Meeting w/teacher - how to approach her (long)

[spunkybaby]

Sending you a hug.

Unfortunately, I have no helpful advice to offer, but I just wanted to send my sympathies and good wishes for your conversation with Becca's teacher. I'm also struggling with parent-teacher-school interactions. Who knew that it would be so difficult to know what to say and how to say it? The ramifications of our conversations can seem so huge, yet it's hard to predict how people will react and how our kids will be affected.

I'm glad that others have been able to provide you with some words to use and thoughts on how to proceed. I hope that the teacher will receive your input well and will work with you to help your daughter succeed in the classroom.

[Uno-Mom]

Originally Posted by MamaMolly

Can I sare a kind of BTDT? I had a first grade student who would NOT stop making noises. Grunting and clicking his throat all.freaking.day.long. It seemed to get worse and worse and worse and NOTHING I tried (positive or negative reinforcement) did anything to stop it. It was loud enough to disturb other kids in the class. One afternoon I got a call from mom, they'd just been to the doctor and the child was diagnosed with Tourettes. Can you imagine how bad I felt, having punished this kid for something he honestly could not control? I apologized to mom. She felt the exact same way. Then I spoke to my student and told him I was sorry, that I had misunderstood, and we were going to work on it.

I couldn't read and not respond to this post. On behalf of the special-needs kids I represent...you're response was amazing! I understand how awful it feels when you find out a diagnosis was beneath problem behavior. However, that child will forEVER remember that a respected adult teacher came to him and apologized for not understanding. That's amazing and I'm sure he learned so much from your response!

To Missy: why the freakin, freakin %*#$#@&@#$ do they punish these kids by removing recess???? I mean, seriously. Seriously, people! I have heard that in so many IEP meetings and it makes me want to tear out my hair.

Sorry, that probably isn't real helpful but I had to get it off my chest. I hope you have a productive talk with the teacher!

[JustMe]

Hugs!

I agree with the others who suggest involving professionals directly in the meeting with the teacher. It has been my sad but true experience that what professionals say hold a lot more weight than what a parent has to say. Sometimes I am in a meeting as a professional and sometimes a a parent..wow, what a difference. Pretty ironic that its a lot easier to advocate for someone else's kid than for mine, but that's another story.

The positive thing is that it seems that you do have professionals who "get" what is going on with B.and you're on the same page as them? Use that to B's advantage!

[Cam&Clay]

I'm in a hurry and didn't read above but I have to say one thing about her saying that Becca made "poor choices." She has been diagnosed with ADHD. Children with ADHD do not make poor choices. They cannot help themselves. Any teacher with any knowledge of ADHD should realize that. Her job (and yours) is to help guide her throughout the day using various coping strategies. She should not be blamed for "poor choices."