Is This Separation Anxiety, Age-Appropriate Behavior...Or What?!?

[randomkid]

DD is almost 14 months old and had been going to bed well at night for quite some time. We would go through our routine ending with me taking her into her darkened room and giving her some milk. She had even gotten to the point where I could brush her teeth after the milk. I'd put her down (awake), leave the room with a little cry out from her - lasting no longer than 30 seconds - then she'd go to sleep.

Well...she had an ear infection with a high fever. She didn't sleep well for 3 nights and I had her out with us or in bed with us. I tried to avoid this, but she was so miserable, she was just screaming and screaming. She slept in the bed with us two nights since that was the only way I could get her to sleep. Right after she got better, she did put up a fight for a couple of nights, then she did ok for a couple of nights. Now, it just keeps getting worse and worse.

Last night, she was so tired, she went right to bed and I was just holding my breath that we were back on track. However, she woke up after about 45 minutes just screaming. I waited to see if she would settle down, but she wouldn't. Long story short, she screamed and cried for almost 2 1/2 hours before she finally went to sleep at 11:00! I don't do CIO - if she doesn't calm down after 20 minutes, I intervene. It is the only way I can get her to settle down - CIO does not work for her and I won't do it. Obviously, it didn't work last night even though I didn't let her cry uninterrupted all that time. FWIW, I would wait until she was a little more settled before going in so she wouldn't associate screaming with getting me in the room (although I'm probably fooling myself with that). She wasn't settling down for good. Trust me, I waited and waited and she would get quiet then scream again - all the time, standing in her crib (video monitor).

Any ideas what is going on here? I'm so tired again! I thought maybe it was teething, so I gave her Tylenol last night, but that apparently made no difference whatsoever!

I appreciate any feedback, even if you just tell me this is normal. Would also like some input from non-CIO believers on how you would handle this.

Thanks,

[elliput]

Except for a couple of minor changes, I could have written this exact post today.

DD has been waking up screaming as if she is in pain, and I cannot figure out what is the problem. She did have a bit of a GI bug earlier this week and vomited both Monday and Tuesday nights. I am not sure if she was in pain from the residual effects of the vomiting, teething, gas, or what. I did the same thing - gave Tylenol and tried to get her settled down. What finally worked a bit was just letting her nurse herself to sleep, but if I tried to unlatch she'd semi-wake and start screaming again.

I am sure hoping someone can give us both a bit of insight as to what the problem(s) may be.

Could she be teething? I found that often after DS had been really clingy for several days in a row, and nursing round the clock, he would get a tooth.
I would just go with the flow, and comfort her. I think the whole idea of toddlers and children sleeping well forever once they do it for a while is a total myth. I know even as an adult, I go through periods where I don't sleep well, and sometimes I don't even know what's going on. It might be changes in the weather, barometric pressure, foods, allergies, etc. Or, it could be some kind of bug or flu that doesn't have really obvious symtpoms (like the ones where your body aches, but you don't have any more symptoms). My DS was screaming before bed last week, and I'm convinced he had growing pains in his legs. He was totally fine the next day, but he was screaming so badly that night, I almost called the doctor.
I know that's probably not helpful, but I just wanted to encourage you to keep comforting her, and not to worry if she needs more TLC at night for a little while.
My 2 and a half year old DS went from nursing several times/night and co-sleeping to asking to sleep in his own bed and only waking up once/night. If he goes through a phase where he needs me more at night, I'll just go with the flow and do what he needs. So far, I've found that's what works best for us.

[californiagirl]

So here's how it goes for us: DD gets sick. She is miserable. We bring her into bed with us/sleep with her as it is the only way for anybody to get any sleep. She gets a little better. She sleeps by herself. She gets apparently all better, and THEN needs somebody to sleep with her to get to sleep. I decide that I have permanently ruined her independent sleep and am a pushover and a bad Mommy, but just in case it's temporary, I lie with her as she goes to sleep for two-three days. On about day three, she says "Mama sleep in OWN bed. My pillow!" and I say "Whew! It was just left over from being sick!"

So if it were my house, I would feel that she needed some more TLC for a while, and if she used to be an independent sleeper, she'll go back to it. Or at least I would say that bravely as if I believed it, while crossing all my digits and hoping -- but so far, it's always been true for us.