Your advice! I'm dreading going on vacation... do you ever? WWYD??

[DualvansMommy]

I love travel, did extensively when I was single and married with DH prior kids. Now it’s 4 of us, it took me a while to find travel style and how I organize our trips.

Each person is different; some are better at winging it completely cuz planning makes them stressed. Others do better with extensive planning or little planning, you need to think what is stressing you out the most about this trip?

For me, I always feel slightly panicked and stressed in the lead up before leaving. Our kids are young, so we find it’s better for us as a family and for them if we do less. I usually just focus on booking accommodations whether it’s a hotel or Airbnb. Have a general idea of what our biggest main meal be, it’s important for me to plan that aspect as DS2 is allergic to a lot of food so I can’t wing it when it comes to food. As long I bring snacks or have access to snacks, the rest of meals can be winged by exploring the area in person. We’re going away next week for 5 nights, and that’s what I did. Just booked the hotel, two main attractions spread out over 4 days and couple of dinner reservations. I also found different parks, pastries and ice cream on yelp to make note to enjoy while visiting.

I would do less than you think you need to do, bring the library books and do Montreal for now. Maybe you can feel you’re up to Quebec once there on vacation. I like pp suggestions of looking through your local guide next morning after arriving, and just enjoy your trip.

It is hard planning sometimes. Even for my big love of traveling, sometimes I just get tired of being the researcher for everyone, thinking of places, etc. same time listen to your body too.


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[ged]

I'm also a single mom, and I love to travel, but I've recently become more hesitant. It's just so tiring to do.it.all all.the.time and to make all the decisions, and feel like it's all up to you. So, I totally understand. I struggle with whether to go on trips as well. I've been dragging my heels to plan a summer trip (yes - for *this* summer), and time is certainly ticking, lol. We came back from a big int'l trip a few months ago and I'm glad we went, even though I was dreading it, worried, and it wasn't where I wanted to go at.all (a family reunion or sorts). Girls had a great time. But, DD2 got sick on the flight back and was vomiting off and on, and it was horrid. So, haha - if you told me that would have happened before the trip, no way would I have gone. But, we went, and we survived and we have lots of memories

If you go, which I think maybe you should...just give yourself the liberty to take it very easy. Just being in a different setting will be fun and eye-opening.

[magnoliaparadise]

Wow! My computer died and I had to dig around to fix it and it was so satiating to see so many great responses to my BBB post when I finally got it to work again!! Thank you!! I am SUPER grateful for your thoughtful and detailed responses. I have a lot to think about, and I still haven't decided for sure, but I do feel... lighter, less burdened by the thought of researching this. What an inspiring bunch of women you are. Thank you. And I love how you love to travel. I do too. I just haven't done it much lately, but before kids, I zipped all over the place happily.

To the poster who said I was overthinking this, you are soooo right. I sometimes dig my heels in and overthink things and then by the time I do them, I think 'what on earth was I in my head about? It was no big deal!' I can be a weird perfectionist and use it to procrastinate - not effective

To the poster who thought I was going to the Montreal camping as well- wow, you are quick. That was true - I posted that awhile back in the travel section. I did decide I would go (weeks ago), but by the time my friend and I called, it was sold out so we ditched the idea.

To the poster who said you would rather travel with your kids than stay home with your kids, haha I get that.

To everyone, thank you!! Still thinking and please feel free to respond more if you have any other thoughts. I will try to go back and look at this and follow up with some more points and maybe ask some questions.

[magnoliaparadise]

I'm also a single mom, and I love to travel, but I've recently become more hesitant. It's just so tiring to do.it.all all.the.time and to make all the decisions, and feel like it's all up to you. So, I totally understand. I struggle with whether to go on trips as well. I've been dragging my heels to plan a summer trip (yes - for *this* summer), and time is certainly ticking, lol. We came back from a big int'l trip a few months ago and I'm glad we went, even though I was dreading it, worried, and it wasn't where I wanted to go at.all (a family reunion or sorts). Girls had a great time. But, DD2 got sick on the flight back and was vomiting off and on, and it was horrid. So, haha - if you told me that would have happened before the trip, no way would I have gone. But, we went, and we survived and we have lots of memories

If you go, which I think maybe you should...just give yourself the liberty to take it very easy. Just being in a different setting will be fun and eye-opening.

Ha, I've been there!! It's enough to not want to leave your house!! DD1 was throwing up; DD2 was being thrown up on; I somehow had throw-up on me from the whole chaos; all confined on the plane to FL. No clean clothes until landing. People were very polite and looked away and pretended we didn't smell. My kids were crying debarking the plane, but now we laugh about it.

[magnoliaparadise]

Meant to add to my last post:

Really good tips on surviving sanity and enjoying the moment by doing less, not necessarily doing tourist-y things, and just relaxing and enjoying. And the pool and the parks. Thanks!

Also, thanks to the poster who had all the great links and suggestions of what to do.

You guys make me want to travel more!! You are inspiring me. It's true that there is something about travel that makes you see a different way of being (or living depending upon where) outside your little box and you feel so... refreshed or just happy to see outside yourself. I went to a friend's 50th birthday just for the day, 6 - 7 hours away door to door by bus a couple of weeks ago - crazy day for all sorts of reasons including an ER trip upon my return into the late night and ending early morning the next day (my kid, all fine now) - and I still had a BLAST!

