in the other parent on the side. DS2 has an allergy and lots of places aren’t safe for him to visit. If we drive by one and just DS1 is in the car we might make a stop and just not mention it to DS2.

[Kindra178]

First, I hope "Adele" isn't her first name and isn't close-sounding to her real name.

Huh? Why? Because we might meet an 11 year old named Adele who wants candy before lunch?

[bisous]

In our house it would be innocent fun accompanied with giggles and sideway glances and filling in the other parent on the side. DS2 has an allergy and lots of places aren’t safe for him to visit. If we drive by one and just DS1 is in the car we might make a stop and just not mention it to DS2.

Oh ok. We don't do anything like that in our family. So it would be unusual for us.

[niccig]

Normal kid trying to test a new adult to see if they can get something. Adele doesn’t know you or how strongly you stick to rules. Now she knows.




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[niccig]

In our house it would be innocent fun accompanied with giggles and sideway glances and filling in the other parent on the side. DS2 has an allergy and lots of places aren’t safe for him to visit. If we drive by one and just DS1 is in the car we might make a stop and just not mention it to DS2.

DH and DS do this with Taco Bell. They both know I think the nacho cheese is plastic, so they get it and tell each other to not tell Mom. They’re not forbidden to get it, I know they get it, they just know I think it’s gross and have shared “don’t tell” moment.

[HannaAddict]

Normal kid behavior and not what I would give a sermon on “lying” about at all. Not even a blip on the radar and wouldn’t occur to me to (a) tell them the kids were asking for junk food or (b) that her child said not to tell her and get it for her.
I would think something was off with you if you brought it up to me.


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