Transitioning from co-sleeping to the crib

[DebbieJ]

How did you do it? How long did it take? How old was your DC? Did you find that your DC's sleeping/waking patterns changed?

Please give me some hope that things will get better!

~ deb
Mommy to my sweet boy
B born 12/03
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/10023.jpg http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/10029.gif

At 10 months of age, my sweet little DD#2 suffered from "slumber party syndrome" and wouldn't sleep through the night for anything. I co-slept with DD#1 for 2.5 yrs with no problems. Not so with #2! After months of staying up from 1-5 with her, then trying to function throughout the day while she rested, a friend recommended the book "Sleeping Through The Night" by Jodi Mindell.

I read the first 4 chapters the first day we started "our program" that night. Bath, pajamas, 2 stories, bedtime. Night after night I listened to DD cry and protest while DH, my oldest DD and I played cards at the table. We took turns checking on her every 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, etc. and telling her she was fine. Within 10 days DD was getting the idea that we were serious about the crib issue and by the end of the month she looked forward to laying down in her own bed and being covered up with her special "blankie".

With #3 I started putting him in his own crib and doing a nightly routine closer to 6 months of age. At 23 months DS treasures going to bed at night now and giggles when he says "goodnight, mommy, SHUT DOOR NOW!"

It gets better, you just need to stick to whatever "program" you choose and follow through. I liked "Sleeping Through the Night" because her idea is that if you can put a child in their own bed awake, dry, well-fed, and drowsy, after following a predictable bedtime routine, they learn to associate those cues with falling to sleep and will eventually fall back to sleep on their own during the night. I still responded to their needs during the night if they wanted to nurse or rock, (OK, sometimes even tucking them back in bed with DH & me!) but after a month or two the night wakings stopped and we felt more rested as a family.

HTH,

gina, mom to 3
new baby due 5/05

[kitmama]

We're currently transitioning to the crib and (knock on wood!!) so far it is going well. We have a co-sleeper attached to our bed, which I admit is a bit different than bed sharing- it's possible that has smoothed the way for us. But I agree that a very important element in getting littleman to go down for sleep in his crib has been our good night routine- for us it's bath, brush teeth, massage, pajamas, nurse and then lay down in your bed (without mama) and go to sleep. We've been doing this since he was 4 or 5 months (or earlier- I don't really remember) but just putting him down in the co-sleeper in our room. He has never really had a problem going to sleep on his own, and I think the routine helped that.

Lately, I do everyhing the same except we nurse in the nursery and he goes down in his crib. Naps at home are always in the crib, so it's already a familiar, sleepy-time kind of place. Littleman has been perfectly content to go to sleep in the crib. When he wakes to nurse (just once a night right now) I go ahead and bring him back into our room. (Mostly for my own convenience). It's nice to not have to immediately get out of bed when he wakes in the morning (since he's there with us), but at some point I'll start putting him back into the crib after the nightly nursing. (Or, maybe he'll drop that feeding and I'll get a full night's rest!!?!) I just go with the flow.

I did try to do this much earlier, when he was waking more frequently at night. I'd hoped that perhaps sleeping away from me would discourage 'snacking", and he'd sleep better because it was too much effort to nurse. No go!! He only slept worse, and I ended up spending my nights on the nursery floor. I decided I'd much rather have him in the co-sleeper, and things improved after that. I'm glad I waited to try the crib thing later, because it's been so much less trouble now. I guess it just depends on the kid. :)

[annex]

Ours was very gradual -- an approximately 3-month transition that started around 11 months, when I got tired of the interrupted sleep that came with co-sleeping with DD. DD had never slept in the crib prior to that, and had always slept next/on me for almost every nap. We were not interested in any sleep training method that left her crying alone in her crib, so ended-up taking a slow but ultimately successful route to crib-sleeping.

I moved a mattress onto the nursery floor, and would nurse her to sleep there. I would wait until she was sound asleep then tiptoe off the bed but stay in the room so I could comfort her right away if she woke up. Or, if it was my bedtime, I would just sleep next to her. As she got better and better at sleeping without me right next to her, I would leave the room during naps and let her fuss more to see if she could get back to sleep on her own. Once things were going pretty good, I started moving her into the crib when she was dead asleep in the middle of the night. I would sleep in the room with her, though, so I could be right there if she needed me when she woke up. Eventually I got up the nerve to move back into my bedroom during the middle of the night, and to start letting her put herself back to sleep when she made half-awake grunts, mews, etc. (Something which I had previously found very hard to do when she was sleeping between me and DH because I didn't want her to wake DH up.)

I would say it wasn't until she was 14 months old (so about 3 months of slow transitions) that we finally got to the point where she regularly started and spent the whole night and all her naps in the crib. And maybe another month or two after that until she was willing to be put in the crib awake and fall asleep there on her own. We still (at 19 months) keep the mattress on the floor in her room for middle of the night nursings, and because I will also co-sleep there with her when she's sick and seems to need me more.

As far as sleeping patterns changing, I suspect some of them changed simply because she was maturing and becoming more independent then anyways. But yes, we started with a 11 month-old with very irregular waking/bed times who woke every 2 hours at night to nurse, and would take 1,2, or 3 naps per day (usually only 30-45 minutes each). By 14 months, she would often have a 4-5 hour uninterrupted sleep stretch at night, had a standard bedtime/waketime, and was down to a single regular 2 hour nap in the afternoon. Life-changing for a WAHM who could finally have a regular schedule for working during naps, etc.

Hope this gives you hope that things will get better!
-Anne