Sad and need some guidance (m/c, infertility mentioned) LONG!

[rrosen]

I am a relatively new poster but, I am hoping some of you experienced moms can help me. I really don't know what direction to go in. Warning there is alot of information here!

I recently (last Thursday) suffered my second miscarriage. My first was last July(2003). I then got pregnant with my dd in December (she was born September 6,2003). We found out that we were pregnant again on New Year's day (suprise). Most people would be freaked by finding out that they were pregnant so soon after giving birth but we were thrilled since it had taken us 4 years to get pregnant the first time.

Anyway, we went for an ultra-sound at 6 weeks but only measured 5.2 (sac no yolk sac) We went back at 8 weeks, measured 6.4, baby had slow heartbeat (100 bpm) and I had a small clot behind placenta. Back again at 9 weeks baby's heart no longer beating. I had a D&C the next day.

Ok, so here are my questions. My infertility was unexplained all of those years blah, blah, blah. Getting pregnant does not seem to be the main problem now since I have been pregnant 3 times in 18 months. Pregnancy with dd was perfect no complications. I have gone through testing for all autoimmune and clotting factors. Tissue has been sent for chromosomal testing. I refuse to believe that all of this is "bad luck" as my ob says. I need to do something pro-active. Please if you have been through anything like this tell me what you did. I can not tolerate that thought that I may ever have to go through this again.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much!

Rebecca
Mom to Gabrielle (9/6/03)

Rebecca-I have no advice for you but just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure that it must be quite heartbreaking for you.
I hope and am pretty certain that several people will have words of wisdom. In the meantime-take good care of yourself. My thoughts are with you.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03

[MelissaTC]

So sorry for your loss :( I know how difficult it is...

Have you visited a Reproductive Endocrinologist? Perhaps you need your levels tested. I know I took progesterone suppositories to help sustain my pregnancy. I also have a neighbor that suffered from 3 or 4 miscarriages, had exploratory surgery and they said it was all unexplained. She became pregnant with her daughter and used the progesterone suppositories and now has a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old.

Anyway, this is just a suggestion. You probably have already looked at this. Let us know what you find out.

[momathome]

Rebecca-
I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I have also had several miscarriages and have been diagnosed with secondary infertility after having given birth to 2 healthy girls. I know how hard it can be to go through this and I hope your doctor is able to get to the bottom of your fertility issues before too long. Take care of yourself and feel free to pm me if you need to talk.
-Lauren

Rebecca,
I don't have much words of wisdon, for I to have gotten pregnant 3 times in less than 18 months with only one baby to show for it. We had a mc and then an ectopic (which scares me to death because that alone increases my chances of another ectopic to 1/10)...

So my main words are you are not alone...
We recently purchased the book "taking charge of your fertility" and have found it to be very imformative. I am actually shocked each month that I am not pregnant since we have been trying now for atleast 6 months...so I know slightly of your frustration, but didn't struggle for 4 years before the pregnancies.

I think being under your MDs care and getting books such as tcoyf is an excellent thing to do...

Many here are in your shoes, and as we know many in our society are to...take care of yourself though, for I can say first hand the emotions that come after a mc...several weeks after...are a very sad place to be...

Keep us posted...
Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

I would seek out an RE. Feel free to pm or email me if you want to talk. I went through 5 years of heartbreak before we had Nathan.

I am so sorry for your pain. There are truly no words I can say, other than **hugs** to you.

I have autoimmune issues with my pregnancies, and the clotting of the placenta (subchorionic hematomas) was always a big problem for me. I even got to the point where I felt like I could point them out on the ultrasounds as well as the techs, because trhey were so much a part of my pregnancies.

You've had autoimmune testing, but have you had the panels done right at the time of the loss, and then again?

Sometimes, the numbers can fluctuate (mine are wildly erratic, and the only way to catch them can be repeat testing).

I had to be medicated duting my pregnancies to maintain them. I had to take baby aspirin, and well as injectable heparin, to prevent the clotting, as well as very diligent monitoring.

I highly, highly recommend seeing a RE, and getting an opinion from that angle, if you haven't already done so.

I just wanted to say how sorry I am for you. I watched a dear friend go through 3 m/c over the space of 3 years, and be told by the doctor that they really didn't worry until the number hit 4. Whaaaa?! Before trying any "outside" help, they decided to take some time off, so to speak, and within 3 months, she was pg again, and carried DS to term with a few issues along the way, but he was born healthy and happy.

I guess what I'm saying is to hang in there. Do what you feel is right. I don't know how old you are, but if you can, give your body some time to build up its iron stores and really focus on you and your baby. I know a lot of women who attribute continued problems with stress (oh the vicious cycle). But go with your gut - if you think getting a second opinion is the way to go, then follow that!

[kransden]

Hugs for you at this sad time.

I know this is going to sound really weird. I have a Catholic friend that has suffered multiple miscarriages, but has 3 healthy girls. The last mc was tested and was a boy with no known defects. With all 3 girls there was no problem what so ever with her pregnancies. She and her doc speculate that her other mcs were boys too. So that might be what is going on with you. There is just so much that isn't known at this time about fertility.

Karin and Katie 10/24/02

Rebecca,
I have no experience at all with what you're going through, but just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are having to deal with. Best wishes for a happy baby year for you!

All the best,