Sleep aids - what works best for you?

[essnce629]

Latia, does the eye mask stay on when you’re sleeping?? I have to keep readjusting mine during the night


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Yes, it stays on. I wore it last night and it stayed on till I took it off this morning. No readjusting.

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[essnce629]

Wow, thank you for typing that all out, Latia! My Dh has a terrible time staying asleep. I’d like to incorporate some of your ideas at our house but I have some questions that I hope you don’t mind me asking. Do you need all these steps because you have a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep? Do your kids sleep ok or did you start some of these steps to help them sleep too? In short- why did you need all that (no criticism here because there are lots of reasons people can’t fall asleep or stay asleep and so some of your techniques might be helpful for us and some might not). What are the steps you can’t sleep without? Like which ones are most helpful for you?

I've always been a natural night owl and used to stay up till like 2am or later all the time. And then be exhausted the next day. I'm trying to make sleep my #1 priority and I'm the type of person who needs a ton of sleep, like 9 hours to not feel exhausted. And now that I'm back in school and need to be alert during the day with a functional brain I knew I had to train myself to go to bed at a normal time. DH used to always go to bed hours before me but now I'm usually in bed first and asleep first. My issue has always been falling asleep, not staying asleep, although I know that often creeps up during perimenopause (I'm 42). I pretty much do all the steps every single day, except the massaging sleep mask and regular sleep mask. The shower steamers aren't every day either because lots of times I'm already tired as I step into the shower. I think the most important is the dimming of the lights because your brain naturally associates darkness with sleep. So just doing everything in the dimmed light for an hour before bed makes me tired. I also make sure my house is super bright during the day and use a super bright light therapy lamp whenever I'm in the kitchen. I never skip the melatonin or hypnosis either. I think the darkness, melatonin, and shower before bed triggers my brain that it's time to sleep. And then focusing on the hypnosis settles my brain and keeps me from thinking about other things.

DS1 is a terrible sleeper now that he's older (20) and on his own. He has no sleep hygiene routine in place and is up with bright lights and on his phone which keeps him awake. It's actually a major issue for him and affects his mental health. He's back in college right now so I'm trying to work with him to get a routine in place (sent him his weighted blanket and melatonin). He believes he has ASD and possibly ADHD, and sleep is often a major challenge in that population. But I think the main hindrance is the lights/computer/phone.

DS2 (14) is a great sleeper and has much of the same routine that I have. No screens, bedroom light dims automatically, shower before bed, melatonin, sound machine, fan, and air purifier going and magnesium glycinate daily. He usually listens to an audiobook through Alexa as he falls asleep.

We've had our Phillips Hue light bulbs in all our lamps since 2016, so we've done the dimmed lighting at night for 8 years now. I was always super strict with their sleep schedules.

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[gatorsmom]

I've always been a natural night owl and used to stay up till like 2am or later all the time. And then be exhausted the next day. I'm trying to make sleep my #1 priority and I'm the type of person who needs a ton of sleep, like 9 hours to not feel exhausted. And now that I'm back in school and need to be alert during the day with a functional brain I knew I had to train myself to go to bed at a normal time. DH used to always go to bed hours before me but now I'm usually in bed first and asleep first. My issue has always been falling asleep, not staying asleep, although I know that often creeps up during perimenopause (I'm 42). I pretty much do all the steps every single day, except the massaging sleep mask and regular sleep mask. The shower steamers aren't every day either because lots of times I'm already tired as I step into the shower. I think the most important is the dimming of the lights because your brain naturally associates darkness with sleep. So just doing everything in the dimmed light for an hour before bed makes me tired. I also make sure my house is super bright during the day and use a super bright light therapy lamp whenever I'm in the kitchen. I never skip the melatonin or hypnosis either. I think the darkness, melatonin, and shower before bed triggers my brain that it's time to sleep. And then focusing on the hypnosis settles my brain and keeps me from thinking about other things.

DS1 is a terrible sleeper now that he's older (20) and on his own. He has no sleep hygiene routine in place and is up with bright lights and on his phone which keeps him awake. It's actually a major issue for him and affects his mental health. He's back in college right now so I'm trying to work with him to get a routine in place (sent him his weighted blanket and melatonin). He believes he has ASD and possibly ADHD, and sleep is often a major challenge in that population. But I think the main hindrance is the lights/computer/phone.

DS2 (14) is a great sleeper and has much of the same routine that I have. No screens, bedroom light dims automatically, shower before bed, melatonin, sound machine, fan, and air purifier going and magnesium glycinate daily. He usually listens to an audiobook through Alexa as he falls asleep.

We've had our Phillips Hue light bulbs in all our lamps since 2016, so we've done the dimmed lighting at night for 8 years now. I was always super strict with their sleep schedules.

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Thank you for adding this. It’s really helpful. Several of the issues you mentioned with your ds1 are very familiar here. I don’t think I taught my kids great sleep habits because I never had trouble sleeping and didn’t understand really that other people do. I guess I never thought about it except that I believed people who were up at night wanted to be up. But now ds2 has horrible sleep habits and so does Dh. Ds3 will stay asleep once he’s asleep but his adhd can sometimes prevent him from relaxing. Dd is more like me, thank goodness. So maybe I should start subtly changing out the lightbulbs, starting fmaily prayers earlier in the night (we don’t eat family dinner together but we get together for prayers), and encouring the kids to switch to blue light screens at a certain time each night or no screens at all if they can help it. And we need to talk about this. Dh especially needs to warn the kids about his troubles sleeping. I gotta get better about this sleep stuff!

[SnuggleBuggles]

It probably won’t help when traveling because routines are thrown off but routines are what work for me. During the pandemic I set a lot of time milestones during the day to help make things feel normal. 11pm- up to bed. Take care of my bedtime hygiene stuff. Read a while. At some point I get up and use the bathroom one last time. I come back to read and within 8 minutes, I shut my e-reader, put in my earplugs and go to sleep (other nights…other things first). Almost always asleep by midnight. That last bathroom run seems to trigger my brain to know sleep is coming because even if I wasn’t super tired before it, it’s like I’m primed to sleep and my eyes start getting heavy.
I have always, always been a believer in dimming the lights after dinner. I never understand how people keep their lights on full bright all evening.


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[JustMe]

Do you take it at a particular time?

I’just take it 10 to 15 minutes before I go to bed. I think it is recommended to take it a little bit before that (like maybe 30 minutes), but this seems to work well for me. I don’t always fall asleep immediately, but it kicks in pretty quickly for me. If I take it before then it doesn’t work for me because I move around and do things and somehow that interferes for me.

[gatorsmom]

It probably won’t help when traveling because routines are thrown off but routines are what work for me. During the pandemic I set a lot of time milestones during the day to help make things feel normal. 11pm- up to bed. Take care of my bedtime hygiene stuff. Read a while. At some point I get up and use the bathroom one last time. I come back to read and within 8 minutes, I shut my e-reader, put in my earplugs and go to sleep (other nights…other things first). Almost always asleep by midnight. That last bathroom run seems to trigger my brain to know sleep is coming because even if I wasn’t super tired before it, it’s like I’m primed to sleep and my eyes start getting heavy.
I have always, always been a believer in dimming the lights after dinner. I never understand how people keep their lights on full bright all evening.


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Wow, see at 7pm, we are in full “second wind” mode over here. Frequently the kitchen lights are on bright and everyone is in the midst of their projects. Ds2 has usually got the music on in the garage while he’s working on his car, dd is still at dance class for another hour or 2, ds3 and I are still studying or he’s in full on gaming mode, and Dh is busily tapping away at his laptop. I’m either neck deep in crafting projects while chugging caffeine or falling asleep on the sofa. But no one is slowing down over here. I’m not even sure we could. We’ve been like this for so long.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Wow, see at 7pm, we are in full “second wind” mode over here. Frequently the kitchen lights are on bright and everyone is in the midst of their projects. Ds2 has usually got the music on in the garage while he’s working on his car, dd is still at dance class for another hour or 2, ds3 and I are still studying or he’s in full on gaming mode, and Dh is busily tapping away at his laptop. I’m either neck deep in crafting projects while chugging caffeine or falling asleep on the sofa. But no one is slowing down over here. I’m not even sure we could. We’ve been like this for so long.

There are lots of nights we aren’t home until 9 but the lights are never kept bright at night when we are home. We can do lots of the things you list with lower light. We used to be more lively with games like Just Dance, Mario Party…up until it was time for bed but the lights in that room were always low. It works for us


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[elektra]

I've always been a natural night owl and used to stay up till like 2am or later all the time. And then be exhausted the next day. I'm trying to make sleep my #1 priority and I'm the type of person who needs a ton of sleep, like 9 hours to not feel exhausted. And now that I'm back in school and need to be alert during the day with a functional brain I knew I had to train myself to go to bed at a normal time. DH used to always go to bed hours before me but now I'm usually in bed first and asleep first. My issue has always been falling asleep, not staying asleep, although I know that often creeps up during perimenopause (I'm 42). I pretty much do all the steps every single day, except the massaging sleep mask and regular sleep mask. The shower steamers aren't every day either because lots of times I'm already tired as I step into the shower. I think the most important is the dimming of the lights because your brain naturally associates darkness with sleep. So just doing everything in the dimmed light for an hour before bed makes me tired. I also make sure my house is super bright during the day and use a super bright light therapy lamp whenever I'm in the kitchen. I never skip the melatonin or hypnosis either. I think the darkness, melatonin, and shower before bed triggers my brain that it's time to sleep. And then focusing on the hypnosis settles my brain and keeps me from thinking about other things.

