Sleep: Please don't tell me to read a book

[C99]

I've read both Weissbluth and Pantley, and recently re-read Pantley ISO help for my daytime-sleep-resistant baby. But I need some real-world help! I basically have 2 questions:

1) How do I get the little bugger to nap -- in his crib -- during the day? He currently will only sleep on me in the sling or in the car, for about 20 minutes at a time. Not great quality sleep. And he's Mr. Crankypants within an hour. I've been doing an abbreviated nighttime routine with him to signal that it's naptime, but he falls asleep on me and cries when I put him into his crib. And cries. And cries. And cries.

2) How do I get the little bugger to sleep longer in the morning? He currently goes down at 6 (b/c he does not nap and is horrible by 5 p.m.) and is up at 4 or 5 a.m. This is way too early for me!

As background, Nathaniel's been sleeping in his crib for about 8 weeks. Before that, we co-slept. Sometimes we have good nights (down at 6, sleeps until 4 or 5 a.m. for the first waking) and sometimes we have bad nights (down at 6, wakes at 10, 12, 2, and 4).

Is this all part of the 7-m/o weird sleep thing? TIA.

My goodness, you poor thing. I can totally relate to what you're going through. My own DS had difficulty with naps, and in the last week, he's been more predictable. He usually wakes up 6:30 AM, then goes down around 9ish for his first nap, wakes 1 1/2 to 2 hours after. Then we goes down for his PM nap around 1:30 to 2:00 PM. When I put him down, I usually have a mini routine going: lay him on his changing table and check his diaper; turn on the lullaby music to cue him in for sleep; BF him for a few minutes; then when he doesn't seem interested in feeding, I pick him up, hold him for a minute, then put him down in his crib. I kiss him, say bye, then leave the room. He usually fusses/cries anywhere from 10-20 minutes, then falls asleep. If he wakes up less than 30 minutes, I wait for a few minutes to see if the cry escalates, then go in and pick him up. We then go about our day for another 15-20 minutes, then start the routine over again until he's gone down for his nap. I did this for a couple of weeks until he began to understand the routine. I HATED it in the beginning because I didn't like hearing him cry (I really don't advocate CIO) but since I've got a 2 year old who's on a totally different time schedule, I don't have the luxury of rocking him to sleep like I did my first. In a way, it's been a blessing in disguise. Don't know if this will help, but hopefully you'll realize that you're not alone in your frustration.

Now...if only I can get him to sleep through the night...

[lizajane]

i can't tell you to do it because i know it is "wrong," but the only thing that worked for was to let him nap on his tummy. i don't know if 7mo is too old for it to work, because maybe he just rolls over either way already (maybe he already rolls to his tummy to sleep, or maybe if you put him down that way, he would just roll onto his back)

we all tried it MUCH earlier, but my friends and i who finally "cheated" during SUPERVISED sleep have had great success. i don't feel guilty about letting him tummy sleep anymore because it made us so happy, and it didn't affect his nightime back sleeping at all.

perhaps giving him a lovey that you have slept with might help? if he started out sleeping with you, and likes to fall asleep on you, maybe a mommy scented lovey would help? ds has been napping with his lovey for just about a week, and now he can't go down without it! (i introduced it when i started letting him go to sleep in his bed instead of rocking him) he snuggles his check on it and sucks his thumb. he looks like a baby commercial.

[C99]

How long did you let him cry for his naps -- until he slept or what? I'm not a fan of CIO either, but the bags under my eyes reach almost to my knees and I need to find something that works!

Honestly, I must be the only one who has never read a sleep book. We just go by our instincts, and I think it's different for every kid so one program doesn't fit all.

Sorry, I know this doesn't help you, but it's something that I've been dying to say all this time (but I couldn't post for months!).

Good luck.

Edited to say: But of course there's nothing wrong with getting suggestions from others and pick and choose what works for you. DS is crying so can't post properly right now.

Kris

[bnme]

I am lucky that my DS is what I consider to be an excellent sleeper. But although I've read Weissbluth & Pantley and like most of Ws ideas, he is not what Weissbluth would probably consider *ideal*.

He goes to bed at 730 and is up between 6 and 7, which is great. But he still wakes at least once for a bottle -but does return to sleep right away. No playing or anything.

He is usually a great napper, but only naps in his crib if I put him there after he falls asleep. He usually falls asleep on me with a bottle or in front of Baby Einsten in a comfy seat or in his stroller on walks. It was the swing before he outgrew it. This is probably not the best habit but I can usually transfer him to the crib w/o a problem and I am happy that he is a good napper (2 1+hr naps a day). I rather see him get good naps so he maintains his good night schedule then struggle to get him to fall asleep for naps in his crib. I hope I don't regret it, but it is what is working for us right now.

I guess I am just saying that if you can get him to take a good nap someplace other than his crib, and not layiing with you so you can have some free time, it may be worth it.

Oh also, the past week or so his naps have been very erratic and shorter than usual. I don't know if its his teeth (top 2 coming in) or that his schedule may be shifting. He will be 8 mos on 8/3.

