UPDATE: All is well! -- Clarification from Boogiemom/Boogiemom2

[boogiemom]

ETA: I received an email from the 3rd mod this morning and now we are ALL 100% on the same page. Warm fuzzies for everyone! :)

UPDATE: Since posting yesterday, I have been surprised and pleased to have received several emails/pms from mods and fellow bbb-ers. I want everyone to know that two of our mods took the time to contact me directly in an effort to understand and correct any misunderstandings that have occurred recently. It appears that it truly all boils down to a simple misunderstanding. Because I was feeling frustrated and wrongly accused, I didn't take the time to contact the mods directly with my issues. I should have done so and I apologize. I think the one thing my post and subsequent communications with mods/other users has shown is that it is altogether too easy to misunderstand each other when communicating online. There are times when we would all do well to take a moment, step back and make the effort to consider that we may be misunderstanding a post-er's intentions. I know I've made judgements about others based on a post. I'll be making more of an effort to consider the intent of a post rather than just my own perception of it. So....we are all good. A big "Thank You" to those who took the time to contact me/respond. Your kind words are appreciated. Group hug, anyone? :) {{{{ hugs! }}}}




Okay....first things first:

I am posting in this forum because although my post is to be simple and matter-of-fact, someone will likely perceive it as bitching and move it, as happens so often. I'll save you the trouble and post here to begin with. I have a couple of issues that I want to clear up:

1) A few weeks ago I posted a heartfelt post in the lounge encouraging those who felt stifled/stagnant/bored/unhappy, etc. to find something new to try. I posted because my own experience becoming a consultant with a home business had made me feel better in general by giving me something new to focus on that had nothing to do with my husband and children. I haven't had anything like that for the 7 years I've stayed home so I was excited about making a change in my life. Because I have seen other posts in the lounge about other mamas feeling similarly, I posted suggesting that those individuals find something new to try. I suggested a part-time job or volunteering, anything that would bring something new into your life. For the record, I did NOT include the name of the home-business that I had chosed to become a part of. I didn't post that info. because that truly was not the point of the post. It did not occur to me that it could be taken that way at all. Someone resonded asking what business I had chosen. I did post an admittedly long response in answer to that question. I was just excited about it. I included some detail because I knew many people would probably not have heard of the company because I hadn't until a couple of weeks before. I know from past posts that many mamas are looking for opportunities where they can work their own schedules, etc. I can recall several posts over the years in regards asking "Which should I join? A, B or C.... So, yes I gave an answer to the question and shared some of the details about what the company does because it was an option that I had never been aware of. Apparently my post was against the rules and it was removed. Fine. Then, I get an email from a mod letting me know that I was receiveing a "warning" and if I received two other "warnings", I would receive a 30-day suspension from the BBB. Oooookay.... I did not respond because well, I didn't think it warranted a second thought from me. I get it, it was perceived differently than I had intended and thus was against the rules. Haven't given it another thought until....(P.S. PLEASE do NOT contact me about my business as I am simply trying to clarify the intent of my original post. I will NOT respond to any inquiries.)

2) Regarding a completely separate issue: my recent posts have been under a new screen name (boogiemom2) because I moved several months ago and lost my password. I couldn't have my password emailed to me because I had changed email providers and couldn't access the old email. Fine. Well, I had someone from bbb email me recently who I have communicated with in the past separate from the bbb asking if I was the same "Tani" who used to be "boogiemom". I said yes and it occured to me that people might not realize it was still me. So, I decided to include that info in my siggy. I also knew that it is against the rules to create a 2nd screen name to post under so I decided to nip any speculation in the bud and simply include the true reason I had created the 2nd screen name. It wasn't anything but the facts. I wasn't trying to start anything. Actually I was trying to avoid the whole creating another screen name issue.... BUT, I received an email from a mod today letting me know that my siggy from my boogiemom2 posts is "inflammatory toward the
Moderators of the Board. It is blatant and unnecessary.". I was told to edit my sigline. I was also informed that this is now my 2nd warning and a third warning "will warrant a 30 day suspension".





Now, I have been a part of the bbb since before it was a message board like you see today. I can remember researching options during my first pregnancy on the old format. It was tedious and it was not a true community like it is now. I didn't use it after my oldest was born. When I came back during my 2nd pregnancy, I was amazed at how far the bbb had come! I researched all of the new options and spent a decent amount of time here. That was a few years ago. I don't spend a lot of time here now because my youngest is getting older and my two sweet boys keep me pretty busy. I do check in occasionally and I tell people about the bbb all the time because I think it is a phenomenal resource. I also refer people to the bridal bargains and the home-building books because I have used all of them and found them all to be helpful.

But, I have neither the time, nor the inclination to worry endlessly about how everything I post COULD POSSIBLY be perceived here in the current mentality of the bbb. As many of us know, there is a definite division on the bbb. Once you've been around awhile you see that there are the "haves" and the "have nots" for lack of better terminology. It is largely for this reason that I feel many, including myself, have become much less active with the bbb. I think both of the above issues are excellent examples that no one can really "read" someone's intent/emotion by reading their words on the screen. So, basically the decision as to how to interpret a post ends up relying largely on whether the post-er is a "have" or a "have-not". If you are a "have-not" and you post something that COULD be interpreted as baiting/inflammator/sarcastic/inappropriate, you will be accused of such. However, if you are a "have", the other "haves" will defend your post by saying you were simply speaking "tongue in cheek" or similar.

Most of our fellow bbb-ers are kind, helpful, genuine people who I feel privileged to have met here. I'm a better mom for having been a part of the bbb.

A HUGE "THANK YOU" to the person who came forward with suggestions to help me with my log-in issue and allowed me to, once again, post under my original screen name. You are appreciated. :) Often on the bbb, as in life, it's less an issue of ability than an issue of willingness.

[elliput]

Thank you, Tani, for taking the time to express your concerns. I hope that we have been able to set some things right for you. :-)

[boogiemom]

You have been very helpful, Erica. Thank you for taking the time to discuss my concerns and address them. I sincerely appreciate it. :)

[MartiesMom2B]

I don't understand how explaining something can perceived as imflammatory. I do agree that most people here are kind and helpful. I hope that the powers that be don't consider your post to be a threat as well. Thanks for clearing up your "issues"

-Sonia
Mommy to the M&M girls

[elliput]

Tani and I have had a very nice off board discussion and her frustrations and concerns have been addressed. I believe Tani makes some very valid points in her post, and I am glad she took the time to write them out.

[MamaMolly]

Oh, Tani! I'm so sorry for my part in this mess!

>>For the record, I did NOT include the name of the home-business that I had chosed to become a part of. I didn't post that info. because that truly was not the point of the post. It did not occur to me that it could be taken that way at all. Someone resonded asking what business I had chosen.>>

That someone was me, folks.:(

I promise didn't do it with the intention of baiting Tani into making a post that would get her in trouble with the mods. She happened to tap into a feeling I've been struggling with since DD was born, and I wanted to know more about the company she'd been so happy to find. It was genuine curiosity on my part, and genuine enthusiasim on hers in her response.

Again, I sincerely apologise for my part of this.
Molly

[Fairy]

No need for apologies, Molly, you didn't do anything you need to worry about. No worries here, we're all good to go!

-- Fairy

[boogiemom]

Oh,No! Molly, I did not mean to imply that you had any part in this! I just wanted to clarify my intent in posting all that's been posted lately. It wasn't your fault at all! Looking back, I should have emailed you off board with the details and I truly just didn't even think about it. My boo-boo, not yours.

Please don't give it another thought. :)