UPDATED in OP: Opinions on this please

[MSWR0319]

UPDATE: So the teacher told DS to throw his pass away on Friday I talked to the principal when I went to take him clothes the day of his accident because she was talking to DS when I got to the office. She had asked me what was going on because she knows DS and knows that's not something he would typically have happen. I received a few texts from the teacher the night I posted the original message asking what had happened and how she doesn't know why DS would feel like he couldn't go. I have a feeling the principal had already talked to her because she then said "Well, I can consider getting rid of his pass." I then emailed the principal and told her what had happened fully. I'm not sure who decided to throw the pass away exactly, but glad it got taken care of. I have a feeling the teacher doesn't like me now that I've called her out on this and feeding PB cookies to the class. Oh well!!


I need some outside opinions on a situation. DS is in 4th grade. He has a 504 that allows him bathroom use whenever he needs it due to constipation issues and the bladder being overactive. His teacher this year has a "pass". The kids are allowed to have 5 trips to the bathroom each week. If they use none of those trips, they get a "dollar" towards using in the store they are allowed to go to each month. They get these dollars for positive behaviors but this one seems not really an incentive to do anything well but hold your pee. There is a matrix the teachers are to use, but then they are allowed to give them for their own items as well. She gives them for not using your passes. So today DS had an accident because he was waiting for her to mark his pass and he couldn't wait any longer. Am I crazy here or is it not right for him to have a pass? He is supposed to be allowed to go whenever. He shouldn't be "punished" for having to go. If he uses his 5 passes, he has to move his clip. I don't care if he has to move it, but he does, and so he'll hold it because he'll also lose a dollar for moving his clip. And in my mind he shouldn't be losing his "dollar" because he has to go. He can't help it. He's supposed to be drinking water all day long which makes him have to go. I'm not wrong on this one am I? He's supposed to be having free bathroom trips.

[trcy]

Why the heck are any of the students having their bathroom trips restricted?! My DD has no issues, but if she has to go, she has to go. Paying kids to hold it is ridiculous! I would be livid. Seems like you are asking for a UTI!

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[SnuggleBuggles]

You aren't overreacting. Talk to the teacher.

[AngB]

You aren't wrong. Poor DS!

[PZMommy]

The fact he has a 504 for these issues, makes the teacher in the wrong. I would talk to his teacher, and if that doesn’t work, go to whoever oversees the 504s (at my school it is a resource teacher). He should get to go whenever needed, not have to move a clip, and he should get that extra dollar irregardless of how many times he goes to the bathroom.

Some kids abuse bathroom privelleges, but as a teacher, I can usually tell after the first week which kids need to use the bathroom and which ones just want time out of the classroom. I’ve never used any kind of bathroom pass, but have talked to kids/parents when a student abuses my lenient bathroom policy in the upper grades.

[carolinamama]

I will never understand limiting bathroom trips for most kids. When you have to go, you have to go. Definitely talk to the teacher. I would even argue (nicely) that he doesn't have to worry about the whole bathroom pass thing. UGH.

[TwinFoxes]

The fact he has a 504 for these issues, makes the teacher in the wrong. I would talk to his teacher, and if that doesn’t work, go to whoever oversees the 504s (at my school it is a resource teacher). He should get to go whenever needed, not have to move a clip, and he should get that extra dollar irregardless of how many times he goes to the bathroom.

I'd be very, very upset if my kid had an accident because of some stupid rule, and I'd be even angrier if my kid had a 504. She should have re-thought the practice as soon as she read your son's 504!

[jgenie]

I would be livid that her policy led to him having an accident - livid! The embarrassment and shame he must have felt if it happened in class and other students were aware. I get why she does it but I would not be happy to find that system in one of my DC’s classrooms.

[JustMe]

Yep, totally agree that with the 504 your ds gets to go the bathroom whenever he says he needs to. Although this is not an excuse, is there any chance she doesn't know that your ds has a 504? This can sometimes happen as, at least back when my dd had one before her IEP, they didn't always notify the teachers, just put some little mark in their electronic records that teachers could click on but was easy to miss.

Perhaps a little TMI, but when I was in 4th grade I also had an accident due to an upset stomach and had to deal with a teacher like this. I didn't have/need a 504, but the rule in general is so problematic for many reasons.

[georgiegirl]

What the heck?!!!! No, just no. Kids should be able to go to the bathroom whenever they need to. I’m sure there are kids who abuse the privilege, but I’m sure a teacher can address that without promoting holding pee and poop all day long. That’s just really unhealthy.