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  1. #11
    KpbS's Avatar
    KpbS is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Yes, the invitation is rude. If she were hosting a shower for a friend with dietary limitations, I think the request is fine, if not, ?????

    If you are asking people to come to your home and provide some food, aside from keeping with a theme like Italian or Mexican food, I can't imagine telling them how the food must be prepared. And I am allergic to dairy and don't eat it at all.
    K

  2. #12
    mommy111 is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Invite seemed perfectly fine/pragmatic to me. There are dietary restrictions for whatever reason and she’s specifying them. And looks like she’s supplying all the main courses. Not that hard to accommodate , quite honestly. Take popsicles or a fruit platter or a veggie platter. Maybe it’s the NE, but we have a lot of vegans/vegetarians here so it’s not unusual at all for hosts to specify vegetarian or vegan
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  3. #13
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    Maybe a dairy allergy? Is the host an ethical vegan who doesn’t want anything questionable in her home? I’d be surprised by that request too.

    Chips and salsa? Tequila sans worm?

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by mommy111 View Post
    Invite seemed perfectly fine/pragmatic to me. There are dietary restrictions for whatever reason and she’s specifying them. And looks like she’s supplying all the main courses. Not that hard to accommodate , quite honestly. Take popsicles or a fruit platter or a veggie platter.
    Is she, OP? I have a friend who hosts a ladies night potluck every few weeks, and dinner is really a collection of salads, heavy appetizers — whatever anyone brings. The host doesn’t make a main course. Might be worth finding out.

    I guess my biggest concern is what if everyone defaults to a fruit tray or a veggie tray because it’s the easiest way to meet these requirements. Is there a group invite done through Facebook where everyone can post what they are bringing?

    But in general, I agree that invite is obnoxious.
    Last edited by carolinacool; 05-24-2018 at 12:02 AM.
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  5. #15
    mikala is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    How big is the event? How close are you with her/how close is she with the other guests? I'm not immediately interpreting it as rude because if it's a small gathering I'd guess the other guests may already be aware of the dietary restriction so the hostess didn't feel the need to explain in her email. If it's a large event it definitely feels like she should have just asked people to label dishes with non-vegan ingredients or explained more if there are allergies or other significant reasons involved.

  6. #16
    JElaineB is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Does it say dairy-free OR vegan? It seems that dairy may be the real issue. So maybe something with eggs or even meat is ok as long as it is dairy-free.

  7. #17
    babyonway is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by JElaineB View Post
    Does it say dairy-free OR vegan? It seems that dairy may be the real issue. So maybe something with eggs or even meat is ok as long as it is dairy-free.
    That is what I was thinking. That dairy is really the only thing the host is trying to avoid.


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  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by mommy111 View Post
    Invite seemed perfectly fine/pragmatic to me. There are dietary restrictions for whatever reason and she’s specifying them. And looks like she’s supplying all the main courses. Not that hard to accommodate , quite honestly. Take popsicles or a fruit platter or a veggie platter. Maybe it’s the NE, but we have a lot of vegans/vegetarians here so it’s not unusual at all for hosts to specify vegetarian or vegan
    I agree. I mean, yes, it's a bit of a PITA to restrict what you are comfortable/used to making, and I would fleetingly think that just because my default is the familiar. But I but I don't think it's rude. She is the one having the party, which is a nice thing to do. If anyone else wants to host, they can and make their own restrictions.

    If it really bothers you, you can just decline.

  9. #19
    dhano923 is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Maybe she or one of the guests has a dairy allergy and can’t be around dairy products? I doubt someone would make a request like that for the heck of it. If you really want to eat dairy or meat that day, then eat it before or after you go. There are so many dairy-free/vegan options you could take.

    I’d probably take one of the following:
    Hummus and pita chips
    Mixed green salad with vinaigrette
    Chips and salsa (make fresh salsa)
    Pasta salad
    Roasted corn and black bean salad
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  10. #20
    KrisM is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by JElaineB View Post
    Does it say dairy-free OR vegan? It seems that dairy may be the real issue. So maybe something with eggs or even meat is ok as long as it is dairy-free.
    I think the "or" is the key. You can bring meat or anything else, so long as it's then dairy free.
    Kris

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