medical issues and college student.

[hbridge]

So I do have a question that doesn't give too much information... Thank you for being patient with me.

DC is home from their third semester of college and going through significant medical issues. There is a lot of confusion, but it appears to be an autoimmune issue, possibly medication induced. The medication is paramount to DC functioning.

We have not yet discussed much with the medical staff, but there is a strong likelihood that DC will have to go off of this medication. DC is freaking out (as am I). IF the issue is medication induced, it's dangerous to stay on the medication. However, for DC, it is life altering to go off the medication.

DC is a dedicated college student with plans that may be derailed in the next couple of weeks. My new job may also be derailed (DC doesn't drive), but that's another issue...

I need to present DC with options if returning to campus in January becomes unlikely. I am thinking an asychronous class may fill some of the education void. Taking a virtual class or in-person will be stressful if they need to miss a class due to medical.

If that is what DC decides, what do they need to know? Technology is NOT something they are good with.

[hbridge]

Edited to add a new concern...

[LBW]

Are asynchronous classes an option at DC’s school? And if so is there still time to register? Or are you thinking about having them take a semester off and finding something locally? If so I’d start looking into options at community colleges.

I’d also look into medical accommodations at DC’s school. They may be able to get an accommodation that allows them addition absences if having to miss class is stressful.

[hbridge]

Are asynchronous classes an option at DC’s school? And if so is there still time to register? Or are you thinking about having them take a semester off and finding something locally? If so I’d start looking into options at community colleges.

I’d also look into medical accommodations at DC’s school. They may be able to get an accommodation that allows them addition absences if having to miss class is stressful.

I just checked and there appears to be a handful of asynchronous options at DC's school. DC will definitely let the professor know what is going on. They will probably need to take the semester off from living on campus and taking a full schedule, but will not be able to work or commit to a virtual class schedule. I am actually not sure if they will even be able to do anything. DC has been struggling with health issues that sometimes make attending class difficult and have been muddling through with a full course load. However, if they need to go off this medication and deal with the repercussions of that and with healing the auto-immune issue, the added stress of a scheduled class will be too much. That is why I was thinking asychronous might be a better fit. They could work when they felt up to it, without the stress of being somewhere at a specific time. Worst case scenario, they withdraw at some point if the class is too much. Honestly, the thought of DC being home for an entire semester (and summer) without structure and possibly dysregulated, is very stressful.

We have looked into medical accommodations for past semesters. Essentially, there is no accommodation, just sharing of information.

[echoesofspring]

Obviously don’t have any college specific advice, but if they do go async on classes is there a way to have regular accountability/coaching etc. ? As an adult with out any medical issues I have found it challenging sometimes to “stay the course” even when it’s something I am enjoying (and have paid for) . I’ve heard stories (in this board and from my brother) when async classes didn’t have much support out of the box so I think I’d want to make sure DC could be successful - and it wasn’t just another stress for you all .

I hope you’re able to get some answers for DC !

[hbridge]

Obviously don’t have any college specific advice, but if they do go async on classes is there a way to have regular accountability/coaching etc. ? As an adult with out any medical issues I have found it challenging sometimes to “stay the course” even when it’s something I am enjoying (and have paid for) . I’ve heard stories (in this board and from my brother) when async classes didn’t have much support out of the box so I think I’d want to make sure DC could be successful - and it wasn’t just another stress for you all .

I hope you’re able to get some answers for DC !

That's why I was thinking only one class.... Maybe I should look into Community College classes instead... DC goes to a college with a unique credit schedule so I was hoping to keep them on that schedule so there isn't confusion later, but that might not be the right call.

Honestly, I am freaking out. DC has reduced this medication in the past and it was a disaster. Experience is telling me that I will have to give up my job and my activities this semester if this happens. This was the year I was going to do some things for me, I had just put together a wonderful schedule for myself. ARGH.

DH thinks I am creating drama! Nope, I just am seeing how things are possibly going to play out. Unfortunately, I am typically correct. DH, on the other hand, often plans for what he hopes will happen...

[pinkmomagain]

If they go off this medication, will the prescriber be onboarding an alternative medication to address the symptoms/condition? Perhaps titrating so that a transition in medications is not too disruptive?

Another thought is, if a college-level class is too much this semester, can your child be working on other helpful skills over the next few months (ie. driving, cooking, financial skills)? And maybe by summer they would be able to take a summer class or two?

[hbridge]

If they go off this medication, will the prescriber be onboarding an alternative medication to address the symptoms/condition? Perhaps titrating so that a transition in medications is not too disruptive?

I am hoping the prescriber has a plan. We tried to switch to a different medication at the beginning of last summer and it was a disaster. He is aware that this is a possibility.

We won't know until we actually do it just how disruptive this will be. In a perfect world, DC would just carry on, but we know better than that. There is a lot we don't know yet. DC is completely miserable.

[California]

I am so sorry that your family is going through this. It sounds like your DC figured out how to manage classes (muddling through is still making it through!) and you just set up a sweet schedule, and now this. Completely justified to be upset.

The second thought that comes to mind: Consider hiring at-home support (even a recent college grad.) Match the hours you work so you keep your job. If someone who is not a parent helps DC for part of the day, DC may regulate themselves better and feel less dependent on you and your DH.

Their college most likely has some sort of medical deferral program where they can take a break for a semester and return.

I shared on here a couple of years ago that a relative was struck by an Amazon driver who veered off road into a jogging trail. My relative is taking a couple of community college classes to test the waters, and the CC has a better accommodations program (from what I hear from her) than our local universities. It’s a smaller college and much more personal and the professors have been very caring. That is just one CC, but it’d be worth checking out your CC to see if they offer what you are looking for. It could be something of high interest, or something that will help them take a future class at their college (like maybe they want to improve their writing skills, or explore a potential major.)

[JustMe]

What a difficult time for you and your family! I am not sure I have any real advice. If I understand correctly you know dc will need some structure but not sure if/what they will be able to do? An asynchronous class certainly sounds like it may be the best idea, especially if it is something they can drop. I am wondering if they take a class at community college and if they need to withdraw if that would have any negative consequence on their colllege transcript? if not, this might e a good reason to go with community college.

I like the idea of you hiring someone and being able to keep your job, but I am sure there may be variables we dont know about.

The other way I would think about this is what is going to work for dc's mental health....like can they use an app that is for mental health/meditation? Maybe this is part of the expectation if not doing school or not doing much school.

I know you mentioned they are not good with technology...not sure what they can or cannot do, but maybe focusing on if there is anything that can be taught/learned that is needed to take a class/use apps right now if that is possible.