How to deal with BIL calling DS retarded... GRRRR!

[Java]

Kael is 13 months and is not walking. He can cruise and walk with assistance but has not taken his first solo steps yet. BIL has started calling Kael "retarded" and "mentally challenged" as a joke but I don't find it funny. At all.

He knows that it pisses me off and that's why he says it. He'll bring it up the first chance he gets and it's all I can do to just ignore him and not wring his scrawny neck.

Before, he would ask me what I do all day. I went from a promising career to a SAHM, an equally challenging and more fulfilling role, but I had huge adjustment problems. It doesn't help when BIL kept asking me "What do you do all day? Do you just watch TV? How does it feel to not contribute to anything? Why don't you do something productive?" Just drove me crazy. Even when he's not talking directly to me, he's still saying that drivel. I was supposed to buy airline tickets for my IL's but they hadn't given me dates yet - he called MIL and asked if they got the tickets yet and when she said no, he asked why didn't I make the purchase - I don't have anything else going on in my life. MIL just laughs it off and tells him to stop "teasing" me. (*eye roll*)

DH's family is like that - making fun of each other, no holds barred. My family is more civilized so I'm at a loss as how to handle the jerk-off. I mean HIM.

So far I've played along (yeah, that's right - I just sit around and watch TV all day long) and then tried ignoring him. Nothing works. If I ignore him, he tries even harder to get a rise. If I say something he wins and gets into me even more.

I bitch to DH and he's offered to say something but I don't want to seem as though I'm hiding behind him (DH). I'm so fed up I don't know what to do. I'm feel like I'm screwed either way. I already told DH that if BIL gets into his retarded BS over Thanksgiving, I'm going home and taking Kael with me. I'm not putting up any more.

Any advice on dealing with this jerk?