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  1. #1
    citymama is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Default Quick question: how much for a bar mitzvah cash gift?

    I know the young man in question is saving up for an Xbox. What's the standard rate for a bar mitzvah as a family friend? All 4 of us are going but just attending ceremony and kiddush, not invited to the after party for his close friends and family. He's in a medium COL area, not NYC or LA or SF.

    for Sandy Hook



  2. #2
    sariana is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    A multiple of 18 is traditional, whatever is comfortable for you. We gave our neighbors' daughters $54. I don't know how that compared to others' gifts, though. It was a HCOL area.
    DS '04 "Boogaboo"
    DD '08 "Lilybear"

  3. #3
    citymama is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by sariana View Post
    A multiple of 18 is traditional, whatever is comfortable for you. We gave our neighbors' daughters $54. I don't know how that compared to others' gifts, though. It was a HCOL area.
    Ooh, thanks for that helpful tip. I should know that (my daughter will have her bar mitzvah next year) but I didn't know!

    for Sandy Hook



  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by sariana View Post
    A multiple of 18 is traditional, whatever is comfortable for you. We gave our neighbors' daughters $54. I don't know how that compared to others' gifts, though. It was a HCOL area.
    We gave $54 to all of DS1's friends as well.
    Latia (Birth & Postpartum Doula and Infant Nanny)
    Conner 8/19/03 (My 1st home birthed water baby!)
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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by essnce629 View Post
    We gave $54 to all of DS1's friends as well.
    I think that that amount would be an average amount here for one child who attended a bat mitzvah alone (ie a classmate). The price would be higher IMHO for if a whole family attended the bar/bat mitzvah.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnoliaparadise View Post
    I think that that amount would be an average amount here for one child who attended a bat mitzvah alone (ie a classmate). The price would be higher IMHO for if a whole family attended the bar/bat mitzvah.
    Yes, for a kid attending alone that is fine but if you know them well enough for an entire family to attend, needs to be over $100.


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  7. #7
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    We gave $54 when DS1 went to his friend's bar mitzvah. He attended the ceremony and the party afterwards.
    Mommy to 2 DS's (2003 and 2007)

  8. #8
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    Around here $36 is common for a kid to give, some even give only $18. However, if my whole family was invited I would be north of $100.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnoliaparadise View Post
    I think that that amount would be an average amount here for one child who attended a bat mitzvah alone (ie a classmate). The price would be higher IMHO for if a whole family attended the bar/bat mitzvah.
    Yes, you're probably right. DS1's attended all of his friends' bar mitzvahs alone.

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    Latia (Birth & Postpartum Doula and Infant Nanny)
    Conner 8/19/03 (My 1st home birthed water baby!)
    Parker 5/23/09 (My 2nd home birthed water baby!)

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