Am I the only one who wouldn't want to borrow shoes from another person? I honestly wouldn't want to loan my shoes out to someone or borrow someone else's shoes. But I also don't like to borrow things in general. If I borrowed someone else's hiking shoes, I would worry I would ruin them, get them super dirty, etc.
Why did you say you wouldn’t even consider asking if they had not once been yours?
Do you only borrow stuff that you’ve previously owned?
Your mom has offered hers, you have other shoes, but these are the ones you want. That was the issue I saw, not that it was a SIL vs. sister, it was shoes, or even it that the shoes were old. (I have an old pair of hiking shoes that are probably close to this age so truly no judgment there.) It was the distinction you made that these used to be your shoes which said to me that it might be perceived as weird by SIL. SIL would know you would never ask to borrow shoes because that’s not what you do/your relationship and so the only reason you are asking is because they used to be yours (which you admitted.) I thought she might read between the lines that you wanted them back. If you would not have made that distinction, I would not have thought it weird.
I grew up in a house of sisters and borrowing things was the norm and still is now.
I don’t really think it matters who’s boots they are now. I would totally vote for your own shoes that you’re used to. I have a pair of nice hiking boots that I leave at my in laws horse farm. I still get blisters from them the first day I put them back on. They just take time to break in again.
I have also hiked the La Luz trail in NM, to the top of mount San Jacinto and other trails in my running shoes and been fine. I vote your running shoes!!
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
DD 2001
DD 2004
DS 2007
Why would you want them???? Buy new boots. As an avid hiker/backpacker, I would NOT wear 20 year old boots. I even threw out my old riding boots that were 20 years old--that leather is going to go!!! Just.say.no.
Mom to:
DS '02
DS '05
Percy--the wild furry child!!! 2022----
Simon--the first King Charles cutie 2009-2022
RIP Andy, the furry first child, 1996-2012
"The task of any religion is not to tell us who we are entitled to hate but to teach us who we are required to love."
I don't think it would be weird to ask to borrow them, but I wouldn't mention that they used to be yours.
BUT, as a hiker - no way. They may feel comfy now, but they sure won't 3 miles in. I'd want to wear shoes that I had broken in and that I was accustomed to. Unless there is something notably wrong with your sneakers, I'd stick with those.
Look, this is obviously not about the hike, it’s about the boots. They were yours. You want them back. You don’t want to borrow them or anything, you want them back!! Bad enough that you’ve taken pics of yourself (or someone else) in those boots. So I’d just go up to SIL and say ‘hey SIL, these are my childhood boots and I find that I have a weird attachment to them. May I have them back? If you really need hiking boots, I will buy you a new pair to replace these old ones, but I would really, really want mine back’
'...everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the Last of the Human Freedoms, the ability to choose one's behavior in any set of circumstances, the Freedom to Choose One's Own Way.' -Viktor Frankle
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Chart
I agree with this.
If you TRULY just want a pair of boots to hike in, buy a new pair. Or ask her or anyone to borrow boots.
But if the issue is that they were childhood boots and your mother gave them to her and you feel a true attachment to them and your SIL now has them and you feel they should be with you, come clean and just tell her that you have a sentimental attachment to them and want them back. People have attachments to weird things and for all she knows, you might have had amazing adventures or first experiences with those boots. That to me would *not* be weird. If that were the case, if I were your SIL, I would feel really badly that something that means so much to someone else landed in my possession when it clearly didn't mean as much to me.
But if you have no attachment to the boots, then I think you should let any thoughts of them go.
Last edited by magnoliaparadise; 06-15-2018 at 03:15 AM.
I don’t feel a great deal of attachment to the boots. A little, sure, but I had a lot of good memories of them. I am not upset or sad or whatever. I fully understand that if SIL didn’t have them they would have been at Goodwill years ago.
I honestly don’t want the boots back permanently. I just want boots to wear this weekend. I think it’s quite funny that these exist. I really want to buy new boots but I don’t have time before Sunday. I would borrow my moms but she is out of town until Monday so I can’t get them.
They are just boots, seriously, but ones that fit and at least were previously comfortable and were just sitting there.
Does it change if she were a sister not a SIL? Or if it were a different object like a hiking stick or a raincoat, not shoes? I’m finding the vehemence of the replies and the questioning of my motives a little weird.
I'm weird about lending shoes, even to people I know well. But, for a 20 year old pair of shoes that no one seems to really use, I don't think it's an issue. Except, as others mentioned, the materials have probably degraded and your feet may not fit them quite like they used to. After pregnancy, I fit my normal shoes okay, but when I went to put on my steel toed boots at work, they hurt my feet horribly. Had to get a new pair that were cut much differently than my original ones.
I think the fact that your sneakers are known to you, I'd stick with them. Old shoes aren't as comfy as you remember usually.
ETA: You asked if part of the reason that people were squicked out about you asking for them was the item itself. I'd say yes. Shoes are personal items that come into pretty close contact with you & your sweat/body oils/etc. And aren't easily cleaned from those things. The idea of someone else's sweat from a long hike being in my shoes makes me feel a bit ill, honestly. Someone borrowing them to run out to the road to pick up the mail because theirs are wet? Less yucky.
Last edited by klwa; 06-15-2018 at 06:45 AM.
-Kris
DS (9/05)
DD (8/08)
DD (9/12)