second thoughts on bf...advice?

I had orignally decided to give breastfeeding a try but now I'm not so sure...I'm only allowed six weeks of maternity leave and had planned on taking another 2 weeks of vacation time after the baby was born to get settled... but is eight weeks really enough?

I keep reading about how it takes at least 3-4 weeks (and sometimes up to 6) to get breastfeeding right, and since I won't be able to bf after I go back to work I'll need to introduce a bottle 2-4 weeks before (returning to work...so I've read). I'm starting to think I'm just setting myself up for a really, really big headache.

My husband thinks I should forgo the whole bf idea and just start of with a bottle since I have such a screwy work schedule (we rotate shifts weekly- days/nights). I'd heard that some babies will adjust to thier mother's schedules and take all (or most) of thier feedings when the mother is home from work...but if I'm jumping shifts wouldn't that keep our baby from developing a good feeding/sleeping schedule?

Also, I'm up for deployment (in the military) after four months post-partum, and I heard between 4-6 months is the heardest to try and wean a baby to a bottle if they decide they prefer the breast...and I wouldn't want to have to go 'cold turkey' on her, ya know?

I have to admit, it's not just work that's making me anxious...hearing about how difficult it is the first few weeks (sore nipples, etc) is starting to make me squirm...I can't help but think I'll be more inclined to quit when things get rough knowing that I can't bf for that long anyway.

Any thoughts or similar experiences?

I don't have a similar situation since I have 5+ months of breastfeeding and my son is only 7 weeks old, so I have limited experience, but I can offer you some of my thoughts about breastfeeding.

It is HARD work if it doesn't get off to a good start. Incredibly time-consuming, exhausting, and maybe more painful than you thought. I had latch problems, and the worry that he's not getting enough combined with sore nipples, hormones going wild, exhaustion, etc. is overwhelming. I supplemented with a little formula at night and it messed up my supply. Then he went through a growth spurt (10 days, 3 weeks, 6 weeks) so he needed even more...pretty soon I was having serious problems with providing him enough, so I went cold turkey off the formula--this meant he nursed all night long--8 hours straight, just sucking, napping, nursing--sometimes the sucking was without swallowing, just to signal my body that more milk was needed. It was horrible, but after that, things gradually got better--supply good, latch much better. etc. I think the turning point began when he was about 4 weeks with 6 weeks being another time where things improved dramatically.

This probably isn't helpful, but it's just to say that you're right--it might take 6 weeks to get into the swing of things. If you had a good double electric pump, some of the feedings you could give the baby in a bottle, even though all the experts say not to until the breastfeeding is going well, I disagree. In my case anyway, Jasper switched from bottle to breast pretty easily. Though we went a week without a bottle and it's like he forgot how to suck from one...

I guess you have to keep in mind that even 8 weeks of breastmilk is wonderful...but I bet you can go longer if you like, especially if you have a pump.

I wanted to give up dozens of times, but I kept thinking about all the moms who said "I wish I hadn't given up so soon" and I didn't want to have any regrets. And I don't. I am so happy I gave it a try, and that eventually things seem to be coming together. I would say if you know in advance that there are MAJOR challenges ahead, and that you set a deadline for yourself (I gave myself 3 months), that you can give it a try.

Get a lactation consultant or read up on breastfeeding BEFORE the baby comes. THat was my biggest mistake. kellymom.com is a great resource.

Hope this helps

Robin

[Saartje]

It's not so much that it takes that long to get breastfeeding right, it's just that it gets much easier after that point. It worked right from the beginning for me, but still got much easier after a few weeks. However, bottle feeding with formula would have been NO easier! The first few weeks with a newborn and recivering from childbirth are like that no matter what. You'll be all right. The 6 week mark is meant as encouragement not to give up before that point, not as reason not to try! Eight weeks is definitely enough time to get the hang of things.

As for the inclination to give up, always remember that any breastfeeding is better than none. As long as you breastfeed, you're giving good nutrition, antibodies, and more. Four months is a whole lot better than none.

I'm sure other mothers can give you more advice than I about nursing while working a rotating schedule, but I wanted to speak up and offer you some encouragement. :)

One last thing: go find a book on breastfeeding. Being prepared makes things much, much easier in the early days. Read the parts about how things work when they're going well; don't worry about what might possibly go wrong until you get there. I recommend So That's What They're For!, since it's an amusing read as well as a good introduction to breastfeeding.

ANY breastmilk is better than none for your baby. You can still breastfeed after you return to work. Your employer is required to give you time to pump, but even if you use formula during the day, you can breastfeed whenever you're home.

If the baby's already taking a bottle during the day while you're gone at 6 weeks, she should continue to take it at 4-6 months. Would the military really make a breastfeeding mother leave her infant that young? I am completely ignorant of the military, but that seems so harsh.

