Tell me what it's like to have a 1 yr. old

[crl]

Hi,

We're adopting a baby from China. This will be our first. We're very excited and getting more so as the adoption gets closer. Right now it looks like we'll be traveling to China to get our baby in August. We don't know age or gender yet, but it's very likely that our baby will around 1 year old when we travel.

I'd love it if you'd give me a glimpse of what life is like with a one year old (or so)--good, bad or ugly. Tell me what the first twenty minutes of your day are like. Or tell me what going to the grocery store is like. Or describe bedtime. Or whatever you feel like telling me.

Thank you so much!

[redhookmom]

Catherine,

Congratulations!

First twenty minutes: I hear my daughter "talking" in her room. When I get there she standing at the side with her pillow and blanket. She will not leave the crib without them. We go downstairs and she is kind of cranky for about 10 minutes. She has something to drink. I offer her some fruit and she says no the first few times and then gobbles it down. After the fruit she is in good spirits and wants to play. All I want to do is make coffee.

The grocery store is great as long as we get one of the "car carts." She "beeps" along. Without the car cart she screams for cookies.

She loves shoes and socks. She wears them all day long and carries arond extras. (Everyone else in or family goes barefoot inside.)

She is just starting to play with dolls.

Congratulations! Having a one year old is absolutely awesome!

Our first 20 minutes is hearing him talking in his room. I usually let him wake-up by talking to himself for a few minutes. If I get him too soon he can be a little cranky. I change his diaper and he makes his milk sign over and over again. (I never remember to go into his room armed with his sippy cup!) We go downstairs, I grab him some milk, and I let him run around for a bit. After he has woken up we eat a breakfast. That's life 4 days a week. The other 3 days are me easing him out of bed, changing his diaper, and placing him - jammies and all - into his car seat to head to the sitter's house.

At 1 they are mobile in some way (either crawling or walking) and are beginning to explore everything around them. Ok, maybe they are just trying to test us as parents, but I choose to think they are just being curious. At 1, they love to hug, kiss, and love. They make the cutest sounds. They start to imitate you in behaviors you never even knew they noticed. They are also fast as lightning and can get out of your sight in the blink of an eye.

The bad? There's not a lot of bad. They start to demonstrate their own wants with tantrums and crying spells. But they're babies, they can't communicate any other way at first. I have found that sign language has helped tremendously with tantrums. I would recommend looking into sign language for your little one. It's so much easier for Sage to sign for milk, than us try to figure out why he is crying. Signing takes time to learn too, but at 1 your baby will pick up on the signs very quickly.

Grocery trips are easy for us too. I throw him in the cart (with his Buggy Bagg) and off we go. I always keep snacks and water/milk on outings. Sage knows the places that have free cookies samples and he recognizes his favorites foods now. He's a great traveler, but others aren't. You'll soon figure out your routine with that.

Bedtime is the best. It's our quiet time to look at books and "talk". At 1 they may have a lot of interest or very little in books. It took Sage a while before he appreciated reading. Even now he is still a speed reader. We make it through every page of only a few books. Every night isn't perfect, mind you, but I love retreating to my baby's bedroom for our little 30 minutes of the day when the lights are dimmed, music is playing, and we're both quiet. I have to admit, it's also nice to have the rest of the night to myself to catch up with cleaning or rest. Sleeping is tricky - about the time you think you have it mastered - the routine is upset. Teeth are usually coming in at a year of age and teething and sleeping don't always mix well.

Best of luck to you. No one can begin to tell you of the joys you have ahead. May the next few months fly by for you!

[jamsmu]

Catherine,

Congratulations!! This must be an exciting time for you!

I don't have a one year old (yet... almost 8 months :) )

Anyway, you may want to go to the adoption forum. Susan "Adpotchina" is a really nice woman with a four year old she adopted from China and she also has 3 other kids. She tells me she "hangs out" in that forum a lot so you may want to chat with her :)

HTH!

Huge congrats!!!!
T is 13 months and life has really changed for us in the past 2 months :)....
You'll be having a blast and chasing a 12 month old (or shortly after)...:)

You'll love it!!! It is a fun age, and I suspect only gets better!!!

[LucyG]

BUSY, BUSY, BUSY!!!!! But, it's the most fun I've ever had! We had a very laid-back baby, and around her first birthday she just came to life! Her increased mobility and growing vocabulary really have added a new dimension to everything. Now, every day is a new adventure. What can we empty? What can we fill up? How many plastic Easter eggs will fit in the bathtub? How do the clothes go into the dryer? What happens if I mush my muffin into my hair? You get the idea! My DD is 14 months old today, and I'm having the time of my life. Yes, there are certainly "moments," but it really is fun. I never have trouble getting to sleep at night anymore, as I'm up and running from the time she wakes up! Good luck to you!

Catherine, the others have done really well explaining what life's like with a 1 year old so I'll venture into China-adoption specific.

What amazed me the most about Mia was how quickly she "advanced" once she was with us, and especially after we were home. She got 6 teeth while we were in China (2 wks) and has worked up to the 2 year molars she's currently cutting.

Her reports said she could sit and stand but not crawl or walk. Before we left Hefei, she could crawl the length of the hotel hallway and stand on her own. She walked a few steps a month after we got home (15 mos old) and is running/toddling now (16.5 mos).

No solids consumed in China, save for gumming a few biter biscuits. 3 days home and she was on all solids (no pureed foods). 6 bottles a day in China, 2 weeks home and she only had a bottle a day, 2 weeks after that and it's only a bottle during the Eucharist at church for *my* sanity.

Totally easy going in China - never really gave me much trouble. Home? She knows she's loved and here for good and let's me know she feels secure. Threw her first mini crying-only tantrum yesterday and the Drama Queen is going to be good at it, that's for sure.

No words and only a little babbling in China and she's now talking up a storm, though we have no idea what she's saying most of the time.

We were able to basically see Mia go from 8-9 months old developmentally (though actually 14 months) to being darn near caught up. BabyNet (Early Intervention) assessed her at 9-12 months developmentally in February (14.5 mos old) and will come again next month to make sure she doesn't need services.

Mia's an absolute joy - we couldn't imagine life without her, even when she's being the Little Empress.

Allow me to agree - Jamie only walked at 17 mo. (the month before we got him) - he's now completely caught up with other kids his age with the exception of stairs - he has really short legs so more pulls himself up than uses his legs.

The best part about it being your first however, is you most likely won't have a good idea of how far behind she is until she's already catching up! We certainly didn't.

Kimberly, I was planning to have Jamie assessed once he's been home for six months. Is Baby Net a private company? A friend of mine is director of special ed and said I would have a really hard time getting him assessed through the school district unless he was obviously delayed - which he's not.

Thanks.

Holly,

BabyNet is the name of our county's EIS service and they'll assess *any* child for free. After the child is school-aged, they have to go through the school system and it's much more difficult to get services, hence the reason we did it early and quickly. We knew that language would be very difficult to assess so soon after our return from China but the advisor took that into consideration during her visit.

Try calling your local DSS, or whatever it's called where you live, and they should be able to hook you up with the right people.

[crl]

Thank you for helping me picture what my days will be like soon!