WWYD? 3 year old says "no camp today! i am sick!" for THREE HOURS

[lizajane]

my kids have half day camp and they have tons of fun. but dylan sobs hysterically EVERY DAY that he goes. he woke me up at 5am today and has been whining/yelling for more than THREE hours that he doesn't want to go, that he has a fever (he had one earlier this week) and that he needs to stay home. i have hugged him, i have promised lots of snuggles when he comes him, i had reminded him of the fun stuff and that his brother will be there, i have ignored him, i have told him that if he is sick that he needs to lie down in his bed, i have told him we are not going to talk about it anymore and i need him to go into his room if he needs to whine/yell...

i am GOING TO LOSE MY MIND.

and no, i am not going to waste $100 and just not make him go. i have SERIOUS stress in my life right now and i NEED my kids to go to a happy place when they get lots of attention and i get some free time.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Could you promise him some time with just the 2 of you later? Maybe he is just trying to stay home with just you while big brother is gone?

Big (((hugs))). 3 hours of that- I can't imagine. My ears hurt for you and that 5am start time really makes it even worse.


Beth

[hillview]

I am in same boat. DS crys/whines from when he wakes up (5:30-6) til 8 am when I drop him off at preschool camp. He is almost 3. He stops crying 5 mins after I leave and doesn't cry the rest of the time and has fun there. I spend a LOT of time talking about how fun it will be and when I come get him and what we do after etc. I also do some distracting. It has limited usage. I am expecting to either check into an insane asylum or that he will move past this at some point. It does seem to be getting a little better OH SO slowly. EG not he doesn't cry the WHOLE car ride there etc.

GOOD LUCK!
/hillary

[Puddy73]

I go through this almost every morning with my 4yo and it is torture! She will cling to me on the playground and refuse to let go of my leg. Her teacher literally has to pry her off of me. I know that she is dealing with some jealousy/insecurity issues related to the new baby and I'm really trying to be sensitive to that, but on the other hand I know that she exaggerates because she knows that it upsets me. [No flames please - I do think that a 4yo is capable of being manipulative.] She does not act this way when DH drops her off and is generally happy at camp. Could your DH handle drop-offs once in a while?

I do try to keep MY attitude very positive and remind her about the fun things she will do that day. I also try to have a fun activity planned for that evening that she can look forward to (can be something very simple like playing with play-do or making pizza). I do not go into long explanations every morning about why she has to go to camp (I WOH). We've discussed this at calmer times and she understands that I work to earn money to support the family, etc. If she starts whining, I just change the subject. I realize that sounds cold, but giving the same explanation 50 times is not productive for anyone. She also knows that if she truly feels sick she should ask her teacher to call me.

Sorry, no real advice, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone on this. Hope it gets better!

[deenass]

Have you spoken to the counselours about this? Could they make a BIG deal about him arriving at camp and personally engage him in some activites for a few days so that he is REALLY welcomed when he gets there - so taht you can say "so and so can't wait to see you, I wonder what they have planned, etc" so that you can focus on that in the am?

What kind of camp is it? Just wondering what experience the counselours have with kids as they might have suggestions as we...

[kcandz]

I echo PP about engaging the counselors in helping you out when you get there. This has helped a lot with my DC, we occasionally go through periods like this. Still. Usually after being sick or a school break, so I know it is not an issue with the school. Some other suggestions for the three hours at home:

In my experience, it usually it gets worse when I react, even if I react calmly. This is if I react extensively. We refer to this in my household as "engagement" (because sometimes it does feel like a war). Ignoring has also not worked for us, it just ups the intensity due to frustration on DC part at not being acknowledged.

I calmly acknowledge the first cry/whine/whatever. I say "it is a camp day today." in an even, calm tone. The language is purposeful because it is not saying "you are going to camp" which is personal - thus fodder for a power struggle. Then I ignore whatever comes after - that is the refusal to engage. I continue the morning routine - what do you want for breakfast? Are you wearing this shirt or that shirt today?

This won't necessarily work on the first try. Of course it will be tested because escalation or other tactics have brought another reaction in the past. Do it that way every day. Stick to the routine every day. Put a shot of whisky in your coffee cup for strength every day. Oh, that last one might just be for me.

[s_gosney]

This is what I have to do with my dd too...basically drop my end of the rope. If I give her any extra, she just pushes back all the harder. But if I don't engage, there is no power struggle. Definitely be forewarned about the potential escalation initially though. The school battles definitely stink though. I feel for you. Good luck finding something that works for you!

[TraciG]

I was just going to post about this !

Sydney is 4.5 & is used to going to Nursery school THEN Pre K, so she was in school 5 hour's BUT saw me for an hour in between. I am so SURPRISED that she's having a hard time. She get's picked up from the bus at 7:45 & dropped off at 3:45 so it's a long day !! I thought she'd LOVE camp, first it was the counselor's that she didn't like so yesterday they gave her 2 new one's. This morning from 6:30 until 7:45 when she left she was crying she didn't want to go to camp. She was actually begging me not to go. She said it's to long & she misses me.

Today is a fun day at camp they're at an amusement park, they have trip's on Wednesday's & Friday's so I thought she'd wake up excited, boy was I wrong !

My DH take's her to the bus & the only thing that stopped the crying yesterday was that he gave her $$ for ice cream & today a lollipop worked {not thrilled for her to eat a lollipop before 8 AM but we're desperate ! } This will have to end, I can see that becoming a habit !


I have talked to her division leader EVERY day, she has gotten her off the bus twice.

Anyway just wanted to share same problem here !

[lizajane]

Originally Posted by Puddy73

She does not act this way when DH drops her off and is generally happy at camp. Could your DH handle drop-offs once in a while?


Sorry, no real advice, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone on this. Hope it gets better!

thanks, friend (and all other posting friends!)

DH is at work 2 hours before camp (today 3 hours) and is 30 minutes from camp. so definitely can't do it. too bad! i love that idea!!!

the couselors are GREAT and they have worked really hard with him. they carry him in while he screams and they let him play with his brother and they tell him he is very brave, etc etc. it is the HOURS of "no camp today" in the morning that kill me. seriously, 5 am!!! i can't stand to wake up at 5am, much less listen to "no camp today!" at 5 am!!!

thanks for comiserating, everyone!