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  1. #11
    mikala is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Ugh, yeah, that would warrant a serious consent discussion in our household on par with how we need consent to touch someone physically. I would be very unhappy with DH and we would have to get on the same page with the lessons we're teaching our children.

  2. #12
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    I wouldn’t be happy. Everyone has the same expectation and right to privacy at home, especially in relaxed state of being!

    It would warrant a serious family meeting in my household prior to a long discussion with DH to make sure he’s on same page and backing me up.

    Your kids are old enough to know the difference between right and wrong, what’s private and what isn’t. Consent would be a bigger discussion too, everyone needs to get consent when a camera/phone is involved. Even more so when privacy and body is involved as well. I would also talk about consent every so often going forward; especially with DS1 and DS2. What may happen if consent isn’t obtained? What do they think about loss of ones privacy that is expected among homes, private conversations, etc.

    And lastly i would take away their devices that caused the recording to go live without your consent or knowledge. Its how it’ll go down in their schools if they did something like that to a classmate. Better that their “mistake” occurred at home with you as their 1st offense rather in schools where consequences may have been much more severe.


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    Mummy to DS1-6/11 and DS2-1/14

  3. #13
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Well thank you all for your support!! I want to reiterate that apparently I walked into a live recording—they didn’t go about trying to record me secretly! I just wish they had turned it off or said something about it instead of letting the camera run!! And I’m SUPER mad that somehow this was something that I did wrong? Still I need to say, they honestly were just sitting there trying to send a “funny” video to my SIL and not trying to catch me.

    So I get what you’re saying about consent but maybe it has more to do with properly setting up a live communication than it does with maliciously putting material out there, if that makes sense.

    I agree that DH is setting a terrible example by blowing my concerns off!! But he’s not one to do anything without consent. Usually. He doesn’t even put up FB pictures with my sign off.

    I think this was kind of a blunder more than anything else but it was embarrassing for me and DH sees no culpability for himself at all.

  4. #14
    khm is offline Ruby level (4000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by bisous View Post
    Well thank you all for your support!! I want to reiterate that apparently I walked into a live recording—they didn’t go about trying to record me secretly! I just wish they had turned it off or said something about it instead of letting the camera run!! And I’m SUPER mad that somehow this was something that I did wrong? Still I need to say, they honestly were just sitting there trying to send a “funny” video to my SIL and not trying to catch me.

    So I get what you’re saying about consent but maybe it has more to do with properly setting up a live communication than it does with maliciously putting material out there, if that makes sense.

    I agree that DH is setting a terrible example by blowing my concerns off!! But he’s not one to do anything without consent. Usually. He doesn’t even put up FB pictures with my sign off.

    I think this was kind of a blunder more than anything else but it was embarrassing for me and DH sees no culpability for himself at all.
    I think it needs to be made clear, that this thing has to be set up and done in the yard or whatever where others are not apt to be "accidentally" part of their live video.

    I wouldn't want these things done willy nilly, or out at restaurants, or whatever.

    They didn't set out to broadcast you secretly, but they DID end up broadcasting you secretly - and continued to do it instead of stopping or informing you, and you are upset. They need to honor your request here.

    I mean, surely, even if they love this app and don't mind being broadcast unknowingly for X reason, they can think of Y reasons where they would NOT like to be broadcast when they were unaware?

    You are just 100% in the "no broadcast" camp where they are in an "ok here and not ok there" camp.

  5. #15
    bisous is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by khm View Post
    I think it needs to be made clear, that this thing has to be set up and done in the yard or whatever where others are not apt to be "accidentally" part of their live video.

    I wouldn't want these things done willy nilly, or out at restaurants, or whatever.

    They didn't set out to broadcast you secretly, but they DID end up broadcasting you secretly - and continued to do it instead of stopping or informing you, and you are upset. They need to honor your request here.

    I mean, surely, even if they love this app and don't mind being broadcast unknowingly for X reason, they can think of Y reasons where they would NOT like to be broadcast when they were unaware?

    You are just 100% in the "no broadcast" camp where they are in an "ok here and not ok there" camp.
    Thank you. Yes, this is how I totally feel and a good read of the scenario. I will attempt another discussion of this tonight!

  6. #16
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    They (or you) should make a little sign that says "hot set" or "recording". That way you won't ruin their videos and you wouldn't get recorded.

    In your DH's slight defense, I don't know if I would have stopped recording if you were just in the background. I would have definitely have told you though and stopped immediately if you asked me to.
    Mommy to my wonderful, HEALTHY twin girls
    6/08 - Preemies no more!

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