DD is "lying" - what should I do?

[CBB]

Well, I shouldn't really call it lying but more looking for excuses so she won't have to go to bed. Before DD would keep bring books asking us to read "another one", "one more" before bed. We usually give about 30min of routine - book, teeth and byebye to everything. Well, we started potty training 2wks ago and she has been doing very well. She has not had an accident for more than a week and only wears diapers when she sleeps. The last two days, she has been using potty as her excuse for not going to bed. We start our routine around 7:45p. She told us she needed to go to potty and peed and pooped. We then read books, brushed her teeth. She told us she needed to go again and actually peed a little more. That was 20min after the first potty. We put her in her bed. She started crying and said potty again. We did CIO when she was little, so we said night night and left. She kept crying for potty. We finally went in after 10min and put her on her potty. She immediately stopped crying and started to make funny faces trying to make us laugh. She read her books again and refused to get up from the potty. We gave her a talk and told her that she can't lie. She finally said "all done". We pulled her up - she actually had a little more poop and pee. We put her in bed and she did it again, cried for potty. This time we finally ignored her and she did fall asleep eventully. She just can't possibly go potty 4 times in 1.5hr. She was fine during the day, went all morning with no potty. But nap time came, she did it again. Asked for potty multiple times and actually only went once. Again tonight same thing, we finally just let her cry for potty again. She did this two days in a roll. I'm worried that this is the beginning of "lying", but I also don't want her to feel that we are now ignoring her when she needs potty.

What should we do? How can we teach her that she can't lie?

TIA!!

[mudder17]

LOL, we call these "delaying tactics" around here. ;) Yes, Kaya will ask to go potty when she should go to bed, but usually she actually does go. But in the past when she asks to go potty and she sits there, DH will just tell her, "If you don't go now, then we're going to go to bed." He especially does this if she's fooling around and usually it gets her serious enough to do it. For whatever reason, maybe because she did the pee thing a lot sooner than the poop thing, she asks to go potty because she has to poop, but if she has a diaper on, she doesn't mind peeing in it. So if she asks to go to the potty during bedtime, we'll ask, "Do you need to poop?" and she'll say, "Yeah," and again, each time she really has gone. But she doesn't usually ask again once she's gone, so I'm not sure how to deal with what you have. It's possible that if you bring her to the potty and if she doesn't go right away (with no books, etc.), then she'll get the message that if she really needs to go, that's okay, but it's not playtime/storytime. But if she is just messing around, then she goes back to bed and still no playtime/storytime.

Good luck!

Eileen

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33734.gif 28 months...
http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catca...-6_Kaya+is.png
http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev317pp___.png
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33732.gif for Leah

We say "good night" to each part of the nightime routine now, and that has helped tremendously. Sometimes if she just wants to keep doing something ever after saying good night, we just lay in bed and hold her. Usually she is just using these things to spend some more time with us.

Most of the literature I've read indicates that children are not capable of lying until 3-4 years old. It's fairly normal for all kids that age to go through that stage.

Holli

[C99]

I agree w/ the PPs. That is delay tactics, not lying. WRT the PTing, I'd just put a little potty in her room. If she really has to go, she'll use it. If not, you'll know that it's just a delay tactic and you won't be giving into her. FWIW, I don't think that giving into her delay tactics occasionally now will create a liar when she's older.

[dhano923]

Like the others said, it's not lying, it's her trying to delay bedtime. DS does it too. He'll lie down, and then get up and say he's thirsty. I'll give him some water and he'll lie down again and then 2 minutes later, he says he's thirsty again. I don't give him any water after the first time though because I know he's really not thirsty. I just tell him it's bedtime, he already had water, and now it's time to sleep. He'll toss around for a few minutes and then lies down to sleep.

[mamicka]

This is what we do. Lawrence has a little potty in his room that he uses often when napping/at night. Whenever we're about to close his door for naps or night, we explain again, "now what do you do if you have to make pee-pee or poopies?" & he now knows the drill.

Caroline, how are things going? I feel like you haven't been around much? Hope everythings OK.

Allison

[CBB]

Thanks for the replies. We do keep a potty in her room. Well, nap time today is the same. She went three times within an hour, and each time just had a little bit of poop or pee. She said all done each time before I got her up, but 10min later it's "I need potty" again. Why can't she just do it all at once and how can she control her bladder so she only goes a little bit at a time x( . She doesn't have a UTI because she was fine during the day. Our usual bed time routine now takes almost 2hrs! How do I stop this?

[mudder17]

Okay, I have no idea if this would work, but how about this? If she's pretty good at peeing and pooping in the potty, put underwear on her during the day. Then when it's naptime/nighttime, she gets her naptime/nighttime diaper. Let her know it's OKAY to poop and pee in the diaper, just not in her underwear. We've done that for Kaya and it does seem to help a lot. Granted, she tends to poop in chunks (yay!), so she doesn't get the little bit of poop in her diaper, if that makes any sense. So maybe concentrate on only helping her to potty train when she's up and about and then before she goes to sleep, she has one chance to use the potty, then she gets her diaper on and it's time to sleep.


Eileen

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33734.gif 28 months...
http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/catca...-6_Kaya+is.png
http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev317pp___.png
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/33732.gif for Leah

[CBB]

Eileen,

I do put a diaper on DD whenever she naps or sleeps at night. Her diaper is always wet after nap and in the morning, so she really has no problem peeing in the diaper. During the day, she can go at least 4-5hrs without peeing. I think this is the "delaying tactics" that you and everyone else mentioned. I feel like she's "saving" a little pee for the next time (if that's possible) just to show us that she does need to go to potty when we try to get her to sleep.

Thanks!

[HannaAddict]

Just tell yourself that this too shall pass. She is really just starting to potty train and it sounds like it is going great. She is a toddler, she will outgrow this phase and I wouldn't even term it "lying" at this tender age. Hang in there and it will be over soon. :) (Though I know how frustrating an extended bed time routine can be and how it really takes away from adult recharge the batteries time!)