Listen to what people are saying...

[niccig]

I gotta vent and DH is done hearing it. Background: I posted that I was helping clean out my dad’s barn when I recently visited my parents. Over 30 years of dad hoarding wood, metal, plastic, car parts, tools, and a lot of it is junk. We found things from friend’s farms/businesses. It’s overwhelming but needs to get cleaned out as there’s termite damage to the supporting posts/beams. Mum is mad as its so much, and it falls to her as dad has Parkinson’s Disease and can’t help. DS and I helped her get over half-way done. My younger sister is visiting in a week and can keep helping.

Vent part: my younger sister will not listen to what you’re saying, then gets pissy you won’t do it her way and then you get in a fight and she storms off. I tried to tell her mum’s got a process for the cleaning out, but younger sister keeps posting on what’s app chat about doing things differently. Mum’s told her to back up, wait and there’s a process. What I want to tell younger sister is to just go help, do what they ask you to do, this is a very difficult, stressful time for Mum and Dad, so just shut up and do it their way.

It won’t happen. There’s going be a huge fight, and younger sister will leave early (done this before) and Mum will be left to do it all on her own.

And I’m half a world away again, and I can’t help Mum get it finished.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains

[trentsmom]

How frustrating! There's absolutely nothing you can do, and you'll get to hear all about it from both sides.

I've been reading about you and others on this board having to clean out all of the stuff from their parents' houses, and I know I'm looking at my future. Any time my dad buys a new kitchen gadget, all I can think is, "I'm going to be dealing with this gadget at some point." And I've started preparing my mom for the fact that many of the family heirlooms are not coming to my house when they break up housekeeping.

[niccig]

It’s frustrating that I couldn’t help finish the barn. We didn’t know the termite damage until half-way through my trip, so didn’t get started until then.

Mum is 68, Dad is 72 and they can’t do it on their own. They’ll probably have to though. My mum isn’t easy to deal with, I know that. It’s her house and barn and she’s already worked out a way to clean it. Just go along, get it done. Who cares if Mum pays for a trash haul away company and you want to rent a pick-up truck to do it cheaper. She doesn’t want a pick up truck, she wants to use the guy that will lift the heavy items. Makes sense


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains

[niccig]

I've been reading about you and others on this board having to clean out all of the stuff from their parents' houses, and I know I'm looking at my future. Any time my dad buys a new kitchen gadget, all I can think is, "I'm going to be dealing with this gadget at some point." And I've started preparing my mom for the fact that many of the family heirlooms are not coming to my house when they break up housekeeping.

Start early if you can! We all knew Dad’s barn would be a huge job to clean out, but we let it go and it’s way more than we thought. Dad also secreted things up back of their property that we haven’t dealt with as it’s outside and not a priority right now. Mum and dad’s house and garage is clean, but still lots of things to deal with there too eventually - too many closets!

I’m thinking each visit I suggest helping mum clean things out. It’ll mean less later, and it’ll be easier for her to maintain if less stuff.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains