Would you do anything about this? Or let her figure it out on her own?

[gatorsmom]

Our high schoolers got their 3rd quarter report cards yesterday. DD has all A's. This is also our kid who is working on her Eagle Project for her Boy Scout troop and is taking 5 days of pre-professional ballet classes every week. All of her teachers had wonderful comments on her report card. But this one makes me wonder if we should step in. I have talked to DD about it and she agrees she should try harder to develop healthy habits. But even once she's out of Boy Scouts, next fall she is trying for a difficult technical part in their ballet production. So it's not like things are going to slow down. If anything, they will ramp up. Here is the comment of her Biology teacher:

"Jane continues to do very well in Biology class. She knows what's going on. She turns in good quality work. She asks good questions and has thoughtful insights. What makes it even more impressive is that she is often struggling to stay awake in my class! I know she has a lot of activities going on and she is clearly maintaining her academics in my class, but I do worry about her health and overall life balance. My biology challenge to her for her last quarter is to get enough sleep so her growing mind can form lasting neural connections! Apart from that, keep up the wonderful work, Jane!"

Would you do anything about this? Although DD doesn't show signs of any problems, depression, anxiety and alcoholism run in both DH and my families. So, I try to encourage healthy habits as much as possible.

[jacksmomtobe]

You mention that you talked to Dd about this issue. What was her response? Did she have any ideas on why she is struggling to stay awake? Did she have any solutions? Is it her schedule that is keeping her from getting to sleep at a decent hour or is it that she has so much work to do related to her course load etc that is preventing sleep? Is there any way she can use her time more effectively in order to get more sleep in at night? Clearly this is something that is noticeable to the Teacher and is ongoing. I think you want to include dd in the solution but you should advise her from an adult perspective. See if she has any thoughts on what the issue is and if she feels something else needs to give. Possibly there is something she doing that she perceives is important to you that might not be the case. You don’t mention what yr in hs she is but it sounds like she has at least one more of high school to go. I think you want to work on solving this issue now so that when she goes to college or is on her own she has a foundation to make healthy choices and find some balance. Also maybe you can figure out a bit of relief for now but also discuss how she will handle commitments for next year such as the ballet portion and you can come up with a workable proactive solution or set ground rules of what will give if things become too much.

[carolinamama]

I suspect most higher achieving high school kids are experiencing the same. Their bodies want to stay up late and sleep later than possible. Plus there are activities, homework and socializing. I remember struggling to make it through class awake at that age. I would keep an eye on your DD and make sure she continues to handle the workload but otherwise it sounds like she's a great kid.

Last year our awesome pedi told me he knows teens will be busy and tired. If they are waking and making it to school on their own each morning without showing concerning signs, it's a good sign they are doing okay with their workload and rest. It made me stress less about DS1 staying up later than ideal, usually doing homework and then decompressing.

[AnnieW625]

Op you need to let your daughter know about this. Something most like BSA imho has to take a backseat until the summer. You cannot dismiss her falling asleep in class. Good luck and thank her teacher for bringing it up to you.

My DD1 goes to bed by 11 most nights and has to be up by 6:30 am but most days it is closer to 7. She needs to leave the house by 7:25. It is not enough time but I have a hard time getting her to go to bed before 10 pm which is really when she should be going to bed.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

It either is what it is (if she’s drowsy sometimes, ok). Or, something has to give. Can her BSA project be pushed til summer, like Annie suggests?


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[frugalmom]

What is her schedule? How much sleep is she getting? Is it good sleep? Maybe working on getting good sleep would help? Earplugs, white noise, eye mask, sleep supplements.

I have 5 kids that are all very serious ballet dancers. Well the oldest 3 are. The younger two have stepped up their hours this year, but are still pretty young. They are all get all As in school are in tons of clubs at school (math team, newspaper, year book, NHS, student council). The oldest is also almost taking a full load of college classes while also a full load of high school classes this semester. One works. The other 2 volunteer, one kid is doing 6 hours of that a week. Our commute to ballet is the shortest it has ever been at 45 mins each way. However they don't go to brick in mortar school so they can do late nights and wake up when their bodies are ready or when their first live class is 4 days a week. Some of mine don't have any live classes, their choice. We could never do the outside activities at the level they do them if they went to normal school. Not the reason we started homeschooling but it has 1000% worked in their favor at this point. I talk to parents of kids at normal school and I have no clue how they are doing it everyday without being crazy tired. They get up at 5:30 am to be able to get the bus at 6:30. Dude we struggle to once in a while leave the house at 8:15, because we normally don't.

It is really hard because I think as the kids get older their outside activities go later in the night.

[gatorsmom]

Op you need to let your daughter know about this. Something most like BSA imho has to take a backseat until the summer. You cannot dismiss her falling asleep in class. Good luck and thank her teacher for bringing it up to you.

My DD1 goes to bed by 11 most nights and has to be up by 6:30 am but most days it is closer to 7. She needs to leave the house by 7:25. It is not enough time but I have a hard time getting her to go to bed before 10 pm which is really when she should be going to bed.


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Dd knows she needs more sleep. She mentioned the report card comment before I did. Like yours, she struggles to go to sleep before 11am. She doesn’t get up until 7am and then races out the door, brushing her hair and putting on makeup in the car (her brother drives them to school each morning). But I think this kid could really use more than 8 hours of sleep each night like me.

She is a Sophomore in high school. When we talked about it, her solution was to drink more caffeine. Getting enough sleep is a problem in our house.

[gatorsmom]

It either is what it is (if she’s drowsy sometimes, ok). Or, something has to give. Can her BSA project be pushed til summer, like Annie suggests?


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I think it needs to stay at this level. She has an agreement to do her Eagle Project on April 13th with the YMCA and then she will be so close to done with BSA. And it’s a quiet time in our calendar right now because she isn’t putting in extra rehearsals for anything. This summer she will be heading off to 2 two week camps, a high school trip abroad and possibly a part time job at our dentist’s office. So the summer won’t be much quieter.

I guess I’m wondering how much I should worry about this. How much can these poor sleep habits mess up her life? Once her Eagle Project is done she will finish up one merit badge and then SHE IS DONE with BScouts. Completely finished and she wants to move on. So it makes sense to get it done now.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I’d just let it be. Maybe this is her easy class so she does let herself doze a bit. Maybe the class is really boring. Maybe it’s at a point in the day where energy is low? Maybe the room is extra warm and cozy? She is doing fine academically (grade wise) so I’d let it be. Is it ideal? No. But, I bet a lot of us can think back on classes we sometimes snoozed in.


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[echoesofspring]

I think at this point I would let everything continue as it is but I would discourage increased caffeine consumption, and make sure that when she does go to bed that she's trying to do as much 'sleep hygiene' as possible to make the most of that time (no phone in bed, etc.)

I’d just let it be. Maybe this is her easy class so she does let herself doze a bit. Maybe the class is really boring. Maybe it’s at a point in the day where energy is low? Maybe the room is extra warm and cozy? She is doing fine academically (grade wise) so I’d let it be. Is it ideal? No. But, I bet a lot of us can think back on classes we sometimes snoozed in.

^^^ This - like is she sleepy b/c of when it just falls in her cicadian rhythms, or b/c she just had a sugary or high carb meal, or it's boring/warm. I def had classes in college I struggled staying awake in for a host of reasons not really sleep related. It's not a bad idea to learn how to hide it, she's lucky this teacher is understanding, but not all of them would be.