Back is killing me! Please reassure me that I'm not the only mom who's gone through this...

Long story short, but the only place my 1-month DD will sleep is on the Boppy, in my lap, me in a chair. After nursing. I'm all for being attatched, but I'm feeling trapped!

OK, she also falls asleep during car rides (usually), and in my sling (sometimes). I have tried transferring her to a bed, crib, PNP while asleep but it's 15 minutes max. before she is awake and screaming. She usually will stay asleep if I transfer her to the sling or carseat (a Britax, not a bucket) but obviously, neither solution solves MY sleep problem. I like nursing my baby to sleep and I love nuzzling close to her, but this sleeping-sitting-up thing is kiling my back, neck, shoulders, butt, etc...

And BTW, she doesn't care for the lying-down nursing in my bed. At this point I'm so sleep-deprived that I fall asleep before she does anyway and boy does that make her cry!

I guess that long story wasn't very short, but I needed to vent. Anyone BTDT? She is still little, but she will grow out of this right? Thank god DH is home, he can hold her while I shower. I need one BAAAAADDDDDDDDDDD....

[BaileyBea]

Sara,

Hang in there. It does get better. I remember I had pillows everywhere I nursed to support my back and arms. I also had the MyBrestfriend pillow and that helped out enormously. It has a little bit of back support but I still used pillows.

Have you read or seen the DVD for The Happiest Baby on the Block? I highly recommend seeing the DVD. This helped us tremendously. We discovered ways to hold DS and get him to relax enough to sleep. The sling was also a big help. If the sling hurts your back there maybe a good chance you are not wearing the sling correctly. I suggest finding someone or a store that sells the slings to help you learn how to use it correctly.

Next... here's a recommendation... see if you can get your DH to hold your DD in a sling during dinner or walks etc.. It helps with their bonding and it will give your back a much deserved break. DH got so attached to the sling we got him his own since my petite sling was too small for him.

Right now the biggest hurdle is getting your DD to trust you and feel comfortable outside of the warm womb she had for 9 months. The first 8 weeks are hard. You are trying to figure out what works for you and her. Nursing is a natural sleep aid for both Mom and Baby. I remember nursing (no matter what time) and finding myself dozing off. I would drink cold water, prop myself up w/pillows, try to relax and tell my DH to catch me if he saw me tilt over. He had to catch me a couple of times. ;-)

Nursing is hard work! Ask your DH to help out w/misc. stuff like propping up your pillows, talking to you while you nurse if you need to stay awake (especially in the middle of the night), making you something to eat (I remember being starving all the time), bringing you water. I nursed and my DH was in charge of changing the poopy diaper afterward and putting the baby back to sleep. I thought that was a nice way to split the parenthood with an infant.

I don't know what it is about nursing etc.. but can a Mom have too many showers when you are nursing? Probably not. I remember feeling stinky all the time and sweaty. Those crazy hormones. It gets better.

Good luck. Hang in there. Enjoy your shower.

[MommyAllison]

She will grow out of it! DD was the same way, just would not sleep (or be awake) anywhere but in my (or DH's) arms. I thought I would NEVER reach the point where I could just put her down. When she was your DD's age, I remember DH coming home and finding me crying because I couldn't put DD down long enough to water my Christmas tree. Now she barely holds still long enough for a snuggle, unless she's nursing. It will get better!! This stage will pass so quickly and then you'll be chasing her around for the next decade or two. :) Take plenty of showers - they are good alone time!

Allison

[elliput]

Hang in there, it gets better! :-) I had the exact same experience when my DD was that age, and I was convinced I would never get more than 2 hrs of sleep at any one time. She will grow out of it, she's just wanting to spend lots of quality time with her Mama right now. :-)

[JenDC]

I second The Happiest baby on the Block. Also, try swaddling her before you nurse her to sleep. My dd is a terrible napper, and it is really hard for her to go to sleep. But she loved (and still loves) being swaddled. We use the Miracle Blanket, but a receiving blanket can work for some babies too. Wrap, nurse, then gently shift her to whever you want her to sleep.

mmmhhhmmm
this too shall pass

things changed SO dramatically when dd turned 4 months. i am convinced it had to do with her gut being ~calmer~. We are now at 5 months now and I feel pretty good about things, except, she won't take a bottle, but that is another story.

Thank you, thank you!

It helps to know I'm not alone in this. DH helps when he's here, but there's only so much of him to go around. He loves slinging her when we go shopping, which we did after my shower. I reaaaalllly wanted him to take her *while* I showered, but I think he was a bit scared. It's strange how things change. When she was born, they bonded right away, she was such a daddy's girl.

Whereas BFing came very slowly for me and with difficulty. After a day and a half at home, DD had a high fever due to an infection & she was very dehydrated. We had to readmit her to the hospital for 10 days of antibiotics, IVs & tests. Naturally, I was a wreck. I felt stuck in that hospital bed, and while I was allowed to leave, really, how could I? At least I learned how to nurse her better, yet at the same time I was made to give her formula too, on a wonderfully rigid schedule. I wondered how that would help my milk come in. Still, every feeding was tracked, her diapers were weighed and she had to get calories *somehow*. Some days would go by where she would refuse my breast. I hated, hated, HATED every moment we were there. Every night she slept in my arms, I needed the comfort just as much as she did. So, not an ideal 1st 2 weeks, but we survived.
I pretty much had to promise the doctors I would continue to supplement in order to be discharged. I did a little, at first, until my confidence came back. So believe me, I am thrilled, not to mention proud, that she is nursing and finally gaining weight- 7oz last week, YAY! So that helps make up for the sore joints that come from sleeping in a chair. But I still worry about the SIDS risk of her sleeping like she does.

As I wrote this-- again, long, but I needed to get it out, and this is not even the half of it-- I nursed DD, she got drowsy, I swaddled her, and she fell asleep as I held her & swiveled in the desk chair.

She's very asleep but I am terrified of putting her down for fear she will wake back up. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

Holy cow! I put her in the crib, covered her with another blanket (there is a ceiling fan above the crib) & even tucked the shirt I wore today in there.... and she's stayed asleep in there for 35 minutes! That's a record! But am I going to lie down? No, I'll camp out again in here, in the rocker, just in case...

In the meantime, I got a snack and ordered the Happiest Baby DVD.
40 minutes! Woo-hoo!!!!

[lorien_ca]

hi sara, another BTDT mom here. only thing i can suggest that PP's haven't is flannel or jersey sheets. i know it may be hot where you are given the time of year, but somehow sam did (and still does) detect a cold cotton sheet on contact. something about the softer nap to the jersey or flannel helps. my nurse practitioner suggested it to me about 4 weeks PP, and although the difference it made then could only be measured in 10 or 15 minute increments, it's crazy how that extra 10 or 15 minutes here and there makes your day!

anyway, do look into a my breast friend pillow as well, that pillow was my lifeline in the early days of BF. also, the PT in me would tell you to change positions frequently if/when she does nurse and then sleep on you. even a little shift in position can help prevent as much strain to your joints and tissues. it does get better, you're doing great mama!

lori
Sam 5/19/05 How lucky I am that you chose me.

[dhano923]

Is it possible she prefers being upright when she sleeps because of gas or upset stomach? My son was like that.