Host etiquette question

[Twoboos]

I was invited to a party, seems to be potluck. The host's email says, "I was thinking apps, salads, sweets and cocktails. One constraint, please keep anything you bring dairy-free or vegan. Appreciate it!"

So, she suggests stuff to bring but it must be made as she dictates. Why can't we bring what we want, she doesn't have to eat/touch dairy-full or non-vegan, we can take any/all leftovers, and she can prepare her offerings as she'd like?

Um, I think I'm busy?

No really, is this request unreasonable, or am I unreasonable? Curious as to what others think.

[SnuggleBuggles]

That’s odd. If she has such specific limits, she should probably not make it potluck.


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[mom2binsd]

That is the worst invitation ever, so she is throwing a party, and wants the guests to bring food, but makes it very restrictive (I mean dairy free and vegan eliminates a LOT of foods!). I totally don't mind potluck parties, but unless all the guest are dairy free and vegan, she's being a royal B%^8h!!!! But she ended with "Appreciate it", so it's fine .

I would honestly bring a meat and cheese platter, more for you and the other guests will thank you! Unless she is allergic to airborne dairy I'm sure it''ll be fine.

[AnnieW625]

Bring a bag of sprouts


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[squimp]

I would bring a fruit plate or fruit salad. I agree it's a little weird but there are lots of reasons to eat vegan and I wouldn't fault someone for trying to do that.

[calebsmama03]

I think the invite is rude and tacky. I’d have no issue with a note to the effect that there are several guests with XYZ dietary restrictions should you wish to tailor your food choices to include them, or a request to please label anything that contains nuts/dairy/wheat/whatever but her invite as is- no. I am gluten free due to NCGS and possible allergy but I don’t expect others to cater to my dietary restrictions! I only ask to know what to avoid or if I’m going to a family dinner where there will literally be nothing I can eat (pasta with garlic bread, salad presressed with croutons and gluten containing dressing, and cake for dessert- MIL did this exact dinner once) that they warn me so I know to bring something for myself or eat before. I even serve gluten containing things at my own home when I host for others! Unless it’s a severe contact or inhalation allergy there’s no reason to restrict others.

[DualvansMommy]

I wouldn't have worded my potluck invitation like that. I, personally would make the items ie non dairy and vegan items myself to provide at my own potluck and leave it open to everyone invited. Otherwise I would be very surprised if this host gets many people to come her potluck!

so yeah bit rude, IMO. but to each their own.

[trcy]

I wouldn't have worded my potluck invitation like that. I, personally would make the items ie non dairy and vegan items myself to provide at my own potluck and leave it open to everyone invited. Otherwise I would be very surprised if this host gets many people to come her potluck!

so yeah bit rude, IMO. but to each their own.

I agree. I am vegetarian, mostly vegan, and I would never host a party and expect people to bring foods that cater exclusively to my dietary needs.


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[mm123]

I know this is a long shot, but is there any chance the host's home is kosher?

We have a kosher home, which means we only use kosher meat, and do not mix meat and dairy (on the same plate, or in the same meal).

If I'm hosting a meal and am making meat, unless I know the guests themselves have a kosher kitchen, I will ask them to please bring something 'Parve', which means that it can't contain meat or dairy. Again, it may be a long shot, but that explanation popped into my head- the restrictions that host mentioned could maybe be her way of asking for something that she can have in a kosher kitchen?

[mom2binsd]

Maybe this is also a regional thing, I live in a Midwest city, not a hick town, but there is no way I can imagine anyone here wording an invitation that way. The polite responses from others in this post are surprising. I found the invitation obnoxious.

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