Been a While Since We Had Some Whine to Go With the Cheese ...

[lizzywednesday]

Today, I did pretty well while out shopping with DH (and DD) but still, I want to cry a little bit and whine a lot.

DH has been a pain in the backside about my skorts, which are wearing out, so he has a bit of a point.

Right now, his gripe, as it's been for the past 4 years, is that they're "not flattering." He's also told me my 8-year-old LE swimsuit (that mostly fits) is "not flattering."

We have this conversation every year leading into the family vacation. He b!tches about my clothes; I get huffy; he yells at me & gives me a variation on "THIS is why you fail!"; and I simultaneously want to strangle him and cry my eyes out.

But, anyway, the bottom line is, I need new bottoms - shorts, skorts, or skirts - as well as new pajamas, socks, & underwear. Oh and bras, including sports bras, and workout clothing. (Real effing bras, not the stupid Frederick's of Hollywood ones that DH likes to fantasize about.)

We went out with the idea we could possibly accomplish part of this today.

We came home with ... 2 tops and a pair of shoes. All of which I'm starting to worry that I don't strictly need (have plenty of tops, TBH, because I'm not going anywhere and the shoes are cute in a size 6, but look dopey in a size 10) and will be sorry we bought.

Anyway, I'm annoyed and I feel terrible about my body right now and I'm mad at DH for putting a "Friday I'm In Love" t-shirt on hold for me at the Lane Bryant Outlet because (1) it was gray; (2) I don't NEED any more freakin' tops; and (3) he thinks he's being cute, but I think it's stupid.

What's even worse is, despite knowing that crop pants won't work for my body, I tried some on and they were ... not at all good.

I didn't pout or huff, but I'm really feeling down.

[123LuckyMom]

I’m so sorry you’re not feeling happy. I do hope you enjoy your new things. Sometimes it’s okay even if you don’t strictly NEED something to get yourself something new and flattering just to boost your spirits and put a little spring in your step, so I hope that can happen for you. After so many years, it wouldn’t be the worst thing to pass on your old clothes to someone for whom they’ll be new and revamp your wardrobe. Also, even though this is the bitching post, I can’t help but offer a bra recommendation since you said you’re looking. The Elomi Matilda comes in a wide range of sizes. It’s incredibly supportive and fits beautifully, and it’s a very pretty bra! It’s sheer, so it has a little Frederick’s kind of flair while still offering coverage and support and being a “real” bra. As someone with a huge bust, it’s unusual for me to find a bra that’s both supportive and pretty, and this one does the trick!


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[jgenie]

I’m sorry you’re feeling down. You need to find a friend to shop with. Shopping with your DH doesn’t work for you. He has ideas of what he wants you to wear and those ideas don’t match up with what you are comfortable wearing. Add in the money issues and it’s a recipe for disaster. Hugs on the body issues - I’ve been working out and watching what I eat but I still can’t lose my middle age pudge and I hate everything I try on!!

[mikala]

I'm sorry you've had a rough time clothes shopping and it sounds like DH isn't especially supportive. Is there anyone else you could go with or who could help you evaluate fit using try on pics or anything? I've switched to almost entirely online shopping because I find it a lot easier to determine fit and see if something works with my existing wardrobe at home.

On the bright side, there are tons of holiday weekend sales so hopefully you can find some good deals when you try again. Nordstrom anniversary sale is coming up in a few weeks and might be helpful for bras. I've had luck with the A Bra that Fits size calculator for home fitting.

Let us know if you need help shopping or prioritizing your purchases. If you want a fashion specific group Putting Me Together blog has a very kind, supportive private Facebook group where ladies post try on pics, get fit and outfit suggestions, etc. You can join by buying their summer outfit guide.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Shopping with him sounds miserable. He can just zip it with the commentary too.

No shoe looks “dopey” in a bigger size, I promise you. All I notice is “cute shoes!” Not, “ugh, that lady’s feet are too big and she shouldn’t get to wear cute shoes”.

I know I risk opening a can of worms as you really have very specific ideas of what works for your body but if you haven’t tried maxi dresses (different cuts- they aren’t all the same!!), maybe they could work? I find they look pretty and aren’t binding in any way and will look comfy but pulled together. Throw on some slip shorts under (see the recent thread for ideas).


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[lizzywednesday]

...

I know I risk opening a can of worms as you really have very specific ideas of what works for your body but if you haven’t tried maxi dresses (different cuts- they aren’t all the same!!), maybe they could work? I find they look pretty and aren’t binding in any way and will look comfy but pulled together. Throw on some slip shorts under (see the recent thread for ideas).

Oh god, no, I can't wear unstructured anything - I look like I'm wearing a circus tent. Always have.

Honestly, the problem right now is the fact that I feel too "dressed up" if everyone else around me is wearing shorts or capris (and I despise capris, they look absolutely sh!tty on me) and I'm forced into a dress. And I love dresses!

[lizzywednesday]

I'm sorry you've had a rough time clothes shopping and it sounds like DH isn't especially supportive. Is there anyone else you could go with or who could help you evaluate fit using try on pics or anything? I've switched to almost entirely online shopping because I find it a lot easier to determine fit and see if something works with my existing wardrobe at home.

On the bright side, there are tons of holiday weekend sales so hopefully you can find some good deals when you try again. Nordstrom anniversary sale is coming up in a few weeks and might be helpful for bras. I've had luck with the A Bra that Fits size calculator for home fitting.

Let us know if you need help shopping or prioritizing your purchases. If you want a fashion specific group Putting Me Together blog has a very kind, supportive private Facebook group where ladies post try on pics, get fit and outfit suggestions, etc. You can join by buying their summer outfit guide.

Nope. He holds the purse strings and I'm not working right now (not by choice - sh!t kept happening with DD and my job search kept getting derailed) so shopping without him is impossible.

I have some bras from Soma that are pretty and supportive; I don't need a place to shop for them. I just need him to understand that, at my current bra size, they won't cost less than $40 each.

[lizzywednesday]

I’m sorry you’re feeling down. You need to find a friend to shop with. Shopping with your DH doesn’t work for you. He has ideas of what he wants you to wear and those ideas don’t match up with what you are comfortable wearing. Add in the money issues and it’s a recipe for disaster. Hugs on the body issues - I’ve been working out and watching what I eat but I still can’t lose my middle age pudge and I hate everything I try on!!

I don't have friends in state. Most of the time, I am OK with this. I actually hate shopping with friends, though - I'd rather do anything but!

[ellies mom]

Oh god, no, I can't wear unstructured anything - I look like I'm wearing a circus tent. Always have.

Honestly, the problem right now is the fact that I feel too "dressed up" if everyone else around me is wearing shorts or capris (and I despise capris, they look absolutely sh!tty on me) and I'm forced into a dress. And I love dresses!

I love casual knit skirts. I wear them in place of shorts.


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[BunnyBee]

Nope. He holds the purse strings and I'm not working right now (not by choice - sh!t kept happening with DD and my job search kept getting derailed) so shopping without him is impossible.

I have some bras from Soma that are pretty and supportive; I don't need a place to shop for them. I just need him to understand that, at my current bra size, they won't cost less than $40 each.

Uhhh what? Agree on a budget and go alone. That sounds scarily controlling.

I love Soma bras too, and I can almost always get them for under $40 with their sales and coupons. I usually luck out on the clearance rack too, as long as I don't care about colors.

I generally hate shopping too, and I try to do lots online and return. Good luck finding bottoms and a swimsuit! Have you tried Target? I had success there in swimsuits and some clothes the past few years before losing weight. Their new Ava + Viv line has things that aren't awful.