[mikala]

I'm reading from my phone and haven't had a chance to read all replies so apologies if this is a duplicate idea. When I'm dragging my heels on vacation planning I've found it helpful to watch a couple videos about our destination. Rick Steve, travel reviewers or tourism videos on YouTube, videos on Amazon or netflix, etc. If that sparks your sense of adventure, great, but if seeing a preview from your couch doesn't motivate you I'd consider postponing or doing something closer/easier.

[MontrealMum]

I think this is something you need to decide for yourself, but I enjoy traveling alone with my DS. Mind you, I'm not a single parent, so for us it's more special, alone time together, rather than the burden of having to do it all yourself. Because my DH doesn't get much vacation time and I work in education, I end up travelling quite a lot alone with DS. He's used to it and he's a great traveler. That said, I agree that you're overthinking it. Montreal and Quebec City are major tourist destinations. There's tons of stuff to do and tons of info about it out there. Your friend lives here, plus she's from away so she must host and show people around all the time. I'm sure she'll have suggestions for things to do.

That said, there are some pluses and minuses to the week you've chosen to visit. It's up to you how to view them

Jun. 22nd is the last day of school province-wide. So, you're going to be here for the very first week of summer break. This may mean things are extremely busy...but it also means they're open

You'll also either be here, or travelling, on two major holidays. St.-Jean-Baptiste is June 24th and Canada Day is July 1st. St.-Jean will be bigger (Canada Day is not huge in QC). Both can be all-weekend-long celebrations, even though they have official "dates". I'm not sure how the border will be. Canadians often go down to the US over long weekends like this. I guess you're going in the opposite direction. But there will be lots of special activities and fireworks and things while you're here if you're in need of ideas for what to do!

[moosemama]

Something I forgot to mention in my other post is that the bus and metro (subway) in Montreal are free for kids in the summer.

[squimp]

Go on tripadvisor and look up the top 5-10 attractions in each city. Pick 2-4 you think you might want to do with the kids. Once you get there ask the concierge and/or your friend about the logistics about how to get to each place/best time to go. Look at your weather app and make sure you plan accordingly. Wake up each morning and do what makes sense for each day. I would try to do one quick city tour (hop on/hop off type bus) the first day in each city so that you can get your bearings and preview what you may want to go back and visit).

We winged it in Sicily last summer and ended up having a great time. Was even able to get in some tours spontaneously.

Yes to all of this. Do not overplan. Eat the good food, literally croissants and wonderful baked goods every day. Walk around and just take it all in.

I am planning for a vacation and my plan is to plan about 50% of the days and just wing the rest. I have been making a PowerPoint file of all the potential plans so I can keep all the notes in one place. I know that my DH lie to wing it but DD and I like to have a plan.

[magnoliaparadise]

I say go, but I'm a big traveler. My DH passed away three years ago, so when we travel it's just me and the kids. I get that it's hard, but once we go, we never regret it. We've actually ramped up our travel since I became a single parent - it's something the kids and I bond over. Both of my kids have caught the travel bug and we all say it's our form of grief therapy My 15yo DD actually just left yesterday for a 7 week US State Department program in Amman, Jordan, and next year, my son (who will be 13) will be spending 2 weeks in China/Hong Kong and 4 weeks in Japan in a two month stretch.

I think you've gotten some good advice, but a few other things to consider:

• In Quebec City, if you still need to find lodging, consider Airbnb /VRBO(maybe you can get lucky and find a condo complex with a pool). We used Airbnb last year all throughout Croatia and Slovenia and it was much cheaper and nice to have a little more space to spread out and decompress at end of day
• Don't try to do everything - this used to be my problem when I traveled. I enjoy our trips much more now that I'm not pushing to constantly get to every attraction/venue. Do we miss some things? Sure, but we enjoy the things we do more
• Parks & Ice Cream/Pastries are key to everyone's enjoyment
• Use Uber if Needed! We generally walk or use public transportation when moving around a city, but don't be afraid to grab an Uber if kids are close to meltdown
• Tripadvisor: I know you said you're procrastinating with putting together the itinerary. If you peruse the forums on TripAdvisor for Montreal and Quebec City, you can put together some rough lists in less than an hour. Depending on the mood of those particular forums, you can often just post a question like "I have 3 kids, ages X, Y, Z and we'll be in Montreal for 4 days staying in this neighborhood - what would you do?" and people will respond and help you put together your itinerary
• Meals: For us, we generally eat out at lunch when we're traveling and often end up eating at hotel/Airbnb for breakfast and then just do snacks for dinner
• Wifi/Electronics: I also used to feel guilty when my kids would veg out for an hour or two at night watching Netflix when we were somewhere amazing like Paris, but I finally realized two things: they like to decompress with their device sometimes and this is their vacation too. Both of these realizations meant I loosened up some of those rules at night and I always look for places with decent wifi

I hope you decide to go and that you have a wonderful time!

Thank you, jenmcadams. This is beautiful. I was so touched when you said it was your form of grief therapy.