Help! Baby doesn't sleep well in bassinet or crib.

My baby is now almost 4 weeks old. After she falls asleep in my arms after feedings, I try to put her in her bassinet but she won't sleep more than a few minutes before she starts to whimper then start crying. The same happens with the crib. She's a little better when I lay her on the bed but I'm afraid to keep her sleeping in the bed with me because our mattress is not as firm as it should be for the baby and I'm afraid of SIDS. I don't know if it's gas or what. I seem to wake her up after feedings every time I change her or burp her also. Is there a way that I can keep her in a deep sleep without holding her all day and all night? Please help!

Not to discourage, but if you've read any of my numerous posts, you'll see that my three-month old is the same way. We don't even get a few minutes before he starts to whimper. :)

You might be trying to put her down too soon. Try to wait until you are sure that she is in a deep sleep (limp arms, eyelids have stopped fluttering, no facial movements/spasms). That should be about 20 minutes or so. I know that seems like a long chunk of time, but if it gets you an hour of you-time, then I think it's worth it. (Speaking from the big lack of me-time perspective. :)

Try changing her before the feeding, but if you do need to change her after, maybe do it between breasts? Or, you could just offer your breast for a little suckle after you change/burp her. A lot of times Gannon will go right back to sleep just by having contact with my boob! (I'm sorry...I'm making the assumption that you are BFing...Are you?)

Also, you could try swaddling her...Sometimes the open space of the crib is too much for them and they startle themselves awake. Someone also suggested to me that you could put the baby in so that she is laying from side-to-side, instead of length-wise. Again, she might not feel so "lost." Have you tried running the vacuum cleaner or dishwasher? The white noise helps too.

Okay, those are my suggestions. None has worked for me, but my baby is very much into being held ALL THE TIME. I am sure that your daughter is an angel and will be more receptive. :) Good luck!

When my DS was that young, he would only sleep in his infant car seat. We actually put the car seat in his bassinnet. Sounds so funny now when I think about it. I think he also fell asleep on us on his tummy, and would wake up when he went onto his back. Ever since he could roll over, he only sleeps on his tummy. I know some people just place their infants to sleep on their tummies, even though it's dangerous in terms of SIDS and stuff, and I'm definitely NOT recommending it. Good luck.

I second what Joanne said. Sometimes waiting a little longer helps. And don't beat yourself up that your baby isn't taking an immediate liking to being by herself. Consider, she spent nine months being snugly (VERY snugly the last few months), warmly, rockingly held, every single minute of the day. It takes a while to develop a taste for being motionless and alone.

I found the transition freqently went more easily if I held her in the same position she was going to be in the crib (i.e. not holding her on her back and then setting her down on her side), and then after she was in the crib, I'd still hold her for a few minutes with my hands, VERY slowly withdrawing them eventually. Some folks warm the spot where the baby's going to be with a hot-water bottle, to ease the transition.

It DOES work out eventually. Now I have a toddler I can set down in the crib, say "Night-night" to, and walk out of the room. She burbles to her toys for a few minutes, then falls asleep. I would not have ever thought it was possible...!

Hang in there,

KathyO

My mom gave us a beautiful bassinet that just sat there looking pretty. Because dd had such gas problems early on (she would NOT sleep laying down - only if we were holding her, or if she was sleeping on one of our chests), the ped recommended sleeping her in her infant seat for the first couple months. This way any gas would come out easier and I wouldn't worry about her choking on her spit-up (paranoid sleep-deprived mothers worry about everything, as I'm sure you know!). At 8 weeks we transitioned her to her crib and dh and I prepared ourselves for a long night. Didn't happen. She slept just fine, and has continued to do so.

Naps are another story. I know some people are vehemently opposed to letting their child sleep in a swing, but some days that's the only way she will nap. And early on, she had a TERRIBLE time settling down (extremely sensitive to almost everything). Our Graco open-top 6-speed 15-tune swing has been a lifesaver. We noticed that the more tired dd was come nighttime (due to poor napping), the harder it was for her to go and stay down. So the swing gave me precious time to take care of myself, the house, and fall in love with dd. I'm a HUGE advocate of the me-time that Joanne spoke of. SO important.

I also would change dd before feeding her and if she happened to do something, I would change her again almost immediately (the most we ever had to change her in a feeding was twice :)) so that if she fell asleep during the feeding, I could just place her in her bed. Also, we swaddle big-time here. DD is almost 6 months and she STILL loves to be swaddled - she won't stay asleep for very long without it. I can picture it now - coming in to swaddle her at her slumber parties...

And finally, dd responded big-time to white noise. My mom bought her a white noise machine from Target (though others have found it elsewhere). The brand is Homedics and it has 6 sounds (stream, rain, ocean, crickets, heartbeat, and waterfall), optional timer, and volume control. It runs about $15. The vacuum or hair dryer works just as well, but I could only vacuum my house so many times a day :D.

Don't worry, she'll get better! You're doing a great job. Sorry so long - hope this helps!

Thanks everyone for your input! It's giving me a lot of ideas and I am reassured that it may not last forever.

I have actually been breastfeeding and feeding only on one side at a time. She doesn't seem to take the second breast if I take her off the first one. She'll take only 10 minutes of feeding the majority of the time but then there are times she'll have 5,7, or 8 minutes, other times up to fifteen. Should I start trying to divide up the ten minutes between breasts? Maybe feed 5 minutes, burp and change her then feed the next breast for 5 minutes? Wow! Mothering can get a bit complicated.

Thanks again!

[Melanie]

No! If you only feed briefly on each side, then your baby won't get the rich hindmilk, only the foremilk which is kind of like "nonfat" vs. "whole" or "cream." They need the hindmilk and if you feed one side at a time they will get more of that.

Feeding on one side is perfectly fine, I had the same 'problem' as you, so that is what we have always done. Your body will adapt to it eventually.

About the sleep problem, are you waiting about 20 minutes before you put her down so she is in a deep sleep? If she's still sleep-smiling, rolling her eyes, etc. then she's not in a deep sleep, that could be why she is waking up.

Congratulations!

Mommy to Jonah

[JMarie]

My sister had problems with her daughter - Abby was four weeks early and had a hard time feeding. She would average about 2 ounces at a time until almost three months old, was allergic to regular formula, and had terrible reflux. Abby would only sleep reclined on her mom's chest until probably two or three months old, and once she was able to sleep in the crib, she would only sleep on her stomach. After about a week of worrying, my sister talked to her daughter's ped and he reassured her that some babies just won't sleep on their backs. No amount of swaddling or length of time asleep in mom's arms would help if she was placed to sleep on her back. He did say it wasn't recommended, but it obviously worked for her. The baby's crib was in her room right by the bed, so it was easier to see or hear if something was wrong. I would suggest a frank discussion with your ped to get any suggestions for helping your baby sleep. It did work for my sister and I am just praying if I run into the same dilemma, it will work for me. Good luck!

JMarie
EDD 2/28/03

Sarah-that looks like an updated picture. She's beautiful!

Thanks - digital cameras are great! It's hard not to snap a couple pics a day when they're so dang cute.

I also would sometimes only feed on one side. Sometimes she wanted both, other times one would suffice. Every now and then in the morning, after sleeping through the night, she will only eat on one side (oh the pain on the other;) until I pump!). Of course, she eats a LOT faster now than she used to. When dd was your dd's age, it took 10-15 min per side. Now we can do both in 5-6 minutes. I keep worrying she's not eating enough, but she will NOT eat for longer and goes 3 hours between feedings (and sleeps 10-11 hours at night). Things to do, toys to chew I suppose...