Leaving a breastfeeding 4 month old overnight

[flashy09]

I have the option of taking my 4 month old (at the time) baby with me to a wedding and using an unknown babysitter in the hotel room or leaving her with my mother for 24 hrs. She takes a bottle every day or every other day with no problem, but I get nervous what she will do when every feed is from a bottle. I don't think I have enough time to try a day of 8 bottles or so because at this stage I need every bottle I make to try and stockpile. I could try 3 bottles in a row or something like that. She would be safe with my Mom, but I have no idea if my Mom can stop her crying (she is an easy baby, but the 20 minutes before her bedtime she is fussy and we do a bit of Dr Karp and I nurse her...my mom would not be able to do either) and I worry that it will end up a horrible experience

Besides the breastfeeding, has anyone left a baby that young? It feels so wrong and I have only left her with my husband and once with his sister after she was asleep and I was 10 minutes away having a horrible time as I couldn't stop worrying! But this is a very good friend and I have committed to going.

It also seems wrong to fly her only to have her babysat by a stranger and flown back the next day!

Should I just cancel the whole thing??

[Mopey]

I am actually planning on leaving the baby for a wedding party when it is barely two months old with my mom for the night. I think we will be gone less than 24 hours total. I plan to have my mom watch "Happiest Baby" as well as show her and help her understand/practice the techniques beforehand. I am guessing the baby will have at least five feedings while we are gone or more and I am okay with that. I realize my babe is not here yet so I don't have the same feeling as you yet, but I am trying to look at this as a challenge to myself and it being good for the babe and myself to get comfy with others caring for it. Just my HO.

[teresah00]

I personally didn't feel comfortable leaving my kids overnight at that age. I never left them until they were 2+, when I was in the hospital having a baby. I would feel more comfortable takng them. I'm guessing the baby isn't invited to the wedding?

[flashy09]

Originally Posted by Mopey

I am actually planning on leaving the baby for a wedding party when it is barely two months old with my mom for the night. I think we will be gone less than 24 hours total. I plan to have my mom watch "Happiest Baby" as well as show her and help her understand/practice the techniques beforehand. I am guessing the baby will have at least five feedings while we are gone or more and I am okay with that. I realize my babe is not here yet so I don't have the same feeling as you yet, but I am trying to look at this as a challenge to myself and it being good for the babe and myself to get comfy with others caring for it. Just my HO.

Before I had the baby I was planning all sorts of things, lol! A 2 week cruise as a break! A trip to an Arizona spa for my Aunt's 60th birthday! Now that she is here I am so nervous/attached/paranoid that I can't even get a babysitter for a night out. I worry they won't notice a blanket over her nose or will shake her or drop her! Totally unreasonable! I am comfortable with my mom with the safety concerns, just worried it won't go well and very worried she won't eat. But I am glad to hear that other mothers leave their babies and that helps a lot with the guilt part.

[Mopey]

Originally Posted by flashy09

Before I had the baby I was planning all sorts of things, lol! A 2 week cruise as a break! A trip to an Arizona spa for my Aunt's 60th birthday! Now that she is here I am so nervous/attached/paranoid that I can't even get a babysitter for a night out. I worry they won't notice a blanket over her nose or will shake her or drop her! Totally unreasonable! I am comfortable with my mom with the safety concerns, just worried it won't go well and very worried she won't eat. But I am glad to hear that other mothers leave their babies and that helps a lot with the guilt part.

I have actually seen A LOT of girls put off even a quick trip around the corner for dinner and how hard that has made things for them. I am very lucky to have my mom be practically a baby whisperer and just two blocks away. She has already offered to come sit with the baby so we can go for a quick dinner in the first couple of weeks.

I have NO idea of course how any of this will actually be or feel (and I am nervous about the whole BFing/eating scheduling stuff) but am trying to remember the good parts of these options. And I am hoping I can stick with some of this idea while also realizing I may not.

FWIW, the wedding is not too far at all and I am just not the type to bring a baby to a party like that - even though we could (I really feel the babe will be too little for such a crowd). Just trying to look at it as a fun time on our own, reminding myself if it weren't for Hubby&Me in the first place, there'd be no impending Mopey

We'll see how I do!

[daisymommy]

Here's one thing you may not have considered: every time it is normally your baby's feeding time, your body will produce milk. So you will start quickly filling up, getting more and more engorged and sore (just like when your milk first came in!) and you will be leaking. Unless you pump several times during the day and night. Not exactly relaxing and easy either. Your body doesn't stop production like a flip being turned on and off because you are away from your baby.

If it was me, if I really wanted to go, yes, I would bring her along.

[ABO Mama]

I haven't left a 4mo overnight. I love my mom and trust her with my boys, but I bf, so overnight with a baby wasn't an option. She (and my dad) did keep our 18 mo twins for a week while DH and I took a trip, but that was post bf'ing. I wouldn't worry about the baby, so much as myself (I would still need to pump, and my emotions not allowing me to relax and have fun). Personally, I would bring the baby with me, and not use the provided sitter.

[mjs64]

Honestly, I would have had a hard time with either option at 4 mo old. Adding the travel makes it all seem even harder. Its not that hard to travel with a 4 mo, but if youre doing it on your own, for the first time, and have only a 1 day turnaround, it might feel overwhelming.

Any chance your DH (or even your mom?) can come along to babysit instead of the unknown person? Not sure what your relationship is to the bride/groom, but I'd bring DH and take turns with the baby in the room if you both have a relationship to the couple. Or i might try to bring the baby to part of the ceremony or reception, if that's okay with the couple. 4 mo olds are not that disruptive.

If the only 2 options are leaving the baby overnight or leaving her with an unknown babysitter, then yeah, I'd rethink going.

[AnnieW625]

Could you take your mom to the wedding as a baby sitter? If the trip doesn't require a plane ticket I think this would be the best option.

FWIW I left DD1 home with DH when she was two weeks old. DD2 was 3 week old. I just had to put my big girl panties on and deal with it. It was nice to get out of the house.

DD1 was 9 mos. old when she spent the night at her godparent's house. DD2 was 6 mos. old when she first spent the night at DD1's godparent's house.

[nfceagles]

I'm not saying you shouldn't, but I know I couldn't have at that age. My kids were not easy babies though and I felt like I was barely surviving each day at that point.

One of my biggest problems would have been my own need to pump to prevent engorgement. With a trip with that much travel in such a short period of time I'd be making sure I knew when and how I was going to "relieve" myself. If I got stuck on an airplane for too long and couldn't pump I'd be in pain and on the road to a nice case of mastitis. Not to mention my fear of leaking in evening wear. Just wanted to make sure you'd planned for that aspect of the trip.

Is the babysitter a complete stranger from an agency or are we talking about someone a friend has recommended or a family member of your friend? If that were the case and your hotel room were upstairs from the reception, I think I could do that.