There are tons of resources on the internet as to why you should breastfeed. If you want them, try:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T020100.asp
http://www.lalecheleague.org/bfinfo.html
www.kellymom.com

If you're jumping shifts and possibly going to be leaving at 4-6 months (when baby's sleep habits go to hell in a handbasket), your baby's feeding and sleeping schedule likely will be screwy anyway, regardless of how you're feeding. Your baby will want to be with you, not just your breasts (although it does feel like that at first!). :)

>I have to admit, it's not just work that's making me
>anxious...hearing about how difficult it is the first few
>weeks (sore nipples, etc) is starting to make me squirm...I
>can't help but think I'll be more inclined to quit when things
>get rough knowing that I can't bf for that long anyway.

To me, being a parent is much, much harder than breastfeeding. To me, being pregnant is much, much harder than breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is best for your baby. If you're not going to do what is best for your baby because it's hard, that's not a very good reason. Your description of your life doesn't sound like you chose it because it was easy.

Good luck. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now.

Anna

[houseof3boys]

Anna and everyone else gave great advice and excellent resources to read up on but I just wanted to add to it.

If you are asking for opinions, I think you should do it for as long as you can. You do need to commit to doing it since there could be challenges in the beginning and it is easy to give up when they arise if you have not mentally committed to it. Any amount of breastmilk is better than nothing so I hope you at least give it a shot! :)

Please post here if you have any questions that come up because we would all be glad to help.

[american_mama]

It sounds like you've put a lot of thinking into this. But you never know unless you try whether you or your baby will be one of those who get the hang of it from the start. I think we who had problems initially tend to tell our stories more, so you may be hearing a biased sample. For instance, I just gave birth to my second child a week ago, and she has been a great nurser from the start (unlike my first child). Occasional use of pacifiers (and 24 hours with a bottle due to a medical problem) haven't confused her at all.

Aside from all the good-for-baby and good-for-you reasons to breastfeed, there are at least two other benefits. There is a major feeling of accomplishment in learning to breastfeed and knowing that you alone - your body, your skill, your dedication - nourished your child and literally fed all that growth and development. If you like to take on a challenge and see the rewards of your work, you will probably love breastfeeding. The second, more prosiac benefit, is the financial one. You will save a ton of money by breastfeeding even for 6-8 weeks.

There are many moms who felt lukewarm about breastfeeding before baby was born who came to love it. Again, you might be one of them.

You truly will never know how breastfeeding will work for you and your baby unless you try.

[miki]

Everyone has given great advice. I had one of those babies that was a good nurser from the start. But it was still very hard. Not because I was BFing but because we had a new baby and had no idea what we were doing! I really don't think it would have been any easier with formula. There were many times I wanted to give up but I lasted 13 months during which DD never got sick enough to go to the doctor. That health boost is what made me keep going.

You certainly are in a tough position with your work schedule. I don't envy you. But if you feel like this would be good for your baby and you want to try, give it a try. If it doesn't work out, you can always give formula. It sounds like you given this a great deal of thought. The way I always think about choices like this is whether I would regret not trying later on. Good luck.

[DebbieJ]

Everyone already gave great advice. But I wanted to chime in and encourage you to go for it! Some breastmilk is better than none for your baby.

Try setting small goals. Maybe start with the first six weeks. Then evaluate from there. If you decide to keep going, maybe meet with a lactation consultant and get a pumping plan in place.

Like a PP said, you really do have to make a commitment, but it is SO rewarding. We had a rough start, but we're still going strong at 11 months. My DS gets SO excited when he sees me unlatch my bra and get the boppy pillow. I would be missing that if I had given up at 2 months like I had considered.

Go for it! You won't regret it!

~ deb
Mommy to my sweet boy
B born 12/03
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/10023.jpg http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/10029.gif

[ethansmom]

You've gotten great advice from PPs.

The first thing that entered my mind after reading your post, is that we are entering the cold/flu season. Even *IF* BF does turn out to be work for you, I'm doubting it will be as bad as a sleep deprived new mom trying to care for a sick little babe in the middle of the night. Even if you are deployed in 3-4 months (I hope you aren't!) your child's chances of getting sick in the warmer months seem smaller to me.

I NEVER thought I'd BF past a year but since DS doesn't show any interest in stopping, and because he has yet to get a cold, I'm waiting until spring to try and wean! I contrast that to a friend who didn't BF and her kids/babes are always sick.

Oh ya, DS switched between breast, bottle and paci from the beginning w/out any problem. The hassle came at about 3 months when we went several weeks w/out giving a bottle. (BTW, the hassle wasn't really that bad.)

Good luck!

Please give it a try. Don't let sore nipples, etc scare you away. I was one of those who had big problems, I won't go into any detail but I never did manage to get DS latched on, I pumped for 6 weeks and then had to stop due to my own strange phsyical problem. I really really wish I had had the strength to keep trying to get him latched on but I was starting to go over the edge and decided it was better for DS that I was sane.

I would give anything to go back and try it again. I know I did the best that I could at the time but I really wish I had had the strength to keep at it. Make sure your DH can be supportive though, it will be harder if he isn't on board. And find a good LC before you deliver since you know you need to get it going as quickly as possible. (My hospital had 3 LC's and only one of them was worth anything, if she had been the first one I saw I might still be BF today.)

Marilee
mommy to James
http://lilypie.com/baby1/050120/1/0/1/-5/.png