Sport team with a side of guilt

[ezcc]

Ugh. DS goes to a very expensive private high school- athletics are part of the curriculum and he plays 3 seasons of sports. The sports programs get plenty of support from the school, coaches, facilities, equipment. His fall team has some very enthusiastic parents. They have a special booster fund and suggest a contribution of $150. They also ask for donations of snacks for games and run a concession stand during home games which they ask for donations and volunteers to staff it. Last year I made the contribution and brought in donations but didn't really help with the concession stand- I have two younger children that I need to pick up from school, and only occasionally make it to games - if I'm there I want to watch the game not sell soda in the hallway. It seems that some of the uber enthusiastic parents have graduated leaving a smaller number of moms (and it is only moms- dads seem to get a complete pass) who are really putting on the pressure- there seems to be less enthusiasm for this kind of thing among the 9th/10th grade parents (ds is in 10th) so I am just feeling a lot of guilt every time I go to one of these games. Honestly, if they don't have the volunteers they just shouldn't have the concession stand- as far as I know this particular sport is the only one that does this (his winter and spring teams ask absolutely nothing from parents as far as money, donations or time). I have committed to volunteer for the last shift for a Saturday tournament and of course about a million other things have come up for that time-I'm also the only one signed up for that shift which presumably will involve taking it all down. Just feeling a little bitter about the whole situation.

[SnuggleBuggles]

What does the $ go for from the concession stand sales? Just curious! I know this is a BP. (I run the concession stand for our HS swim team and know the work involved- luckily I have helpers and our kids are the same age- it'll probably die when we leave!)

[ezcc]

I think they buy lunch for the team when they are at away tournaments, coaches gifts, not really sure what else- it seems like the $150 donation per player should cover that stuff but I don't know.

[SnuggleBuggles]

That would annoy me. $150 each should cover that stuff.
Our concession stand pays for coach bonuses, team gifts and for the kids to attend the banquet for free.

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[hbridge]

Oh, I hear you about the dads getting a pass. DC is involved in an organization that has multi-day events. DH is praised up and downs about helping out and being there for a few hours for each event; this from moms who don't get any down time during the events at all! Father's just don't get involved and aren't really expected to. Drives me CRAZY!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Oh, I hear you about the dads getting a pass. DC is involved in an organization that has multi-day events. DH is praised up and downs about helping out and being there for a few hours for each event; this from moms who don't get any down time during the events at all! Father's just don't get involved and aren't really expected to. Drives me CRAZY!

All of our dad’s help.


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[firstbaby]

OP, I know this is the Bitching Post, so feel free to ignore my reply, but the need for volunteers is in line with our experience with school / rec sports and to divide the work up everyone needs to take on one shift. Are the games immediately after school? Maybe they know most dads don't do pick up so being available right after school isn't realistic for a commuting parent and it's mostly moms who pick up? I hear that you feel stretched with the logistics of your younger kids, too, but I bet most other parents are in the same boat with other kids to juggle. I'm often the team mom for my kids' sports and it's hard when parents can't or won't help for at least one volunteer shift. I don't know how popular the concession stand is, but we raise several hundred dollars each time we do one. Plus the younger siblings are always happy to have a little snack "store" open to them Since the team as a whole benefits from the sales, I wouldn't feel right not helping. I would let them know you will need someone's help with breakdown, though, if that would help you feel less bitter.

[ezcc]

Thanks for your reply- it was last weekend and I'm over it now and it went fine. To clarify, I don't mind helping when I can but I can't physically be in two places at once. I was just feeling surly last week because it just seemed really inconvenient. I couldn't even go to my sons' games which were earlier in the day. Usually they are weekdays and I can't be in two places at once- my other kids need to get picked up from school, I can't just leave them there . Of course many (most) other parents are in the same boat with other family/job requirements. The games are at 4, so within working hours. My issue is that I don't really see the need for this thing. The school has a million other sports and as far as I know this particular one is the only one that does this. I get that it is a nice thing to have, and I'm sure they use the money well but it just seems unnecessary to me. I think there are other parents that feel that way so that is probably why they have trouble getting volunteers. But I will try and have a better attitude about it .