If your kid does not / did not like physical activity, would you make him/her anyway?

[pastrygirl]

My non-sports boy have liked rock climbing. I used to take them to classes, but haven’t in a long time. Now we’re too busy with other things. But I’d like to get them active without having to spend money and commit to certain days/times.

[JustMe]

I think this is a complex situation (not particularly for the OP's dd, but anyone in this situation). My both kids love physical activity, but I was more like your dd. My mom did not force me and my family in general was not active. As an adult, the reality has hit me and I have had to learn to be active.

I would insist/encourage some form of physical activity that your dd is most interested/or even hates the least. I would not insist on cardio...I would be fine with yoga or something like that. I also agree it does not have to be structured and something like increased family hikes would be fine. My reasoning, and the reasoning I would give dd, is that its for her health. I would not focus on weight, but for me it is health that is the priority.

[magnoliaparadise]

I have been meaning to get back to this and thank everyone - this is very helpful. Thank you!
I want to re-read this and print it out, but my take aways were:

- try different non-sport physical activity (like hiking)
- don't push, but encourage and explain how important it is (and it actually helped me to see that other families encourage it for habit-forming reasons, which makes sense)
- try different sports, like fencing
- do kid and me time - I love this and am trying it more. Today, I went for an hour and a half walk with my DD (she complained, but only periodically) and tomorrow I'm going to play outside in the snow with my younger DD. I also loved the 'couch to 5K' idea and doing it with my kid(s).
- not to focus on weight, but on activity (I feel I am doing this, but I need to do it more)
- any physical activity is ok, even if not cardio
- go for her passion (which I'm hoping she finds)

There were many more ideas there and I'll go back and read this again - I appreciate it all this advice - thank you again!

[AbbysMom]

I was similar and have a similar child. So far, successful physical activity has been walking, hiking and rock climbing. She also tried golfing with a girls league last year and I am really trying to keep her interested and involved in that. It's outside, very much her speed and is some exercise. We are going to try golfing as a family this summer too. None of us have ever golfed before so should be interesting!

[ahisma]

An idea for hiking, walking, biking, etc. - I've found that my kids respond better to it when I frame with as having a destination. For example, we're going to hike to see a cool waterfall, or a cool bridge or something. If I say that we're going to go for a 5 mile hike, my youngest (9 yo) will complain the whole way. If he's going to go see a waterfall, or a cool rock, or something, he's all in.

Also, I set up instagram accounts for them (on my phone, only I have the password) and they post from our hikes. DS1 posts a pic and a haiku (his choice) from each hike. DS2 posts a cool rock and names it. I like that it's teaching them how to use social media with intentionality and purpose, and it also helps motivate some physical activity.

[teresah00]

My oldest, now 12 doesn’t naturally enjoy athletics. Activity is important, formal sports while great isn’t necessary. I have made her enroll in things (track, swimming and Girl Scouts) but told her she could stop after one session. Her friends asked her to play basketball bc I knew she wouldn’t otherwise but now loves it. She’s asked to continue in each of them. For her,I know she needs a nudge.
She had a friend that was overweight and the mom always invited a friend on their walks, hikes, bike rides on the canal, etc. having a friend along made it much more enjoyable.

[dogmom]

Look, there is a TON of emphasis in this culture placed on sports and looks. My DS complains that his whole high school sense of community revolves around sports, particular football. The fact that a center of learning revolves around a sport that brain damages kids makes my head spin. And it's not like I live in a uber-football center school area. To complicate matters further youth sports pretty much revolves around a large money making industry for adults. (I recommend everyone see the HBO piece they did on youth sports on Real Sports.)

Yes, people need to be active, but they need to be active in a way that is sustainable for them. Do you really think forcing anything on kids is going to work long term, as in until they are middle aged and facing heart disease? My daughter is not into physical activity. She did decide to try a swim team (after soccer, basketball, and dance were all fails, and I let her stop). She is on a low key swim team, but she talks about quitting when she gets older because she might want to spend more time on other pursuits. (music, art, video, girl scouts) She can in she wants. I've told her she's going to need some other way to balance out that nightly ice cream habit she has. She tells me she knows, we'll see. My son dropped out of sports right before High School because he decided he didn't enjoy them that much and he felt his friends that were really into sports were jerks. I've got to agree on that. They did turn into jerks as they got older. (So much for team dynamics.) There are plenty of other ways to learn how to work with other people, which are much more realistic expectations of the modern work environment than team sports. Since dropping sports he's learned to decrease his calorie intake to adjust to his expenditure. (All on his own, I said nothing.) He does some exercise in spurts. He's 15, his arteries aren't clogging anytime soon. He has enough skills he can do pick up basketball games and the such when he gets older. I suspect he will be more like his father who dropped 25 lbs doing exercise on a virtual reality computer he has. Works for him. He gets his HR up and sweats like a pig during a boxing game, and no head injuries.

In the end my kids have to figure out how to work this out for themselves. I will help. I will encourage. I will use some carrots and maybe a little sticks. But they have to figure it out. No I am going to force them to do some hiking this summer, but that has to do with my feelings they need to connect with nature. And basically they will do it because, as my DH says, it keeps your mother happy and off your back. (He means in that in the most loving way.) So they won't resent it, they do it as a favor for me, because it makes me happy.

[mommytotwo]

Also consider whether exercise induced asthma could be a factor ... especially if cardio is not preferred.

[AnnieW625]

Very late to this post but neither of my kids are being into team sports. Dd1 does ballet and is starting a little bit of modern dance. She played YMCA basketball through 3rd grade, and swam her 4th grade year and decided she liked dance more. She plays volleyball in her CYO league at school and if she didn’t love dance so much she might play club as she is good, but dance is her love. She also wants to play hockey but I told her that as long as she dances four days a week (which is her plan for the time being) she won’t be able to do hockey as well unless it is just a rec. league on Sunday afternoons. She is going to a learn to play hockey program next month at our local rink.

Dd2 played t ball and now just swims one night a week with a private lesson but we hope that she moves to the pre competition team in the next year. She has a huge interest in playing hockey as well and will also do the learn to play program next month. If she likes it and has some talent then we will research options more. Dd2 loves art as well and I could see her focusing on that vs. team sports, but would like her to keep swimming or at least play in a rec. league for sports to keep her active.


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[sunshiney]

I wouldn't force them