Would you ask for these back?

[alootikki]

I'll be the lone dissenting opinion here! I probably wouldn't ask for them back (given how old they are and the potential to create weirdness in the relationship) BUT I would be irritated if my SIL took something of mine from my parents' house without asking me! No one else minds this part of the story?? My parents lived in my childhood home for almost 40 years - I had lots of "things" that I kept there, and I would have thought it strange if SIL just took something of mine without at least a "hey, I found your old boots in the hall closet, ok if I take them?"

[California]

Hiking boots have come a long way in the past twenty years. If this is a one time weekend hike and it won’t be wet, go with your sneakers. If you’ll be hiking again, get some new hiking boots- you’ll find they are much lighter now. A new boot has just a good a chance of feeling confortable as a twenty year old boot- I have my old boots from when I was a very active hiker in college (for no good reason), and they’ve stiffened over time. My newer boots are much more comfy.

[niccig]

I'll be the lone dissenting opinion here! I probably wouldn't ask for them back (given how old they are and the potential to create weirdness in the relationship) BUT I would be irritated if my SIL took something of mine from my parents' house without asking me! No one else minds this part of the story?? My parents lived in my childhood home for almost 40 years - I had lots of "things" that I kept there, and I would have thought it strange if SIL just took something of mine without at least a "hey, I found your old boots in the hall closet, ok if I take them?"

Did SIL take them without asking, did she ask MIL, did MIL give them away? I could see my mom giving away things of mine she’s had for years. Sentimental items no, but shoes or clothes, maybe.


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[DualvansMommy]

I'll be the lone dissenting opinion here! I probably wouldn't ask for them back (given how old they are and the potential to create weirdness in the relationship) BUT I would be irritated if my SIL took something of mine from my parents' house without asking me! No one else minds this part of the story?? My parents lived in my childhood home for almost 40 years - I had lots of "things" that I kept there, and I would have thought it strange if SIL just took something of mine without at least a "hey, I found your old boots in the hall closet, ok if I take them?"

Not really. It is still her parents house, not the OP. If OP had anything of really sentimental value or items she really wanted then it’s on her to get it out from her parents home. Especially as a grown adult, if it was a minor while away in college, then I would totally think it isn’t right.




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[smilequeen]

I'll be the lone dissenting opinion here! I probably wouldn't ask for them back (given how old they are and the potential to create weirdness in the relationship) BUT I would be irritated if my SIL took something of mine from my parents' house without asking me! No one else minds this part of the story?? My parents lived in my childhood home for almost 40 years - I had lots of "things" that I kept there, and I would have thought it strange if SIL just took something of mine without at least a "hey, I found your old boots in the hall closet, ok if I take them?"

Ah, no. I can’t see where there would be an issue. A pair of old hiking boots that the OP hadn’t been interested in in 15 years. Unless there was some sort of sentimental attachment I would expect them to be in the Goodwill pile. Open season for anyone who wants them. Suddenly being upset after not wanting a pair of boots for 15 years is what I would consider strange. If someone else can use them, why should they just sit there?

[vonfirmath]

I'll be the lone dissenting opinion here! I probably wouldn't ask for them back (given how old they are and the potential to create weirdness in the relationship) BUT I would be irritated if my SIL took something of mine from my parents' house without asking me! No one else minds this part of the story?? My parents lived in my childhood home for almost 40 years - I had lots of "things" that I kept there, and I would have thought it strange if SIL just took something of mine without at least a "hey, I found your old boots in the hall closet, ok if I take them?"

Does SIL know they are her boots? (I'm not sure I'd consider boots that sat in a closet for 15 years as belonging to anyone in particular, though)

It's nice that my parents kept that dollhouse I abandoned all those years ago with them. I would not have considered them as giving "My" stuff away if they had gotten rid of it. And, in fact, when I finally got it back, I found I did not have room or want for it.

[HannaAddict]

I'll be the lone dissenting opinion here! I probably wouldn't ask for them back (given how old they are and the potential to create weirdness in the relationship) BUT I would be irritated if my SIL took something of mine from my parents' house without asking me! No one else minds this part of the story?? My parents lived in my childhood home for almost 40 years - I had lots of "things" that I kept there, and I would have thought it strange if SIL just took something of mine without at least a "hey, I found your old boots in the hall closet, ok if I take them?"

I doubt she “took” them - more likely offered. And OMG it was over a decade ago. If it’s not valuable or obviously sentimental, give it up I say.


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[mackmama]

I find the responses here so surprising. They were your boots! I think it's completely fine to ask for them back much less to borrow them. I left clothing items at my parents' house for 20 years since high school/college, but they're still considered mine. If a family member took them, they would be the ones borrowing them - and they wouldn't blink an eye if I asked for them back or to wear them on a hiking trip.

[123LuckyMom]

You clearly want to ask for them, so go ahead, but the question was whether it would be terribly rude. I think the words I would use are strange and off-putting. Still, you could explain that those happen to have been your boots and now, suddenly, after 20 years, you need hiking boots right away, and you’re wondering if you could borrow them. If I were your SIL, and we had a good relationship, I’d give you the boots and probably insist you keep them, but I’d definitely think the exchange was odd.


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[Kindra178]

I find the responses here so surprising. They were your boots! I think it's completely fine to ask for them back much less to borrow them. I left clothing items at my parents' house for 20 years since high school/college, but they're still considered mine. If a family member took them, they would be the ones borrowing them - and they wouldn't blink an eye if I asked for them back or to wear them on a hiking trip.

Decades later?


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