s/o: kids activities

[megs4413]

so we've talked about this a little, but I'm having this particular problem, and I want to get some perspective on it and hear how others are dealing with it.

My DD is in ballet. I'm not much of a dance mom. It's really not my cup of tea. I indulged her at 3 years old, because what harm could it be? but, she's just never fallen out of love with it. She is more committed than ever and is now getting into more serious level classes. Truthfully, I can't stand it. I don't think it's a very good activity. It's expensive and hard on the body. It is VERY time consuming, etc. She's passionate about it, though, so I don't see how I can just make her quit. Has anyone else dealt with this? She's so into it and I know they're going to ask her to join the competition team next year and I am SOOOOOOOOO not ready for that. What do you do with your kids when they enjoy an activity that you don't even truly approve of? TIA!

[abh5e8]

she is 7? i think at 7, you pull her out and help her find a more appropriate activity. she may love it because she knows it...but if she knows something else, may love it too. i think your concerns (time, money, physical strain) are very valid.

and i'm not really sure what competition ballet is?

[khm]

Can you try a different studio? In my area, there are plenty of dance studios at all levels of seriousness (or lack of).

My daughter did dance at 4-5. Then not again until 7-8. It was pretty much not fun for me, I tolerated it, but was very much not "into it". But, she liked it well enough.

Then last year she tried a new FUN studio with several of her friends. The teacher is young and funny and a great teacher. It's fantastic. And the upside? They are learning so much!! The difference is AMAZING. I actually cried at their recital. Tears of happiness (not boredom!!) at how pretty they all looked and how great they did. They had such a ball up there and it just plain showed this year. They did do a competition that was here local (none of us would travel, etc. just not our thing). They did great! They placed high and got great comments. I think they are just so different that they stand out. (Simple, sweet costumes, hair down loose, etc.)

My daughter won't "pursue dance" in a serious way, but she will stay in it for the foreseeable future. She may or may not try high school dance team. Who knows, but right now, the benefits are great and she just plain loves it. And, I've come around too. Even my husband was blown away at their recital.

[KpbS]

It does take a TON of time--esp. as they get older. Our favorite sitter and her sisters dance 5 days a week unless it is the 3 months of the year where they dance 6 days (in prep for an annual performance) and that is just a lot of time practicing.

I think that I would tell my DD that we were going to take a break from ballet for a year and try a couple of new things--let her pick one of the new activities and you pick another. Maybe a semester of soccer or starting piano/musical instrument? If you are really opposed to it (and it certainly sounds like you are) I would insist on taking a break from ballet before the competition level becomes an issue.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Could you switch schools that has a different philosophy? Competitive dance was never my thing and we sought out dance schools that didn't have it. I think there are bound to be options out there that would appease both of you. I would support the dance though, that's for sure. But, I think you can direct it.

[nfowife]

For straight ballet I would not go the competitive route. I would look into a ballet school affiliated with a ballet company or that focuses on ballet specifically, if that is what your daughter is focused on. More of the classical approach.