I have always been a night owl too, and have always hated waking up early. I always thought I would grow out of it, but I'm still waiting! If I try to go to bed early I just lay there and toss and turn so it's pointless.
So I too have more problems falling asleep. And thankfully, while I occasionally wake up, I can usually sleep all night, especially at home.

My current thing that I've been doing since the beginning of the year is when I'm home in the morning about 2-3x a week is I wake up with the kids to help get them breakfast and pack some lunch for them (not necessary but I like to get up and help them in the morning when I'm around), and then I go back to bed and sleep til like 10! I feel so guilty about it. But I justify it in that I have waiting 17 years to sleep in, or my whole working life basically! And it of course makes going to bed earlier even more difficult.

My work schedule is weird and inconsistent and I travel on weekends. I think I need to have a home routine and a travel routine. The thing is, I often have to have a meeting late at night and then just want to go right to sleep and I am unable to. So a long routine won't work well for me. I need a shorter routine that has a physical/chemical component in addition to the mental relaxation.

[gatorsmom]

It probably wonÂ’t help when traveling because routines are thrown off but routines are what work for me. During the pandemic I set a lot of time milestones during the day to help make things feel normal. 11pm- up to bed. Take care of my bedtime hygiene stuff. Read a while. At some point I get up and use the bathroom one last time. I come back to read and within 8 minutes, I shut my e-reader, put in my earplugs and go to sleep (other nightsÂ…other things first). Almost always asleep by midnight. That last bathroom run seems to trigger my brain to know sleep is coming because even if I wasnÂ’t super tired before it, itÂ’s like IÂ’m primed to sleep and my eyes start getting heavy.
I have always, always been a believer in dimming the lights after dinner. I never understand how people keep their lights on full bright all evening.


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Wow, see at 7pm, we are in full “second wind” mode over here. Frequently the kitchen lights are on bright and everyone is in the midst of their projects. Ds2 has usually got the music on in the garage while he’s working on his car, dd is still at dance class for another hour or 2, ds3 and I are still studying or he’s in full on gaming mode, and Dh is busily tapping away at his laptop. I’m either neck deep in crafting projects while chugging caffeine or falling asleep on the sofa. But no one is slowing down over here. I’m not even sure we could.

[niccig]

I have a pretty detailed sleep hygiene routine:

All the lamps in my house have smart light bulbs. After dinner I turn off all overhead lights and at 9:30pm (or sometimes 9pm) all the lamps in the living room and my bedroom dim automatically. I use the Twilight app on my phone and that automatically kicks in around then too as a blue light filter/blocker. I take 1mg of melatonin every evening about an hour before I plan to go to bed, right before getting in the shower. Studies show that lower doses of melatonin work best and you should start at 1mg. People with ADHD/ASD tend to have lower levels of naturally occurring melatonin and studies show they may need a higher dose. When I take a shower I shut the bathroom lights off completely (even though they're on dimmers) and shower with a bright nightlight only! If I'm not tired I'll shower with a lavender shower steamer (1 lasts me 2 showers). In bed I sleep with 3 fans on, windows open, and an air purifier which acts as white noise and keeps the room freezing, which is better for sleep. To stay cool, I don't sleep with clothes on. In bed, if not yet tired, I do a session with my massaging/heated eye mask. It plays relaxing music and auto shuts off at 15 minutes. Then I put on my bluetooth sleep headband and listen to my deep sleep hypnosis. I'm always asleep by the time it's done (35 minutes). On the weekends when I'm sleeping in I use an eye mask. I also take magnesium glycinate every night at dinner. My bedroom is also complete blackness, with blackout shades and curtains and all tiny power lights on the TV, laptop, air purifier, etc covered up.

When traveling I try to do the same sleep hygiene routine. Air conditioner is put on freezing in the hotel room, I cover all annoying lights in the room (like the microwave clock), and use a travel sound machine.

Melatonin
https://a.co/d/3JLVEyG

Massaging Eye Mask
https://a.co/d/fnGUeKI

Lavender Shower Steamers
https://a.co/d/hMT1IoB

Magnesium Glycinate
https://a.co/d/3UsYmYk

Bluetooth Headband
https://a.co/d/amDqnhv

Free Hypnosis (there's multiple sleep ones)
https://www.freehypnosissessions.com...osis-sessions/

Travel Sound Machine
https://a.co/d/atlqE3m

Eye Mask
https://a.co/d/awl921K


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Wanted to update that the sleep hypnosis sessions have been helping me sleep better. On the nights I don’t listen to it, I feel it takes me longer to go to sleep and I don’t sleep as well. I’m going to get the headband to wear as my AirPods aren’t as comfortable. I have no idea what the last half of the hypnosis session says as I’m asleep by then! I’ve still had some disordered sleep nights, but I’ve gone back to sleep quickly and only woke DH once, which is an improvement!

Thanks Latia for sharing all your sleep aids!


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