Ghosted

[basil]

Our nanny of 2 years gave her notice in early march that she was starting nursing school end of March. I probably talked to 20 people on the phone, scheduled 10-ish interviews, interviewed 6-7 people, and narrowed it down to 2.

We called references. One had a really good recent reference where she had been a nanny for the past year. They said they loved her, but kids were older and they no longer needed her. So we hired her, exactly 3 weeks ago.

She said she needed 2 weeks notice to quit her other part time job (working at a dog training facility), and then last week we were on vacation. So we agreed on a start date of today. We paid for background and driving checks, got her set up with payroll, she filled out a W4, etc. I notified her that everything was on track 1.5 weeks ago, asked if she had any questions, and she said she had none.

Yesterday I texted to tell her to come in a bit later, that my husband was off and we would just get my daughter used to her today, etc., and she never replied. Never showed up this morning.

So now I am scrambling and freaking. Plus we have to go through the super painful process of interviewing and dealing with these flaky care.com people all over again. And my brother's MIL is in town and won't watch my daughter for the 3 hour gap we have when me, my husband, my mother, and my father are all working. Even though DD would sleep at least 2 hours of that time.

[sariana]

Oh, wow, I have no advice, but that is so not okay! I'm really sorry that happened!

[BDKmom]

How awful for you! I hope you can find someone reliable quickly. I just don't get people who can do things like this!

[PunkyBoo]

That is absolutely awful! I'm so sorry you're going thru that! We found our first two nannies thru care .com and they were both fabulous. They are like family to us even still. But out next forays into hiring a nanny were horrible, much like what you're going thru. Total flakes. Getting ghosted. Not showing up. It was so awful. I really feel for you!

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[Philly Mom]

Awful! And I would be so annoyed at the in law even if that may not be reasonable. Would drive me insane! Sending you positive thoughts!

[123LuckyMom]

Ugh!!! That’s terrible! What a mess! I’d let the family who gave you the references know in case anyone else calls for a reference (and in case there was some sort of horrible accident.) It’s especially irksome that family won’t step in and do you a tiny favor when you’re in such dire straights. I hate that! I hope it all works out!


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[SnuggleBuggles]

That really sucks. Though in some ways its better that it happened before she started work in general and just didn't show after routines were all established.

YOur brother's MIL is no one to you so I can see why she wasn't itching to babysit (though I would certainly help you out if I were her!). I't not like it's your MIL....lots of degrees of separation there. Still, it is sucky and frustrating.

[basil]

Yeah I wouldn’t be so annoyed at my brother’s MIL if I weren’t in such a tight spot, and if I weren’t so annoyed to begin with. She’s going to be sitting in my brothers house watching his 1 year old, so it’s not like she is giving up all that much. Plus DD is pretty darn easy as 3 year olds go...she could easily sleep for 2 hours and watch iPad for the remaining hour and not make a peep. But my brothers MIL doesn’t know that. And she doesn’t know how many times I’ve stepped in to care for my niece when my brother/SIL had stuff going on.

As it stands, my mother will take DD to my father’s office (in the psychiatric hospital), which is 30 miles from my house and I’ll pick her up from there.

I’m trying to maintain faith in humanity and maybe the nanny has some major emergency or family emergency. But ugh.

[mmsmom]

I’m so sorry this happened. Have you considered using an agency? Yes, they charge a fee but they also do all the legwork for you and in my experience it was worth the fee. Agencies also usually have back ups availability so if the nanny doesn’t show or is sick then they can send someone else.

[Liziz]

Ugh that is so incredibly frustrating! Reliable child care can be SO stressful! I sure hope you find someone more reliable very soon!