Mean comments to a pregnant lady

[tmonroe]

I realize I am hormonal but honestly, why do people feel the need to say such negative things to a woman having her first child? It started out with the baby shower.

* One person asks me if I'm taking child care classes and when I said yes she gives me a speech on why they don't work. I had to snarkily tell her I was not interested in her or anyone else's negative comments because her experience is not my experience. Thankfully she shut up after that.
* DH's cousins girlfriend comes up to me and says, "wow you are carrying so nicely it can't be a girl." Meanwhile the invitations said it was a girl and everything is in pink. Then she goes on to say, "I just hope it's a girl when it's born because you know girls don't carry this well so it has to be a boy. I hope you're not surprised after it's born." I was so annoyed. WHo wants to hear that. I rolled my eyes and her and told her "being that she has a vagina and not a penis I think it's safe to say it's a girl."
* The kicker- my uncle calls me this morning to ask if we received his gift. He asks about my pregnancy and when I tell him it was great he reminds me that I have no control over the pregnancy and the baby may be born tomorrow. HELLO? My baby is not due until the end of April and I have been paranoia since the first trimester about premature births. He goes on and on to tell me how he knows I am ready and having the baby tomorrow would not be bad anyway. When I told him I am NOT ready until the baby is full term and that I would prefer he keep comments like that to himself as it makes me nervous and I have enough to worry about, he got irate and told me he didn't see the point of having a conversation if he couldn't share his opinion. I told him to have a wonderful and safe day as I had t hings I needed to do and hung up. This was the second time he upset me during my pregnancy and the last. He'll have to speak to my voice mail until this child is born.

Why are people so mean?????????????????????????

[rebeccaravit]

Originally Posted by tmonroe

Why are people so mean?????????????????????????

They're not mean, just stupid!

Big hugs to you for a safe and uneventful end to your preganancy. Don't let the comments get you down. Just keep focused on that beautiful little girl in your belly and you will be happy.

Also, just to let you know... the comments NEVER stop. Someone will give you advice every step of the way after the baby is born. Just remember that you are her mother and that you are doing nothing but the best for her.

[tmonroe]

Originally Posted by rebeccaravit

They're not mean, just stupid!

Big hugs to you for a safe and uneventful end to your preganancy. Don't let the comments get you down. Just keep focused on that beautiful little girl in your belly and you will be happy.

Also, just to let you know... the comments NEVER stop. Someone will give you advice every step of the way after the baby is born. Just remember that you are her mother and that you are doing nothing but the best for her.

thanks for your nice message. it made me feel better already! i just don't get why people are so stupid and i know i never will. i have been fortunate to have had a great pregnancy minus a few incidences here and there. i feel blessed because those things were not pleasant but could have been much worse. i try and stay positive which is why i don't get why people are so dumb. thanks for your nice comments.

[trales]

I totally sympathize with you. I wish I had you wit and could give such snarky, brilliant answers to stupid people.

he got irate and told me he didn't see the point of having a conversation if he couldn't share his opinion

My family does this all the time, it drives me crazy, they can have thier unsolicited and unwanted opinion, but if you respond and god forbid give your opinion they get all uppity.

I hope you enjoyed you birth classes, and have a wonderful full term birth of your baby girl. I know I enjoyed all those things.

[tmonroe]

Originally Posted by trales

I totally sympathize with you. I wish I had you wit and could give such snarky, brilliant answers to stupid people.



My family does this all the time, it drives me crazy, they can have thier unsolicited and unwanted opinion, but if you respond and god forbid give your opinion they get all uppity.

I hope you enjoyed you birth classes, and have a wonderful full term birth of your baby girl. I know I enjoyed all those things.

Thank you so much. I really enjoy the childbirth classes. I've learned a lot about what might occur in the delivery room and have met some nice couples plus it makes DH and I feel even more bonded which is nice.

People want to try and scare you but as soon as you say something back they want to get all upset and act like we've done something wrong. I really need to pick and choose who I deal with and speak to for the duration of my pregnancy. Thank god for caller id

[scoop22]

some people really have no clue what to even say to a pregnant woman. the comments i have heard this time around towards me have been awful. some things i can't believe even cross peoples minds. i have cried more times this pregnancy due to ignorant comments.

i know it is hard (and i have a really hard time with this!) but you learn to listen to certain people and ignore others. it's not an easy task but you know who you can talk to!! they are the important ones..

i hope you enjoy a full term pregnancy as well. i am 36 weeks and people keep asking me if i am ready.. no!! ask me again in a few weeks.

best wishes!!!!!!!!!!!! keep us posted on everything

[ritacheetah]

There were a bunch of us pregnant at the job I was at when I was pregnant with my first. We had a monthly newsletter and I wrote something called "10 things not to say to a pregnant woman." I'll have to see if I can find it but it included things like "you look like you swallowed a basketball" and "I can't wait to see you get fat." Or how about "are you allowed to drink coffee/eat shrimp/get a flu shot/etc." Amazing how insensitive people are and the hormones just make it that much worse.

[tnrnchick74]

I JUST had another one of "those "experiences" today. One of my well-meaning co-workers asked me how far along I was now...THEN commented that I'm VERY small for my 27.5 week pregnancy and has my OB measured the baby lately because it looks like I'm not eating enough or he's IUGR for some reason.

I DID tell her that at my last ultrasound BB was measuring EXACTLY in the middle of all the growth curves; that I have gained an appropriate amount of weight so far, and that I'm measuring EXACTLY normal.

THEN this person asked me why I was "poisoning" my fetus by drinking so much caffeine. I do NOT drink that much caffeine...I drink no more than the agreed amount my OB & I have discussed. But I get migraines WITHOUT caffeine, and since I can't take my normal migraine meds the caffeine is the lesser of 2 evils.

One of my true friends attempted to come "rescue" me by talking about my plans for the upcoming c-section and the origional co-worker went OFF about "Scheduled c-sections" and how horrible they are. I looked at her (thoroughly discusted) and said "Until I hire you to be MY OB-GYN, I would appreciate it if you keep your OPINIONS out of my pregnancy. There are very good MEDICAL reasons for me to have a scheduled, slightly early c-section and YOU have no right trying to make me feel guilty for ANYTHING". Then I went into the bathroom and cried. My friend was waiting for me after I got done with a piece of chocolate...she's 13 weeks pregnant

[kdeunc]

It doesn't get any better with later pregnancies either. I swear some people are just dense. Today in Target we ran into a former coworker of DH. My 5 year old mentioned that we are having a new baby and her response...Was it planned? Keep in mind I have met this woman maybe twice in my life. What I said "yes, believe it or not", what I wanted to say..."No, DH got me drunk one night and well, here we are!" Sorry to hijack your bitch!!

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and your little girl!

[hellokitty]

I don't know what it is about being pregnant that motivates ppl to disclose all of the pregnancy horror stories that they have stored up. I'm sorry you ran into such morons to make crappy comments like that. Unfortunately, even after you have the baby you'll get plenty of unwanted advice and criticism. Come up with a witty comeback now and it will make it easier for you to deal with ppl like that.