I guess I really didn't answer your ?s though, sorry. Just sharing my experience. I feel guilty sometimes that he doesn't always fall asleep by himself yet, as the books say, and honestly I don't thats going to happen 100% of the time in my house anytime soon!
:)

[chrissyhowie]

Caroline,

Our kids are just about the same age. Chloe isn't Ms. Super Sleep either, but she definitely has improved a lot over the past month. I used to think she didn't like naps. First thing that helped was us sticking to a rough schedule of naps. We used to just take her everywhere we went, and now we plan better around her nap times.

Second thing was that we started to do the CIO method (because we were clearly failing at the other methods!), which started with doing it with nap times. The biggest part of that was putting her down in the crib BEFORE she was sleeping. She usually got a bottle or I breastfed her, but I'd make sure to put her down before she actually fell asleep -- worked best when she was "milk-drunk" but not actually sleeping. She cried, sometimes really hard, at first, but usually the crying turned into small, fussy noises within five to ten minutes. Then she'd fall asleep! After a couple weeks of doing this, she now rarely cries when she goes down for a nap. If she wakes up before an hour, I don't rush in right away when I first hear her. She almost always falls back asleep within ten minutes or so on her own. But if she's really wailing after a few minutes, I go in and pick her up -- sometimes she falls back asleep and sometimes not. (This is definitely still a work in progress!)

Chloe goes down for the night at around 8pm or so. She often wakes up at around 11pm to nurse (sometimes sleeps right through), and then will sleep until 7-8am. She used to wake up pretty regularly at 3am too. I figured out pretty quickly that she wasn't hungry because she'd hardly nurse and fall right back asleep! So I started to let her CIO at 3am. It was painful in the beginning, but after about a week the 3am wakings stopped.

How about bringing Nate into bed with you just at 4-5am? Especially on the weekends if Chloe wakes up a little early, I just bring her into the bed and side-lie nurse her there. Usually we both end up snoozing for a good while longer. And it hasn't hurt her ability to sleep alone (she co-slept with us until she was about three months).

Sleep training has not been easy for us, but it's getting much better. Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to give you some real-life feedback. Everyone is happier for it in this household! Best of luck for some good zzzzz's!

[jd11365]

I'm no expert...Kayla is not yet 4 months old yet. But, just my little 2 cents of what has worked for us...

Tummy sleeping...I know...bad mommy...but if you've read any of my posts, I'm keep a "whatever works" motto.

Not quite CIO...But I pat her on the bottom for a while...leave and let her cry for a little bit, then go in and pat her on the bottom to let her know I'm still alive and in the house...rinse and repeat...oh wrong directions...just repeat...lol.

Again, I probably have some nerve posting with such a little one...the sleep Gods have just been good to us...I am humble. And of course now that I've posted this, she will be up at 2 and 4 in the morning...Murphy's Law!

Good luck!

Jamie
Mommy to Kayla
5/1/03

[egoldber]

Sarah never really had much of a schedule or routine, until she was about 6 months old. But after that, I found that it was VERY helpful to keep to at least a rough outline of a daily routine. Not militant to the second (she MUST nap by 10!!), but, for example, down for morning nap between 9 and 10, for early afternoon nap between 1 and 2, and then for late afternoon nap between 5 and 6, down for the night between 9 and 10. That kind of thing. And some babies need more routine than other to sleep well.

Above all, I think that being consistent, no matter what you decide to do, is very important.

Good luck!

I hear ya! I don't really have a definite answer as far as how long. I know that doesn't help you...

Initially, when I first started, it depended on how I was able to stand it, or if I was totally occupied w/ my oldest. Sometimes, I would go in after 10-15 minutes if I noticed that he was really crying hard (and start over again after a few minutes of play/hugging), other times, I would leave him in until he fell asleep if I noticed that his cries were not so "stressed." I guess it really comes down to "reading" his cries. Vague response, I know, but that's reality for me.

Another thing I've done that helped me in getting DS down to sleep was to begin his sleep routine before he was "cranky." Cues such as "eye rubbing", yawns, more than two hours of wakefulness and even the slightest reduction of social interaction helps me. I stick to his general naptime schedule even when he doesn't appear to be significantly tired. Tonight, when I started his bedtime routine, he wasn't cranky at all, but appeared to be slowing down a bit. By the time I finished his routine, he was fussy/crying and then when I put him in his crib, he was sleeping within five minutes! This doesn't happen all the time, but I look at it as a positive sign that things are slowly getting better.

There have been other things have impacted my DS's sleep in the last month, so at times, the routine doesn't work. Things like teething (oh boy...Tylenol has been a savior!), developmental leaps (rolling, grabbing and as of yesterday, the beginnings of crawling) and separation anxiety are things that I've had to keep in mind when dealing w/ his sleep. Oh yeah, and to top it all off, he's also getting over a terrible cold. Oh well...sigh...that's how it is.

Hang in there! I hope you find a routine/technique that works for you and your baby soon.