College acceptances...now what?

[essnce629]

My high school senior has gotten into 7 of the 10, denied at 2 and on the waitlist at one of the favorites.

Currently he’s deciding between 2. One is considered highly competitive and getting in was a surprise. He’s gotten many unsolicited opinions that the more competitive school is a no brainer. DS has said the other school feels like home but feels like he’s making a bad decision choosing the “home” school over competitive school. He visited competitive school recently and did not like it at all. He’s going back with a couple of friends in a couple of weeks who were also admitted. I’m leaving it completely up to him. Sounds like the podcast mentioned here might help him.

3 years ago my friend's DD got into both UC Santa Barbara and UC Berkeley. She too got the unsolicited advice that she couldn't possibly turn down Cal, even from her twin brother. She never thought she'd get into Cal and visited both, but UCSB was what she was drawn to and what seemed like the best fit. So she turned down Cal and couldn't be happier. She's a double major in Aquatic Biology and something else and had a professor freshman year that took her under her wing and became a fantastic mentor. She's done a ton of research and has even presented at a big conference. She has zero regrets and UCSB was definitely the best choice. Just because everyone is dying for the super popular name brand shoe, it does you no good if you get it and it's super uncomfortable! Go for the best fit!

[georgiegirl]

Your kid needs select the school that feels right for them even if it’s not the most selective school.

We toured Caltech and DD absolutely hated it. She could feel the intensity and knew she’d be miserable there. Campus was beautiful though. Vibe is super important

[niccig]

I would let him know that it is perfectly fine, even great to choose the "lesser" school that feels like a good fit!!

Absolutely!! This is his decision to make and he should be happy with these soon and not feel pressured

We didn’t tell anyone where DS was accepted so he didn’t feel pressured by other people’s opinions.

Advice from my school psychologist when I asked her where her daughter was accepted. She said there’s enough pressure on this decision without grandma, other relatives, family friends giving their opinion. When people asked me, I told them I wasn’t saying as it was DS’ information to tell


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[smilequeen]

My high school senior has gotten into 7 of the 10, denied at 2 and on the waitlist at one of the favorites.

Currently he’s deciding between 2. One is considered highly competitive and getting in was a surprise. He’s gotten many unsolicited opinions that the more competitive school is a no brainer. DS has said the other school feels like home but feels like he’s making a bad decision choosing the “home” school over competitive school. He visited competitive school recently and did not like it at all. He’s going back with a couple of friends in a couple of weeks who were also admitted. I’m leaving it completely up to him. Sounds like the podcast mentioned here might help him.

I’m going to agree with others…it’s completely fine to pick the school that feels like home. It’s likely better in the long run. High school me chose the school that had the more prestigious name and I regretted it so much. It didn’t feel like home, I didn’t feel like I fit in…and when I transferred I was so incredibly happy…and happy equals more success

[acmom]

I’m going to agree with others…it’s completely fine to pick the school that feels like home. It’s likely better in the long run. High school me chose the school that had the more prestigious name and I regretted it so much. It didn’t feel like home, I didn’t feel like I fit in…and when I transferred I was so incredibly happy…and happy equals more success

Me too! I picked one of the strongest academic schools I got into, even though I LOVED one of the others (my "safety school") and really felt at home there. My pick was based on one of my parents discouraging me from that second "less strong" school. I did fine at the school I attended and did like it, but I always wonder if I would have been happier at the other. My goal is not to do that to my kids!

[anonomom]

I thought I was doing so well at this college thing, but I gotta be honest, my plan to be the cool, supportive but detached mom is teetering a little.

All throughout this process, I've noticed DC focusing in on just one school at a time, to the exclusion of all others (even as they filled out apps to those schools). I've refrained from commenting, because I understand that was in part my kid's effort not to fall in love with any school before they were admitted. This past weekend, they were at an admitted students day for one (perfectly lovely, excellent) school when they received their admission to another school that I honestly think would be a perfect fit for them. But because of the way our schedule works this coming month, they won't get a chance to visit that school for at least another three weeks (and even then, not for an official admitted students day), and meanwhile, they've pretty much decided they want to go to the school they visited this past weekend.

If it were a matter of DC having evaluated both schools and deciding on one of them, I'd be fine. But I see DC zeroing in on the one school without taking the time to discover all of the amazing things at the other school, and it bothers me. There's so much there that's unique and special that I know they'd love, if only they took the time to look! I'm trying hard not to push too much, but it's difficult.

[gatorsmom]

I thought I was doing so well at this college thing, but I gotta be honest, my plan to be the cool, supportive but detached mom is teetering a little.

All throughout this process, I've noticed DC focusing in on just one school at a time, to the exclusion of all others (even as they filled out apps to those schools). I've refrained from commenting, because I understand that was in part my kid's effort not to fall in love with any school before they were admitted. This past weekend, they were at an admitted students day for one (perfectly lovely, excellent) school when they received their admission to another school that I honestly think

If it were a matter of DC having evaluated both schools and deciding on one of them, I'd be fine. But I see DC zeroing in on the one school without taking the time to discover all of the amazing things at the other school, and it bothers me. There's so much there that's unique and special that I know they'd love, if only they took the time to look! I'm trying hard not to push too much, but it's difficult.

You aren’t failing in your job. I saw my kids do that too. It’s normal- the school puts a hard sell on the admitted students and your kid has been wowed by the sales job the schools do. Just keep talking to them, visit the other school if you can, and give it some time for the sales pitches to wear off. Of course I don’t know your dc but if they have given serious thought to both schools and are teetering between the two, my guess is that both schools would be good for them. That there probably isn’t that much difference in the quality of the experiences at both schools. I mean, they would have noticed that by now, wouldn’t they?

[firstbaby]

Just coming back to thank those that commented on my post about DS deciding between 2 schools. I agree he should pick the one that his heart loves. I think his visit in a couple of weeks - even with his besties there - will still not feel like home the way the other school does. Hoping he has clarity and peace.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Ok, so we're down to 2 schools, and there's a $40K difference between them. She's not excited about the large (cheaper) school, so we'll check things out in person again after listening to the podcast with her.

[niccig]

Ok, so we're down to 2 schools, and there's a $40K difference between them. She's not excited about the large (cheaper) school, so we'll check things out in person again after listening to the podcast with her.

$40k over 4 years or $160K over 4 years ??


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