Daycare Question - Biting

I'm really not sure how to handle this situation. DD is almost 15 months old and is in full-time daycare. Yesterday she was bitten. This is the 3rd time she has been bitten by the same little girl. This little girl has also bitten other children in the class. To say the least, I am not happy about the situation. However, I understand these things happen.

After talking to the daycare director yesterday, she outlined the "biting" procedure for me. The parents have been given biting reading material and made aware of the situtation. She said since the child has bitten more than 4 times - she should have been sent home yesterday but she was not because the director wasn't notified until the end of the day. Eventually she could be expelled from daycare if she continues to bite. I don't have a lot of confidence in the director and not sure she is actually doing anything proactive about this matter.

So am I overracting to this situation? Like I said, I know these things happen. Any advice or suggestions about how to handle this?

TIA....Sherida

[juliasmom05]

Having your DC get bit is tough. Having your DC be the biter is even tougher. Unfortunately, we've been on both sides :(. I think it is important that the parents of the biter be made aware of the situation and how to handle it, but I also think it is more important how the daycare providers handle the immediate situation when the biting occurs. After having been bitten at least three times, DD then started to bite, but only at daycare and never at home. So, it was difficult for us at home to try to deal with the situation because we had no idea what was causing it, why it was happening,etc. So, what are the daycare providers doing when this happening? Are there precipitating events? Is it due to frustration, is it for attention, teething, anger, being tired, etc? IMO, I think what the teachers do about it is more important than what the director does about.

I guess, if the teachers are not being proactive, then I would bring in info on how they can be proactive. Are they offering the child other things to chew on? Are they giving the child enough attention? Are they trying to figure out why the child is biting, etc.?

Hopefully, the biting will pass.

Marci

Mom to Julia 4/05

[JBaxter]

We are also dealing with a biter at Nathans preschool. Last week a child bit him during circle time. No reason just leaned over and bit. It didnt break the skin but left a red mark. Today I was talking to another mom and come to find out her son has been bitten 3x by this child. She was very suprised when she found out he had bitten also Nathan . The biters mom called me to say how sorry she was and told me this child bites his sister all the time at home (18mos) and they are working on it. He was moved from the 3's class back to the pre primary but the mother didnt say why. Its tough and I need to find out what the biting policy is at his school. I can understand biting from a 2 yr old but this child is 3 1/2 and knows it is wrong and hurts ( or so his mother told me).

[caheinz]

I would talk to the teachers and try to find out what they're doing about it. My son was also a target when he was in a toddler (15-24mos) room, and they were more than willing to explain it to me. What they did, and what did seem to work, was to make sure that any kid who got bitten got lots and lots of positive attention while the biter got a time out (or something like that -- with no attention (positive or negative) to make the kid want to bite again).

There were something like 3 teachers for maybe 12 or 15 kids max (I don't remember the ratio), and they were watching the biter like a hawk -- but the kid learned fast to wait for the split second that no one was watching. I know my son was not the only one bitten, but he was bitten three times in about as many days. Skin was never broken, though.

My son has only bitten myself or DH thus far (and only a couple of times, when he was pre-verbal and in teething pain), and he never seemed to be bothered by what was happening, at least not by the time I got there. Our directors were good -- they called me at work every time. I don't know which kid it was, but I do know the parents were involved.

Do talk to the teachers. They're the ones who are best able to deal with this, and I wouldn't be concerned as long as you feel better after talking to them. If you're still worried after that chat, then it might be worth speaking to the director again and making your worries known.

Thanks for the input. I guess part of my frustration is there have been constant teacher changes in DD's class in the last couple of months. The new teacher (just started last week) wasn't told about the biter and had her sitting close to my DD during snack time yesterday which was when the incident occurred. The biter usually makes her move when she wants something that another child has -- cookie, toy, etc. Don't you think they should point those things out to the new teacher?

I had not thought about asking about how the teacher actually handles the problem when it occurs. That's a good point. Of course the teacher had left for the day by the time I got there yesterday.

The little girl that is biting is also hitting and pinching. Most of the time they separate her from the other children. Yesterday there were nine toddlers with one teacher! I don't know how long there was only one teacher in the class, but obviously that's too many children for one teacher!